Forlorn
It was impossible to keep it entirely within the family, of course. Discreet as the Guard were, the sheer enormity of what had happened could not remain a secret. After all, Mahrayne - and more particularly Kelapa - had done something that struck at the very heart of the Saiyan way of life. For millennia claiming had guaranteed protection, care and safety for the one claimed, and ensured the paternity of the resultant brats for the one claiming - an important consideration where the males outnumbered the females six to one. Since the Saiya-jin had become the masters of Vejiitasei claiming had become far more than that simple biological imperative (for it was so deeply engrained in the Saiya-jin psyche that what had started as a way of securing and keeping a breeding mate had become intrinsic to the species) - it was now the ultimate expression of love. For most individuals, anyway: the royal family had always been exempted, as Leteetza knew to her cost - or possibly to her pleasure; she had, after all, been granted far more license than would ever be allowed to another. But for everyone else, whether done in the heat of the moment or after long deliberation, claiming was the way to demonstrate the desire and willingness to love and care for the other for as long as they both lived. Claiming was sacrosanct - and exclusive. The couple might permit physical relations between themselves and others - sometimes it was necessary, sometimes it was simply fun - but to share on a regular basis? To accept a double claim? It was impossible, an unforgivable insult to the very core of the claim.
No one was permitted to intervene between claimed couples without the permission of both. And if the partners were also bonded, anyone trying to come between them courted death.
Hijau frowned at the screen. Kelapa had put in a request for ten days leave and a shuttle to Pankuzu: Leteetza confirmed that she was taking her lover with her. For a moment he debated refusing the request, but their absence would make life easier for Zorun for a few days…
He met the King's Guard as Zorun came off duty and accompanied him back to his quarters. Zorun looked exhausted.
*Aijin? Can I help?*
The bigger male shook his head.
*No one can help…* He frowned. That wasn't quite true. Zha'haabron might be able to… He sighed, closing tired, desolate eyes.
*But thank you for asking.*
Hijau watched him worriedly. Zorun had buried his grief deeply, but it ached in the captain's mind. He bit his lip and stroked the Guard's mane.
"I… have had a request for leave. From Kelapa."
Zorun stiffened at the hated name, but listened in silence.
"She wants to take Mahrayne to Pankuzu for a few days. They want Kinu to go with them."
The King's Guard stared at Hijau for a moment or two, then nodded.
"Allocate six guards. And I will see my son before they leave."
"Six?"
"Six Elites. I will not risk her taking Kinu away."
Hijau blinked.
"You mean offworld?"
"I can trust neither of them. They have proved that."
The captain nodded reluctantly. He couldn't imagine Mahrayne being quite that cruel… but then again, she'd shown no reluctance to hurt Zorun in the past…
"Very well. I'll organise it. And I'll have Apyo collect Kinu for you - unless you want to stay in the suite with us tonight? You would be most welcome."
Zorun wanted to, Hijau could *feel* it, but the big male shook his head, lowering his gaze.
"Thank you - but I don't want to… inflict my unhappiness on the family."
Hijau pulled him into a hug.
*You wouldn't be, aijin. You'd be welcome.*
*Thank you. But I'd rather not… her scent lingers…*
His own eyes prickling, Hijau held the grief-stricken warrior as he wept.
*I'm sorry. I had not known I was so weak.*
Zorun had finally brought himself back under control and pulled away from Hijau. The captain gripped his shoulders.
*Zo-chan…If it had happened to me, I think I would have killed them both. You are not weak. You are compassionate and merciful. To be admired.*
*And pitied.*
*That is not your fault.*
The King's Guard nodded wearily, then pulled himself to his feet.
"I will spend all day tomorrow with my son."
"You have down-time?"
"I was going to take Mahrayne to the mountains. She's never seen them. I'll take Kinu there instead."
Hijau nodded resignedly.
"Very well. Apyo will bring him to you at second sunsrise."
Ti'aasaan had taken the message to Mahrayne: Kel hadn't been impressed when told. Kinu had slept with the two females that night, and when Apyo arrived the next morning the Saiyan rounded on the guard.
"Couldn't be fucking bothered to collect his brat himself?"
Apyo had stared at her, and she'd recoiled inside at the hatred in his eyes.
"Zorun-sama does not want to see either of you. At the moment, warrior" he'd made it a sneer, "the King's Guard is undecided as to whether to annul his claim." He smirked ferally. "There are those of us who hope he will. Because, believe me, you would not survive a challenge to your so-called claim - and none of us would weep if you were… accidentally… killed in the combat…"
Kinu's eyes were wide, his tail quivering as it coiled around his father's forearm where the King's Guard held the child to his chest. The air was breathtakingly cold, and beneath them the winds blew sprays of sparkling snow from the peaks, but Kinu, wrapped in his father's ki, was warm and snug and loving every precious second of their flight…
They'd landed around noon in a secluded, sunfilled valley brilliant with grass and moss and tiny, deep purple mountain flowers. A tumbling stream, so cold it numbed the tongue to drink, leapt down the steep valley wall into a deep clear tarn: Zorun had watched, eyes filled with pride, as his brat hunted and caught some of the small animals haunting the little wood that clung to the side of the valley. They'd sat and feasted, hunters together, on Kinu's catch and the fat fish Zorun had pulled from the lake, then dozed in the sunslight, the hybrid curled up on his father's chest, their tails twined together.
Towards evening Zorun had, regretfully, gathered the sleepy cub into his arms, soared into the cloudless sky and flown them slowly homewards, watching the setting suns gild his son's mane with fiery gold as Kinu, his eyes huge, watched the stars slide down the sky into the southern ocean. And Zorun *saw* the sunsets through his son's eyes, rediscovering an innocence he'd had taken from him thirty years before.
He took the cub back to the suite himself, landing on the balcony and entering at Zha'haabron's smile. Kinu was struggling to keep his eyes open, but nevertheless held his arms out eagerly to Zha'haarak. Zorun placed his son in the gentle zn'hre's arms: the cub snuggled against the prince's belly and immediately fell asleep. Zorun smiled tenderly at his son, then glanced at Hijau.
*I am very glad he is so close to your hostling.*
Hijau nodded.
*We are too, aijin.* He hesitated for a moment, then touched Zorun's shoulder. *Will you stay with us tonight?*
It was tempting… but there were echoes of her everywhere. He couldn't. He shook his head.
*No.*
*Then shall I come to you?*
Zorun eyed Zha'haarak - and all the pain he'd managed to suppress this day resurfaced in a burning wave of anguish. He shook his head.
*Your place is here. With your bondmate. I will see you tomorrow.*
And not giving Hijau time to object, he turned and left.
Vejiita was scowling, arms crossed over his chest.
"What is wrong with you? Your performance is abysmal."
Zorun dropped to one knee and bowed his head.
"Sire, I'm sorry…"
"Sorry isn't good enough. You have two days to get yourself back up to form or your post goes to someone else. There are plenty of Elite waiting behind you…"
Oh, I'm sure there are, Zorun thought bitterly to himself. A few of them might even almost be good enough… He rose to his feet, hand clenched over his heart.
"I won't disappoint you, Sire."
"Better fucking not…" the Saiya-jin-no-Ou growled under his breath. "Dismissed. Be back here in two days."
There was only one way he could accomplish this. He headed for the palace.
Zha'haabron eyed Zorun worriedly - the King's Guard was holding himself upright with an effort, eyes dark-ringed. He'd obviously not slept since the k'ghsa…
Zorun dropped to one knee, head bowed and right hand clenched over his heart.
"Heika - I have a favour to ask of you."
The king frowned, filled with a sense of foreboding. He glanced swiftly around the suite: Zha'haarak was pale and wide-eyed, Jagung tense, Ti'aasaan hugging Ra'vahn and Za'rayne tightly to his chest. Zha'haabron touched the Saiyan's shoulder lightly.
"Come with me, King's Guard."
The side room was quiet, and warm, sunslight reflecting from the pale golden walls. Zha'haabron ushered Zorun to one of the chairs and seated himself in the other, watching the Saiyan's pale, drawn face closely. He already had an inkling of what the warrior wanted him to do.
Zorun was silent for several minutes, eyes downcast, then raised his head.
"Hijau tells me you can… break bonds."
The king nodded.
"I have had some success in the past."
"I want… I would like… you to break the bond I have with Mahrayne."
As he'd expected. Zha'haabron frowned.
"Why?"
Zorun closed his eyes, an expression of anguish twisting his face.
"Because I can feel her, everything she does with my… with Mahrayne. And it hurts. It hurts more than I can bear."
Zha'haabron sighed silently.
"Warrior, assuming that I am able to do this - and I am not guaranteeing that it is possible, much depends on your mind and how resistant it is to 'invasion' - it is not something to be undertaken lightly. Once broken, it is unlikely in the extreme that the bond could be reinstated."
"I accept that."
The king inclined his head.
"I need you to consider it more deeply."
Zorun's eyes opened. The depth of hopelessness and pain within them, in the Saiyan's face, was appalling.
"Please, heika." The whispered voice cracked. "I can't… can't function like this. I'm of no use to anyone. I've lost Mahrayne: unless I can… I'll lose my post if I can't… the Saiya-jin-no-Ou has already noticed…" He sank his head into his hands. "I don't want to lose my post. It's all I have left."
Zha'haabron laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Not all, warrior. You have your son, and new hostlings on the way."
Zorun shuddered, fighting back tears.
"And the joy I should have in them has been taken from me."
"You feel that much for Mahrayne?"
The bowed head nodded.
"And your children?"
"I…" His voice broke.
Zha'haabron *brushed* his mind…
Love there, such love, for Kinu, for the new cubs-to-be, and strong bonds… deep love and deeper despair for the Hassinan - he no longer thought of her as mate, had already relinquished her, in his mind, renounced his claim… and deeper still a simmering self-hatred… he'd known he wasn't good enough, had always known it, Nappa had made sure he knew it… Now he'd had it proven…
Zha'haabron brushed the tears from his own eyes, heart aching for the Saiyan, so strong on the outside, so tortured within, and cupped the too-cool face in gentle hands.
"Zorun…"
"Please, heika… please… I can't bear this…"
He couldn't even argue that it would grow easier in time: as he knew well, Saiyan bonds deepened with the years, not lessened. And Zorun was in agony… He sighed.
"Very well."
The anguished relief that flooded the guard was almost overwhelming. Zorun regarded him, the tiniest flicker of hope in his eyes.
"Now?"
"Now."
The dark eyes closed.
*My life is yours, heika…*
Shaking his head ruefully, Zha'haabron led the guard over to the bed and pushed him down, lying beside him and pulling him into a comforting embrace.
"Close your eyes, King's Guard. Think of nothing…"
When Zorun woke, a couple of hours later, he found himself still held in strong cool arms, his head resting on the king's shoulder… And the pain had gone.
Not all of it, not by any means. But that awful soul-deep agony had eased. He no longer had any sense of Mahrayne, and thence Kelapa… He sighed and pulled gently away from Zha'haabron.
"Thank you."
The king pushed himself upright, golden eyes sympathetic.
"How do you feel?"
"I can survive, now."
Zha'haabron inclined his head.
"How do you feel?"
"I…" Zorun *reached* inwards, closing his eyes. Moments later he opened them and gazed bleakly at the zn'hre. "Lonely. But I'm used to that."
Zha'haabron waited, but nothing more was forthcoming. He frowned.
"King's Guard?"
Zorun stood, then dropped to one knee and bowed his head.
"I thank you, your Majesty, for your help. My life is yours, after my king, and with his highness."
Zha'haabron watched as Zorun almost visibly pulled a cool, determined façade around himself, his face impassive, giving nothing away. The king nodded sadly. Zorun would survive, yes - but by cutting himself off from everyone and everything. Again.
Except his son. His bond with Kinu was the only brightness in his life at the moment.
Mahrayne had much to answer for.
Jeice was frustrated. Four days and so far he'd been unable to find anything relating to the Warui-jin. Even with Manzano's team scouring through the records - and there were a lot of records; the Omanir were bureaucratically-minded - they'd found nothing.
The breakthrough came on the fifth day. But it wasn't anything anyone wanted to hear.
"Karilun? Their homeworld is in Karilun space?"
Jeice shoved a hand through his hair and nodded wearily. These five days had been most unpleasant for him, a constant reminder of the nightmare that had been his life before Vejiitasei, a cleaning cupboard and two little alien princes… Manzano frowned.
"This is… unfortunate…"
Radittsu snorted.
"That's one way of putting it… All right, we can't do any more here. Grab everything and let's go home."
It took a little more organisation than that, but by local dawn the following day they were on their way back, the ship's memory banks replete with every last atom of information they'd been able to glean.
Radittsu, Merica and Jeice *knew* there was something wrong before they even landed - though at least they knew it wasn't to do with their own mates or the immediate family. Arriving back in the suite Merica hastily joined Jagung, Jeice was inundated by zn'hre hostlings - and Radittsu stood in the centre of the common room, frowning as he glanced quickly around at the assembled family.
Mahrayne was conspicuous by her absence, both physical and in her fading scent. He folded his arms across his broad chest and sighed.
"All right. What's she done now?"
Hijau beckoned him out onto the balcony.
Radittsu shook his head in exasperation.
*What the fuck was Kelapa thinking of?! She at least knew what she was doing!*
Hijau nodded worriedly.
*I know. I think there's something we don't know. She hasn't been quite her usual self since the palace was attacked. Something to do with the Warui-jin, I think.*
*Whatever it is, that's no excuse for this almighty fuckup. How's Zorun?*
Hijau closed his eyes.
*Devastated. He had the Ssii'iin break their bond.*
Radittsu stared, then slumped.
*So that's it, then. His brief foray into love a disaster. Shit.*
Hijau smirked tiredly.
*Oh, it gets better… Kelapa went to see him, accused him of driving Mahrayne away. Only she was so furious - and I'm sure there was some guilt there too, though she was trying to drown it - she didn't realise she was coming into heat…*
Radittsu groaned and buried his face in his hands.
*Oh fuck… She's pregnant?*
The captain nodded.
*Of course.*
*… what a fucking mess…*
*Sorry you had to come back to it, aijin.*
Radittsu grabbed him into a tight hug and sighed.
*Not your fault… Have you seen either of them?*
*No. Kelapa's keeping well out of my way. But Zha'haarak says Mahrayne is very unhappy.*
*Well what the fuck does she expect?!*
*I know, I know… But she's… it's like the zn'hre, they don't understand what jealousy is…*
*Maybe not, but the zn'hre understand what claiming is!*
Hijau grabbed his mane at the sides of his head with both hands and gazed resignedly into deep ebony eyes.
*Yes, I know that, and you know that, but the fact is it's happened. Now, we can either 'remove' Kelapa - which will anger her father and devastate Mahrayne, not to mention how Zorun will react to having his first and quite probably last pure-blood brat killed - or we can follow the King's Guard's example and accept the situation and make the best of it.*
*I don't like either option.*
*Neither do I.* He shook his head, bewildered. *How can they do it? The thought of allowing someone else to claim me, no matter how I felt about them - it makes me feel sick. Though I know Leteetza feels differently. She'd love for you to claim her.*
Radittsu shook his head.
*Can't be done.*
*I know. Doesn't stop her imagining it, though.*
Radittsu frowned to himself, absently running strong fingers up and down the smaller male's back.
*I… hadn't thought of it before…*
Hijau's eyes were wide and alarmed.
*And don't think of it now, either! Zha'haabron needs you, your brats need you - even Vejiita needs you, though that wouldn't stop him killing you if you dared to try!* He grimaced. *Heh, even I need you. Sometimes. Now, you wouldn't want to upset all of us, would you?*
*Gods forbid!* Radittsu grinned wearily. *So where is everyone now?*
*Mahrayne and Kelapa are on Pankuzu - though I don't know if they're going to stay there her whole down-time: 'jau is getting fractious and unhappy without his little mate, and I'd guess Kinu is feeling the same.*
*That's serious, then?*
*Looks like it.*
*Hn…*
*Leteetza's spent a lot of time with Vejiita - but I think that's because they're trying to argue their way through some sort of plan for the twins' futures.* He nuzzled the bigger male's neck. *She'll be back soon with the brats. I know she wanted to be here to meet you. 'dittsu's missed you, you know.*
Radittsu smiled.
*Ah, my little brat. I've missed him too. He's been all right, though?*
*Spent most of the time with the Ssii'iin.*
*Good…* He pulled back slightly and stretched. *Heh, s'good to be back. That lighter gravity gets to you after a while.*
Hijau chuckled.
*Come on back inside and bathe. Your bondmate has missed you…*
Radittsu's expression sobered.
*He's been all right?*
The captain nodded.
*Couple of nightmares, and he's been tense - and the overall situation didn't help much - but he's fine.*
*Good.* He sighed. *I should really go and see Zorun…*
Hijau glared and fisted a hand in his mane, tugging hard.
*Tomorrow. Tonight you take care of your zkai'da.* He smiled sadly. *Tomorrow we will consider what - if anything - we can do to help Zorun.*
Zha'haabron relaxed back against his bondmate in the warm water, happy for the first time since Radittsu left, relieved beyond speaking that his zkai'da was home safe. The pool was silent tonight, the children already asleep on the platform, leaving the chamber to their elders: Merica cradled Jagung to him, oblivious to everyone else in his joy at being reunited with his bondmate, Hijau held Zha'haarak tenderly, hands resting on his belly, trying to calm the restless little hybrid, while Jeice cuddled into a vaguely discontented Ti'aasaan…
Over and above the throbbing dull red ache he could feel in Zorun, trying to rest at Guard Headquarters, Jeice was conscious of pain closer to hand. And the hash'shavven was worried. Whatever it was that was bothering the little zn'hre, he wasn't consciously aware of it. He was content with Jagung and Merica, it wasn't that - but there was something missing. Ti'aasaan didn't know what it was, and Jeice couldn't work it out. But it was getting stronger.
He'd have to watch more closely.
Mahrayne and Kelapa had returned from Pankuzu and Kinu and Za'jau were happy again. Jeice watched the little part-Hassinan curled up beside the prince, his tail stroking Zha'haarak's rounded belly. The gentle zn'hre was now seventy days into hosting and Vinas was very happy with his condition, though still keeping him closely monitored. And Hijau and Zha'haarak had taken Kinu with them for one of the scheduled checkups…
Kinu had watched, huge-eyed, from Hijau's arms as Vinas scanned the prince's abdomen. And as the little figure with the long tail appeared on the screen, he squealed and pointed to Zha'haarak's belly, beaming delightedly.
"'S 'jau! In there!"
Hijau chuckled and nuzzled his silver mane.
"Yes, brat, that's 'jau."
Kinu stretched out his tail to stroke the zn'hre's abdomen and grinned at the captain.
"Mine."
Hijau blinked.
"Yours?"
The hybrid nodded happily.
"Uhuh…"
Hijau glanced at Zha'haarak, who was smiling, tears glinting in his eyes.
**I believe it's so, zkai'da. Za'jau is so happy when Kinu is near**
*I've never heard of it happening before…*
**But it never has happened before…**
Hijau laughed and knelt to hug his bondmate, Kinu cuddled between them.
*That's true…*
Vinas' lips were twitching as he watched: he coughed gently for attention.
"Well, your highness, everything is proceeding well. You've been continuing the dance lessons?"
Zha'haarak nodded, ignoring Hijau's frown. Vinas inclined his head.
"They are having a positive effect. The hip is noticeably stronger and more supple. I will check again next time I see you, but for now I see no reason for you to stop. In fact, I would prefer it if you were to persist with the exercise, certainly for the time being."
"Thank you, Vinas. I will be happy to do so. I enjoy the art."
"Good. Any other concerns? You are drinking plenty of the nutritive mix?"
"We're making sure of that!" Hijau smirked. Vinas nodded.
"Very well. I'll see you in five days, unless anything worries you in the meantime."
Two days after they'd arrived back, Mahrayne and Kelapa were relaxing after the midday meal when there came a sharp knock at the door. Frowning at her lover, the Hassinan moved to open it.
Leteetza stood there, scowling. Mahrayne bowed her head, swallowing nervously.
"My… my lady?"
"Your presence is required. Tomorrow, main reception hall, to greet the Hyoujin delegation. Two hours after second sunsrise."
Mahrayne stared, then cleared her throat.
"Um, my lady? May I ask why?"
"Because," the King's Companion replied with heavy sarcasm, "the Saiya-jin-no-Ou requires the presence of the Hassinan representative on Vejiitasei. Or did you forget that along with everything I told you about claiming?" She snorted impatiently at the look of bewilderment on Mahrayne's face. "Just be ready. A guard will come to collect you. Just you." She added, glancing pointedly at Kelapa.
Mahrayne lowered her head again, murmuring a quiet "yes, my lady" as Leteetza, one last glare directed at the warrior, turned abruptly and stalked away.
Mahrayne regarded her lover.
"Do you know anything about the Hyoujin?"
Kelapa shook her head, then sighed resignedly.
"Suppose you'd better get yourself over to the library, then…"
© 2003 January 25th Joules Taylor
A shr'en'an expletive, roughly meaning 'wreck', 'upset', 'disaster'.
Back
(your) Majesty. Formal Saiya-go.
Back