The Bodie Award for the Most Inventive Excuse or the Most Implausible Explanation
Photo in Bodie's phone
Ward off evil spirits and ex-girlfriends.
Cowley makes my head spin all day every day - call it my own form of petty retribution.
1. Standard CI5 issue
2. Very early video conferencing equipment.
3. Bodie's very good at doodling and drew it during a long boring phone conversation once.
4. It's a button which moos when you press it - Bodie made it because it amused (amoosed?) him or maybe someone else made it and gave it to him as a present.
5. Doyle put it there to ruin any chance Bodie had of having decent phone sex.
Because Bodie doesn't have a dartboard to stick it on.
[Answer to both questions]
Cowley decided, as a rare treat, to give his photograph to his top agents as a reward for an operation completed successfully. Doyle decided to keep the photo in his flat in a specially purchased frame. Bodie decided he wanted to see the Cow more often and cut the photo to fit into the dial of his phone.
NB: The vermin known as Bodie & Doyle wish to state categorically that they do not own any photos of Cowley. They also state any such photos landing in their cage would be pee'd on, and then chewed and used for bedding
Doyle's revenge for Bodie's latest birthday present (see below):
"But sir, you have such a nice smile"
To remind himself where his duty really lies every time he's on the phone to a girlfriend.
Reminds him of how good Doyle looks.
1. Y'know spirit of good relations. Makes me have something to swear at every time he cancels my leave.
2. Target practice for when my phone gets blown up.
3. Used to have the girlfriend there to remind me of her - but hell, Cowley screws up my dates - so he may as well be there instead.
4. Well after that last knock on the head my short term memory is shot to pieces and I can't remember what the wily old fox looks like.
It's like the bat phone - the picture glows when Cowley phones Bodie.
To remind him that you never waste money making long peak rate calls.
To remind him who pays his wages (yes, I am obsessed by money)
Doyle put it there in retaliation (see below). But he was more subtle and Bodie only discovered it in this scene. Unfortunately the joke lost its impact in view of the bomb problem.
Spoof pressie from Doyle (in return for the framed photo). Bodie's still pretending he hasn't noticed it yet...
Photo in Doyle's flat
It's the only thing that keeps the cockroach population down - scares 'em off.
To scare away the bad guys.
1. He turns it to face Mecca and prays to it every night.
2. He stole it from CI5 for a bet
3. He uses it as target practice with those suction tipped dart guns.
4. They had a party once and played 'pin the Hitler moustache on Cowley'.
5. Bodie put it there in retaliation for Doyle putting one on his phone.
6. It's a magic eye picture - if you look at it in a certain way or through special glasses maybe it's actually a picture of a naked woman.
He puts it on his mantelpiece to keep his nieces, nephews and the dog away from the fire at Christmas.
As a darts target when he's been a victim of triple think.
A joke birthday present from Bodie - Bodie thought I should show some respect to my elders, so it's to practice with.
So he can salute it every morning after reveille
Reminds him of how good Bodie looks.
1. Instead of a dart board.
2. Reminder of the cause of my abject misery - I just have to look at it and be depressed, don't need Ann Holly for that.
3. That Gordon Jackson, lovely man, really nice to his fans - sent me a signed photo 'n all.
4. To prove to my girlfriends it's not another woman that I keep standing them up for.
He prays in front of it every morning... his own personal shrine to his favourite boss.
It's a love thing!
To throw darts at.
Bodie put it there after Doyle referred to Cowley as 'father', saying Doyle should have more family portraits around the place.
Spoof pressie from Bodie, displayed in flat as amusement/talking point for the observant. Would he remove it if he were expecting Cowley to visit though? (Probably not)
© 2000 (October) Joules Taylor & Carol Good.
© 2000 WordWrights.