Ghosts 1

Ghosts… 1

Leteetza's cubs had been safely delivered and now Kel was leisurely flying Mahrayne back to the suite.
       "Are you all right?" Kel asked her. Mahrayne nodded and smiled hugely. She was trembling, a reaction to the nervous exhilaration she was feeling. The birth had been as smooth and trouble free as Leteetza had said it would, and the babies… The cubs were beautiful, so like their fathers. Mahrayne's smile got impossibly broader; she was glad she hadn't promised the little female she wouldn't fuss over the babies, because honestly, she didn't think she'd be able to stop herself...
       Mahrayne snuggled closer to her lover, tilting her head to kiss Kel's jaw. She really wanted to go somewhere quiet and make love to Kel right now, but maybe she should first let the family know that everything was fine? She grinned, no doubt Radittsu had *told* his bondmate already, no one would miss Kel and herself for a little while yet.
      Mahrayne nibbled down the line of Kel's chin.
       "Can we go to the glade, jha-tunovahn?"

The females lay wrapped around each other on the cool moss, naked and sweating in the starlight. Mahrayne kissed her lover's throat, giggling when Kelapa groaned. The warrior was definitely ready to sleep whereas for Mahrayne, their short, intensely sweet bout of love-making had only taken the edge off her nervous energy.
       "Come on, you poor tired thing," Mahrayne grinned, "let's get back to the suite, then you can sleep and I'll dance, yes?"
      Kelapa nodded, yawning. "Are you always this bouncy after a birth?"
      Mahrayne nodded, smiling. "Oh yes."
      Kelapa stroked her fingertips lightly over Mahrayne's abdomen. "You going to have this much energy when your brat's born?"
       "I don’t know," Mahrayne said candidly, "but it's not long until we find out, yes?"
       "Seems like you’ve been pregnant for ever." Kel grumbled.
      Mahrayne laughed, and shrugged into her robe. "Not for ever." She smiled softly, rubbing her tummy, "I can't wait to hold him."
       "Hn. Still convinced it's a male?"
      "Yes." the Hassinan grinned.
       "Have you thought of a name yet?"
       "After he's born." Mahrayne frowned. "It's bad luck to name a child before then."
       "Why?"
       "Because you're calling them to you before they're ready."
      Kel's eyebrows lifted, her expression one of utter skepticism, but she didn't say anything.
      Mahrayne hugged her. "Let's get back now, yes?"

Not surprisingly the adults were all awake when she returned, and judging by the varied expressions of delight and relief, they already knew that Leteetza and the babies were fine. All of them were happy - except for Ti'aasaan. No matter how hard the little zn'hre strove to be cheerful, his continuing sadness was evident in the dejected slump of his shoulders. Mahrayne wished with all her heart she could do something to help him.
Kel kissed Mahrayne, then still yawning, waved absently at the rest of the assembled adults before retiring for the night.

"All went well?" Zha'haarak asked Mahrayne with a smile.
       "Very well!" Mahrayne grinned back, hugging herself, unable to contain her happiness. "It was wonderful, I'm so glad Leteetza allowed me to be there."
      The gentle zn'hre brushed a kiss over her cheek.
       "She's very fond of you…" he touched a cool hand to her flushed cheek, "Maybe you should rest now?"
      Mahrayne shook her head. "I couldn't if I wanted to." She looked hopefully at Jeice. "Would you dance with me, please?"
      The hash'shavven grinned; Mahrayne had told him all about the Hassinan custom of celebrating a birth with dancing.
       "It will be my pleasure."
      They cleared a space on the floor, and Jeice put a chip of suitable music into the player, turning the volume down low so it wouldn't disturb the sleeping children. Mahrayne impulsively hugged the little alien and then they danced, gliding around each other, weaving a pattern of joy and welcome for the new cubs - and then, because it was as natural and easy for her as breathing, Mahrayne tranced…

… shimmering threads of gold linked the numerous, glowing presences in the space around them, fine threads spinning off and stretching out to others they sensed in different places. They spun together through the web, basking in the warmth generated by the connections, delighting in the loving strength of the bonds…

"…'rayne?"
      Mahrayne opened her eyes, coming back to herself to see a sleepy 'tiisaan standing at the edge of the dance space - she was also peripherally aware of Jeice nearby, but that everyone else had gone to bed.
      How long had she been trancing for?
      "I'm sorry, jhatiludas, did we wake you?"
      'tiisaan shook his head, stepping forward in to her arms. "No, I woke up by myself," he cuddled into her, "I always know when you're dancing."
      Mahrayne kissed his forehead. "Jeice and I are dancing to celebrate the birth of Leteetza's babies. Will you join us - at least for a little while?"
      The hostling grinned, visibly waking up. "Oh, yes!"
      Mahrayne laughed softly, hugging 'tiisaan again, and then the three dancers celebrated together until the youngest couldn't keep his eyes open any more…

Kelapa hadn't been herself for several days and Mahrayne was quietly concerned. The warrior seemed - withdrawn, and subdued, almost brooding. It had started, the Hassinan realised, the day after the cubs were born. Kel had flown her to the medical centre, and been there during the delivery, but she hadn't gone anywhere near Leteetza. Mahrayne had wondered about her lover's apparent squeamishness when it came to child-birth, and why was she so reluctant to touch the babies once they and their mother returned to the suite? Mahrayne had asked Kelapa about it, naturally, but the warrior had just grunted that she 'didn't like brats'.
       "Maybe this is an overreaction because you want your own child, yes?" Mahrayne had teased her, completely unprepared for the vehemence of Kel's reaction. The Saiyan swore at her, growling that not every female needed a brat to fucking make their lives complete, and then she'd left their room and Mahrayne didn't see her for several hours.
      Kel came back when the suite was quiet and everyone was asleep, except Mahrayne. The Hassinan forced down her trepidation when Kelapa crawled into bed, and snuggled into her back.
      "I'm sorry."
      Kel sighed. "I'm sorry too."
      Mahrayne kissed her lover's shoulder, stroking a hand gently down her arm.
       "What's the matter, jha-tunovahn?"
       "Nothing," Kel mumbled wearily, "'m just tired."
      Mahrayne hazarded a guess that it was more than that, but she kept the thought - and her curiosity - to herself, trying to be content with simply giving her lover her wordless support.

The next day Kelapa had the afternoon off, but she was restless, unable to settle to anything that Mahrayne could tempt her with.
       "I’m going to spar." she said finally, striding out of the suite without a backward glance. The warrior returned a few hours later, sweaty and bloodied but apparently calmer. She allowed Mahrayne to help her shower.
       "Who did you spar with?" Mahrayne asked as she handed her a drying cloth.
       "K'uri."
      Mahrayne nodded and smiled. "I like Kyuri."
       "She wouldn't be interested." Kel said shortly.
       "I don't understand." The Hassinan shook her head in confusion.
       "She won't want to fuck you."
      Mahrayne frowned. "I said I liked her, not that I wanted to sleep with her."
       "There's a difference?" Kel's response was acidic.
       "Yes, actually, there is." Mahrayne snapped, stung. The warrior refused to look at her - Mahrayne was bewildered: what had she done?
       "Tell me what's wrong, please, jha-tunovahn?"
       "Zorun's here." Kelapa's voice was absolutely neutral. Mahrayne glanced out of the balcony door, surprised to see her mate there - she'd forgotten it was his turn with her for the next few nights. Kelapa still refused to meet her eyes, Mahrayne laid her fingertips against the Saiyan's cheek, disconcerted and unhappy when Kel stiffened under her touch. She pulled her hand away, swallowing her anguish.
       "I'll see you tomorrow?"
      Kel shrugged noncommittally and Mahrayne's heart sank.

Zorun picked her up and frowned, worried.
"What's the matter?"
Mahrayne shook her head a little. "I don't know. Nothing, perhaps." She was reluctant to tell her mate about what had been happening with Kel.

She didn't see Kel at the midday meal the next day, or anytime at all over the next three days. Mahrayne's anxiety deepened - how could she resolve any problems if Kel wasn't there to speak with? It was an unnervingly similar situation to her exile on Hassina. Although she didn't say anything to anyone else about it, and worked hard to keep her feelings to herself, the family must have known something was amiss. Mahrayne really wanted to talk to Leteetza, but the little female was so busy juggling her new babies - and their fathers - Mahrayne was loath to trouble her.
However, Kelapa was there the evening Mahrayne came back to the suite, smiling lovingly - to the Hassinan's almost tearful relief. They spent that night, and the next, alone in one of the empty guest suites, pleasuring each other until they couldn't keep their eyes open. Kelapa seemed to be back to herself, and Mahrayne dared to hope that whatever had been bothering the Saiyan was past.

Mahrayne had been watching Jagung since he'd first been assigned as Zha'haarak's guard. The beautiful male fascinated her. Jagung's mane shimmered like Slemmas cloth, his long, slim tail was so expressive, as were his eyes, which were an intriguing, beautiful, shade of grey-green. He moved differently to other Saiyans, freer, more fluid and graceful, and Mahrayne could watch him for hours; she wondered, idly, how he felt about dancing... She was surprised to find Jagung didn't intimidate her as other Saiyans did, nor was she attracted to him sexually: Mahrayne viewed Jagung as she would a piece of exquisite artwork. Merica, on the other hand, was something else. Mahrayne was very attracted to Jagung's bondmate. Like all the other males she was drawn to - Zorun, Radittsu, Vejiita - he was dark-maned, and dark-eyed, and he radiated a luscious sense of strength and power that made her shiver. Mahrayne knew there wasn't a hope in yhallich that anything would ever happen there - even if Merica did think her attractive enough to pursue, her mate and his would take turns killing them both - but on the rare occasions she was completely alone, there was no harm in fantasizing, was there?

Mahrayne spent a few hours every other day tutoring Pirum via the comm link, and her sister always let her know what was going on. None of the news was good this time. Pinguis, the teverdia who had confirmed Mahrayne's pregnancy, who had assisted at Mahrayne's birth, and at the birth of all her siblings, and her father's birth - was ill. It was just age, nothing that could be helped, the teverdia was very, very old. Pinguis spent most of her time asleep, and when she was awake she was rarely lucid, believing herself to be sometime in the past, calling those around her by the names of people long dead. Mahrayne was saddened to hear this, she was fond of Pinguis, not only because the female was loving and compassionate, but because she had been the first of her people to welcome Mahrayne's baby. The loss of the teverdia, and her decades of skill and knowledge, would be a sore lack for the Hassinan. Fortunately, Pinguis had been happy to share her knowledge and her apprentices were numerous and as sought after as she was.
The next piece of news sent a shard of ice through Mahrayne's heart: the ontibu had failed to spawn this year. The reason? The roof over one of the major warm lakes - one of the chain of lakes the massive creatures migrated through yearly - had collapsed, preventing them from reaching their spawning pools. It wasn't just the Hassinan who benefited from the reptiles spawning, the eggs and young sustained a wide variety of animal life; the effects of this disaster would send far-reaching ripples through Hassina's eco-system. No one had been hurt in the collapse, fortunately, and the Effodios were working to try and clear at least some of the waterway so the ontibu could get through next year. One year without the creatures spawning was bad enough, two years would be catastrophic.
There had been other, minor cave-ins as well, though no casualties thankfully, plus an increase in ground tremors, but - Pirum lowered her voice, glancing furtively over her shoulder; she wasn't supposed to know this, obviously - the Council was again making a submission to the Saiya-jin-no-Ou to stop the mining. Outwardly, Mahrayne made encouraging noises, inwardly, she wasn't holding her breath for the King's co-operation.

Mahrayne lay behind Tane, a slim, gold hand fondling the female's tail while she kissed her smooth, sensitive shoulders. They were on the bed in one of the side rooms, watching Jeice fuck Dari. The hash'shavven knelt behind the female, grinning as he expertly teased her with his studded shaft, prolonging her arousal and tantalizingly keeping her from climaxing. Mahrayne chuckled, Tane was gasping and moaning in unconscious empathy with her twin; when Jeice let Dari come, Tane probably would too…
       The Saiyans were sleeping, snuggled contentedly around each other, tails entwined sweetly. Jeice grinned cheekily at Mahrayne from the other side of the twins and once again, the Hassinan found herself wanting him so much she couldn't breathe. Jeice reached over and stroked her cheek, his expression regretful. Mahrayne smiled wanly at him, then closed her eyes, ready for a nap herself.
      "Kel's back." Jeice called to her softly a few minutes later.
      Mahrayne opened her eyes again, but not quickly enough to see the grimace of worry that flicked over his features. Mahrayne struggled off the bed, smiling happily and humming to herself as she quickly, but thoroughly, washed in the room's small shower.
       Kel wasn't there when Mahrayne stepped into the common room. She grinned at Zha'haarak and Ti'aasaan, who were minding Ra'vahn and Za'rayne, and hurried into her room.
       Kel was waiting for her, but - Mahrayne experienced a tremor of disquiet - the warrior's arms were folded tightly across her chest, and her tail, normally flicking lazily from side to side with pleasure when Mahrayne was there, was wrapped close around Kel's strong body.
       "Kel?" Mahrayne stepped towards her, the warrior backed up a step, raising her hands, palms out towards the Hassinan as if warding her off.
       "I can't do this any more, Mahrayne."
       "Kel?" Mahrayne's worry was plain in her voice.
      "I can't… share you anymore - " Kelapa's arms dropped and she hugged herself again, whispering, "It hurts too much."
      And then she was gone, out of the balcony door and into the air before a stunned Mahrayne could speak.

She didn't know how long she stood there, unmoving, unthinking, but then a soft tap on the door shook Mahrayne out of her dumbfoundment. She blinked, her breath quickening - it was Ti'aasaan, she was sure of it, but she didn't want to speak to him or anyone at the moment. Mahrayne looked longingly out of the window, if she could fly she could just go… Instead, she climbed into bed, curling herself up as small as she could, and pretended to be asleep when Ti'aasaan peeked into the room.
"'rayne?"
She didn't respond to the little zn'hre's soft enquiry, so he closed the door, leaving her alone again - and then Mahrayne slept.

It was dusk when she awoke. Mahrayne lay in bed listening to the sounds of the family at the evening meal - a world away. She thought about Kel leaving, and frowned, why wasn't she crying? The hurt was there, and anger, and despair, she just couldn't feel it. Probably a good thing, Mahrayne sighed, if she couldn't feel it then she wouldn't inconvenience the family with her misery or upset her child. There was a knock on her door, and distracted by the quandary, she'd called out 'come in' before she'd remembered she didn't want to talk to anybody.
       It was Leteetza.
       "'rayne, are you all right?"
      Mahrayne sighed, weary again. "Yes, thank you." Leteetza sat beside her on the bed.
       "What happened?"
      "Kel left, she said she couldn't share me any more." Mahrayne swallowed, the hurt was sidling closer to the surface now.
      "Hn. Do you want something to eat?"
      Mahrayne almost laughed: how typically Saiyan, the world may be crashing down around them but they'd deal with the practicalities first.
       "I'm not hungry, thank you."
      The little female frowned. "Ti'aasaan said you haven't eaten anything since the midday meal. You need to eat, 'rayne." She stood up. "I'll get you something."
      Mahrayne considered protesting, but what would have been the point? Leteetza's will was stronger than hers. She nodded dumbly.
       Leteetza returned shortly carrying a tray that held a bowl of seared meat strips, a beaker and a small jug of the meaty glop. She put the tray on the bed next to Mahrayne, then sat down herself. Mahrayne struggled upright awkwardly.
       "I'll be fine, 'teetza, go back to your children." she said softly; Leteetza scowled.
       "I promise I'll eat all of this, yes?" Mahrayne tried for a lightness of tone, failing dismally. The little female nodded slightly, laying her hand gently along the Hassinan's cheek. That simple physical contact did what no amount of mental prodding could do, suddenly cracking open the barrier that separated Mahrayne from the pain and she was crying, weeping heartbrokenly onto her friend's shoulder.
       It was a wonder the contents of the tray hadn't spilled over the bed, Mahrayne thought superfluously as she pulled away from the Saiyan's embrace.
       "Thank you." she whispered shakily. "I'll sleep in one of the spare suites tonight."
      Leteetza gaped.
       "What? Why?!"
       "I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable - "
       "Baka!" Leteetza growled. "You're allowed to feel miserable! We won't mind." The Saiyan said wryly, adding: "And there's no way I'm going to let you be alone tonight!"
      Mahrayne nodded, staring disconsolately at the bed covers.
       "Come on, have something to eat," Leteetza coaxed, "or I'll send Zh'leet in here after you!"
      Mahrayne forced a chuckle then reached for the bowl of meat.
       "I don't know what to do, 'teetza. How do I make things right?" she looked up at the female pleadingly, golden eyes brimming with tears, "Or is it too late?" Her expression hardened even as the tears spilled over. "She said 'yes'! Why did she let her mouth say 'yes' if her heart was saying 'no'?"
       "I don't know," Leteetza sighed, "that's something you're both going to have to work out, ne? Do you want to stay with Zorun tonight?"
      Mahrayne shook her head, she did not want to be with her mate right now, she didn't want to be with anybody, what she wanted was to crawl away into a dark hole somewhere and sleep until the pain stopped. Besides, Zorun could only be pleased with the departure of his rival, and if he gloated Mahrayne would hate him for it – she didn't feel strong enough to deal with that eventuality.
       "Would you like to sleep on the platform with the rest of us?" Leteetza asked her gently. Mahrayne shook her head again. No doubt the family would be quietly supportive and loving, but her miserable presence in their midst would be bound to inhibit them in some way.
       "All right, then." Leteetza smirked, "but don't think for a moment you'll be left alone."
      Mahrayne half-grinned, feeling her spirits rise minimally. 'tiisaan, at least, would be in here at his earliest convenience.

In the end, it wasn't just 'tiisaan who crawled into bed with her - though the little dancer made sure he had the prime position right next to her - but Buahan, 'haavok and 'honee, and surprisingly, Zha'zhasaan and 'miiron. Mahrayne expected to be awake for hours, expected also, her baby to be restless with her distress, but he wasn't. His movements were slow and gentle, soothing her into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Kel sat at the small table in her quarters, picking half-heartedly at the barely touched meal in front of her. A whole day had gone by since she'd walked out on Mahrayne.
      It felt longer…
      She'd come back to the suite mid-afternoon, snatching a few minutes to see her lover as she tended to do. As soon as she stepped in from the balcony she'd scented what was going on in one of the side rooms: Mahrayne, and Jeice, and the fucking twins! Kelapa shuddered with the force of the sudden, fierce surge of homicidal jealousy ripping through her. She turned, and without acknowledging Zha'haarak and Ti'aasaan, stalked into her and Mahrayne's room, and waited.
      It was only a few minutes - the longest minutes of Kelapa's life - but long enough for her to calm down somewhat before Mahrayne bounced happily into their room. The Hassinan was smiling, delighted to see her, her love and joy shining out of her large, golden eyes. Kel's heart twisted in her chest; Mahrayne had never looked so beautiful, and the one clear thought that rose to the surface from the tumult of the Saiyan's emotions was that she realised she couldn't bear the thought of anyone else touching her. Mahrayne's expression had faltered, knowing, instinctively perhaps, that something was wrong, but Kelapa had blurted out the hurt she was feeling, and then fled without giving the alien a chance to speak.
      Kel had spent the night in her quarters, wrapped in a protective numbness that stopped her from thinking too much about what she'd done. The numbness had persisted through most of today, letting her at least get on with the job, but it was dissipating now. Kel sighed, she wasn't sure she'd done the right thing by leaving. But in the interests of self-preservation, what could she do? What would hurt more? Being without her lover, or watching her lover fuck others? Kelapa didn't want to think about it, she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw splashes of colour bursting behind her eyelids…

There was a knock on the door.
Kyuri.
Kel stood up to let the female in, blinking the last of the colour bursts away so she could see properly.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"
       "Hi K'uri, how are you?" Kel mumbled sourly as her superior officer, and occasional lover, pushed past her into the warrior's quarters.
       "Well?" she demanded.
      "Not that it's any of your business - " Kelapa shut the door firmly.
      Kyuri glared at her, then held out an earthenware flagon. Kel grimaced - knowing the red-maned female's tastes this was probably something lethally alcoholic. She jerked her head at the barely rumpled bed then fetched two beakers.

"What happened?"
      The females sat cross-legged on Kel's bed, facing each other. Kel gazed a little fuzzily down into her half-full beaker - the flagon contained a drink that had her gasping for air as it burnt its way down her throat, it was also working its way through her nervous system at an alarming rate...
       "I left her."
       "Why?" Kyuri exclaimed.
       "I couldn't share her anymore, K'uri, it was driving me insane."
       "Zorun?"
       "And the rest!" Kel shoved a hand through her red-brown mane.
      Kyuri frowned. "The rest?"
      Kel took another swig of her drink, having to wait a few seconds before she could speak. "Zorun - fine, he's claimed her, he shouldn't have, but he did. Leteetza - fine. I don't have a problem with her, or even Ti'aasaan, but dammit, K'uri - that should be enough for her, shouldn't it? Why does she have to go hunting elsewhere?"
       "The ki-healers?"
      Kel nodded miserably. "And Jeice - though that happened before she found out she was pregnant, but she still wants him."
       "Is that why you split up the first time?" Kyuri asked gently. Kel nodded again, taking another sip from her beaker.
       "It's not just the fucking… fucking! Though that's bad enough. But... We're hardly ever by ourselves, and everyone else wants a share of her attention. Even when we're in bed there's usually at least one of the brats with us! I don't get her to myself and I-can't-cope-anymore." Kel swallowed the rest of her drink and was silent while her friend refilled her beaker.
       "Mahrayne's not stupid, she knows, surely by now, what Saiya-jin are like -"
       "She knows," Kel said heavily, "but she doesn't understand. She sees nothing wrong with living crammed in with loads of people, it's what she's used to. I've seen the way the Hassinan live." Kel put her hand in front of her face, her palm grazing the tip of her nose. "They're all fucking here, all the time. There's no privacy - it's a fucking nightmare."
       "Maybe you two could move out of the suite?"
      Kel shook her head. "Too late for that and 'rayne would get bored with just me for company."
      Kyuri arched a disbelieving eyebrow at her.
       "Now you're getting maudlin." She cupped Kel's cheek. "I don't think you're giving Mahrayne enough credit. She's crazy about you, baka! And you about her." Kyuri unfolded her long legs, "I've never seen you fall for someone this hard."
       "And look where it got me." Kel muttered into her beaker.
      The tall female stood up. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Kel."
       "She belongs with Zorun anyway, she's his mate, he needs her." Kelapa said grimly, "She's good for him." She smirked, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Have you noticed he's almost been bearable since they got together?"
       "I've noticed," Kyuri mused, "and Mahrayne's been good for you as well. Go and talk to her, Kel, what you two have is too good to throw away without at least trying."
      Kelapa didn't answer and Kyuri shook her head at her friend's morose silence.
      "Right, you're not going to listen to reason," Kyuri walked to the door, "I'll see you tomorrow."
      Kelapa called quietly after her.
       "Can you stay?"
      Kyuri scowled at Kel's half-hearted leer.
       "I shouldn't, it's not me you want to fuck."
      The deputy captain sighed at the pleading in her friend's eyes and walked back towards the bed.

Kyuri woke the next morning with Kelapa's head pillowed on her breast. She smiled wryly; first Hijau, now Kel - she could make a career out of giving comfort fucks to the lovelorn. She shook the short-maned female gently.
       "Wake up, Kel, you're on duty soon."
      Kelapa stirred and groaned. "Do I have to? I feel like shit…"
       "A broken heart - or a hangover - isn't a legitimate injury, you can't claim down-time for it." Kyuri smirked. "But if you like, I could give you a legitimate injury - arm, leg, ribs?" Kelapa groaned again and made the effort to look as if she was waking up. Kyuri slid out of bed and dressed quickly.
       "I'll see you later." She bent down and kissed Kel's cheek. "Talk to her, Kel."
      Kelapa grimaced, ironically saluting her superior officer from the dignified position of flat on her back.
       Kelapa watched Kyuri leave, then closed her eyes, welcoming the headache - it would further distract her from examining her heart.

Life went on, and Mahrayne endured. She was busy enough during the days to push all the misery and uncertainty to the back of her mind, and if by unlucky chance she found herself with a spare moment, she always found something to do with it. The family didn't coddle her, for which she was grateful, and in return she did her best to behave as normally as possible. There was too much to do to indulge in moping, in public anyway. The nights were hard though, but she was gratifyingly never alone. 'tiisaan and Buahan had taken it upon themselves to keep her company, as had Ti'aasaan.
There was comfort for them both in intimacy, and Mahrayne understood that by helping her with her pain, the little zn'hre was finding some measure of relief from his own.

It was five days before Mahrayne could face Zorun. Her mate had shown up on the main balcony every night, his concern for her obvious, but each time she hadn't been willing to do more than exchange a few words with him before retreating into her room.
      It was Hijau who finally pushed her out of the door, figuratively speaking, and into her mate's arms.
       "Zorun knows you're hurt, Mahrayne, he wants to help." The flame-haired captain spoke quietly but urgently to her on the fifth evening as Zorun waited outside. "Don't shut him out."
      Mahrayne nodded, she could see the sense in that even as she rebelled against the thought of sharing something so personal and intimate as her grief, with Zorun. And what if he was dismissive or gloating?
      Her mate was neither of these, as she should have known.
      At the beach that evening, he held her gently while she cried, until Mahrayne - realising how unfair it was to dwell on her problems with her lover while she was with her mate - rallied herself, focusing her full attention on Zorun.
       Except for Kel's absence in the suit during the midday meals, the next few days were – almost – the way they had been before, but the knowledge that the warrior probably wouldn't be waiting for her when she returned left an empty, aching place in Mahrayne's soul she couldn't ignore...