Journeys pt 6

"Good-bye, Mahrayne."
      Dari bent down and kissed the Hassinan on the cheek, the female's long, supple tail brushing briefly down her back. Tane smirked, then did the same before she and her sister left the suite for the afternoon. Mahrayne grinned, watching them leave. The twins were very affectionate - it was nice, reminiscent of the easy-going, friendly relationships she'd had with some of the females on Hassina.
       Mahrayne's grin faded. Even though Kel had given her permission for Mahrayne to play with the healers, she was obviously unhappy about it.
      Kelapa had taken to popping back to the suite for a few minutes unexpectedly when she was supposed to be on duty. Mahrayne couldn’t shake the feeling that the warrior was, even unconsciously, checking up on her. Apart from that first time with Dari and Tane, when Mahrayne had walked out of the guest suite to see Kelapa there amongst the rest of the family preparing for the evening meal, her lover had only chanced upon Mahrayne with Ti'aasaan. That wasn't a problem, Kel didn't seem to mind the little zn'hre - but despite the relatively infrequent opportunities Mahrayne got to sleep with the twins, it was only a matter of time before Kel caught them again. Mahrayne was being very careful though; on the few occasions she'd managed to have sex with the healers, it was always in 'neutral' territory, like the bathroom, or one of the unused side-rooms, never in her and Kel's room, and she made sure she washed away the females' scents from her as thoroughly as she could afterwards. But the Hassinan was uneasy: why had Kel said 'yes' if she didn't really mean it? Mahrayne needed to talk to someone about it.
       Zha'haarak, Jeice, Ti'aasaan and the babies were in the bath, which left Mahrayne and Leteetza in the common room. Maybe 'teetza could help shed some light on Kel's behaviour? The little female was resting on the sleeping platform; Mahrayne approached her cautiously. Leteetza was nearing the end of her pregnancy and her temper was… uncertain nowadays.

"'teetza, may I speak with you?"
      Mahrayne tried not to wince at the 'what now?' expression on her friend's face.
       "It's about Kel."
      Leteetza nodded, and Mahrayne lowered herself, awkwardly, onto the bed.
      The Hassinan took a deep breath. "Why is Kel bothered by me fucking the twins? She wasn't that upset about Pinattsu, and she's not bothered at all by Ti'aasaan, or you."
      The little female sighed - she looked tired, Mahrayne thought.
       "Ti'aasaan's not Saiyan, so he doesn't really count, I think, and Kel knows I'm not likely to steal you away, but the difference between Dari and Tane, and Pinattsu, is that Pinattsu's claimed, and she isn't here. Kel doesn't see her as a threat."
      Mahrayne frowned. "Kel sees the twins as a threat? Why? The relationship I have with them doesn't affect how I feel about her. I'm friendly with them, I love her."
       "The Saiyan possessiveness can make us pretty single-minded."
       "Then why did she say 'yes'?!"
      "Because she loves you and your happiness is important to her."
       "Even at the expense of her own happiness? Her own peace of mind?"
       "I'd say so."
      Mahrayne chewed her lip as she considered this.
       "I suppose," she mused, "if I didn't sleep with anyone else… would that help?"
       Leteetza looked surprised. "You'd consider that? Could you do it?"
       "I'm not completely at the mercy of my libido." Mahrayne smirked, and was pleased to get an answering smirk from her friend.
      Leteetza tilted her head inquiringly.
       "Could you give up Zorun?"
      It was a few seconds before Mahrayne could answer.
       "No." she said in a small voice, feeling tears threaten. The Saiyan watched her, impassively, then she sighed.
       "It probably wouldn’t make any difference anyway. Even if you did only fuck Kel, she'd be troubled by the thought that you might go somewhere else."
      Mahrayne looked at her helplessly.
       "No matter what I do, Kel will always feel threatened."
      Leteetza shrugged. "If it gets too much, you can always separate."
      Mahrayne stared at her, then burst into tears. The little female sighed, reaching out to stroke Mahrayne's arm.
       "I'm sorry, 'rayne, that was supposed to be a joke."
      Mahrayne wiped her eyes. "I can't bear the thought of losing her, 'teetza, I felt like I was dying last time."
      "I know." Leteetza said.
      Mahrayne squeezed the Saiyan's hand. "Thank you for talking to me. I'll leave you to your rest now." she smiled tremulously, and began to stand.
      Leteetza caught her hand. "Why don't you stay here and rest with me, ne?" she grimaced, "then Zh'leet can see we are both following orders."
      Mahrayne smiled tentatively. "She can be a bit dictatorial."
       "A bit?" Leteetza snorted.
      Mahrayne lay down next to her friend, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.
       "Thank you." She said softly.
      Leteetza shrugged, and gave her a tiny smile.
      "Go to sleep, the monsters will be back soon."

There were changes happening within the family's structure: 'viirel had gone with the visitors when they returned to R'ren'nkh'ia – and Jeice, it would seem, was going to be an advisor to the Saiyan Forces when they attempted to liberate his home planet, from the Omanir. That the Empire was heading into conflict had come as something of a disconcerting surprise to Mahrayne. First, that it was happening at all, and second that she'd known nothing about it. The Hassinan didn't think of herself as obtuse, but how had she managed to miss that bit of news? But then, her people weren't aggressive, all the signs may have been there, she just may not have realised what they meant.
And as for 'viirel leaving... Zha'haarak was breaking his heart over losing his hostling, but the gentle zn'hre was determined to not let anything stand in the way of 'viirel's happiness. Mahrayne could empathize with that. She stroked her abdomen lovingly, if it ever came to it, it would be hard to let this one go. 'tiisaan had been given the opportunity to go back to R'ren'nkh'ia as well, but he had – thankfully! – declined. The little dancer said he still had much to learn from Jeice and Mahrayne, which was gratifying, but... did that mean when she was no longer useful to 'tiisaan he would have no compunction about leaving her?
Mahrayne shook herself, such negative thoughts were not helpful to anyone, least of all her child who appeared to react to what she was feeling. It could be coincidence, but he seemed to become agitated when she was tense, and more settled and calm when she was happy. Mahrayne smiled, she and her baby had one thing in common though, they both loved it when she danced, it was soothing for both of them. There had been more than a few nights where she'd danced her child to sleep, ensuring a good night's rest for herself.

Mahrayne cuddled Ti'aasaan to her, stroking his hair as the little zn'hre slid into sleep. She smiled tiredly to herself - making love with Ti'aasaan was always a treat, but recently it had felt just a little bit wrong. Mahrayne thought she'd worked out what it was. There was a cloud of desperation around the little zn'hre when they made love and Mahrayne got the impression he was trying to use the sex to smother something else. Mahrayne's heart went out to him; she'd done similar in the past, immersing herself in fucking to block the heartache of Genesia's death, trying to exhaust herself to the point of unconsciousness in an effort to escape the pain. It hadn't worked for her then, it probably wasn't working for Ti'aasaan now. Mahrayne brushed a kiss over the top of his head; the little zn'hre wasn't happy, hadn't been for a while, and he was trying so hard not to show it. When she'd asked Zha'haarak about it, the prince had as good as told her to mind her own business - but it was difficult. Yes, she was burning to know the cause of Ti'aasaan's misery, but she also cared deeply about him and it bothered her that she couldn't help, that she wouldn't be allowed to help. 'Family business - private' Zha'haarak had told her, reminding her again that no matter how close she was to the family, she was not part of it, not really. For the first time since deciding to stay on Vejiitasei as tutor, Mahrayne wondered if maybe she and Kelapa should move out of the suite…

The afternoon was sunny and warm, and Dignusia and Peruro sat with Mahrayne on her balcony. The pair of them came to visit Mahrayne whenever they could, or she went to see them - it was comforting for the communal Hassinan to be with each other. Mahrayne was always happy to see them, she enjoyed the younger females' company, and speaking her native language again.
      Dignusia was delighting in her apprenticeship and Peruro was steadily building a diverse clientele from among the alien, and native, population. They'd both settled in very well, better than they'd anticipated, and while they missed some aspects of life on Hassina, Vejiitasei had definite compensations. It had taken them a little while to get used to the open sky, but once they had, they spent as much time as they could outside.
      Mahrayne sighed happily and cracked open another preserved ontibu egg, plucking out the greyish, rubbery spawn and biting into it with relish. Dignusia and Peruro's family had sent them some Hassinan delicacies, and they were sharing them now with Mahrayne. Peruro grinned at her, and poured another round of voi-inat from the bulbous, pale green bottle. Mahrayne hastily swallowed her mouthful of ontibu so she could pick up her small beaker at the same time as the other two females - it wouldn't do to be left behind in the drinking.
      Peruro smirked.
       "Family - health - abundance!" she said, then the three of them downed the cold burning liqueur together. Mahrayne gasped, and giggled - she'd forgotten how much of a kick voi-inat had. Dignusia was giggling as well, and leaning against her lover, smiling dopily. Mahrayne grinned; Dignusia had always had less tolerance for the potent Hassinan liqueurs than anyone else she knew.
       "I need some advice, Mahrayne." Peruro was, as ever, direct.
       "If I can help, certainly."
      The young female looked - nervous?
       "I'm interested in a male."
      Mahrayne blinked, then smirked.
       "Who?"
       "Zyelenyi, the one from the diplomatic corps."
      Mahrayne squealed and laughed delightedly.
       "I knew it! I saw the way you were looking at each other at the spaceport!"
      Peruro flushed.
       "It's not funny!" she said huffily.
       "I'm not laughing because I think it's funny," Mahrayne protested, "I'm just happy to hear it."
       "The thing is," Dignusia said, stroking her lover's thigh, "Per's a bit nervous."
      "I am." Peruro was rueful, "I know how to get a male erect, that's part of my job after all, but then what?" She shrugged helplessly.
      "The first thing you must understand," Mahrayne was serious now, "and you must make sure that Zyelenyi understands this too, is that he will be much stronger than you. He could hurt you without meaning to." Peruro nodded. "And your first time with him, make sure he understands that it's your first time, he will need to go slowly with you, especially if he's - um - well endowed."
      Peruro was thoughtful.
       "He's nowhere near as big as Radittsu - closer to the red-haired one."
       "How do you know?" Mahrayne was curious. Peruro grinned mischievously.
       "I set some penis beads for him a little while ago."
      Mahrayne smirked. "Ah." She turned to Dignusia.
       "Are you interested in him as well?"
      Dignusia shook her head. "No, but Per would like me to be there."
       "Right, you'll need to make sure he knows you don't want to have sex with him, before you start." She grinned. "Saiyans tend to get very… focused when they're aroused, if you're there he may assume you want him to fuck you also."
      The younger females shared a worried look. Mahrayne smiled.
       "Now for the fun part…"
       Mahrayne told them about the Saiyan tail, how sensitive it was, what to do with it, and what Zyelenyi would most likely do with it. She told them about that delicious little internal spot related to the tail and how to reach it, and then she told them the sort of things Zorun liked, and what she liked him to do for her, and finally, what she'd observed Radittsu, Hijau and their partners do for each other. Peruro and Dignusia were wide-eyed and open mouthed by the end of it.
       "That's quite a lot…" Peruro said faintly.
      Mahrayne laughed.
       "You don't have to remember it all at once. Take your time with him, explore, learn, enjoy." She frowned, "and if he wants to 'claim' you - bite you, hard - here," she pointed to her own scar, "don't let him, unless you are happy with him being the only male you can have sex with, ever." At the females' questioning looks, Mahrayne explained what she knew about claiming.
      Peruro looked alarmed. "Is that what happened to you?"
      Mahrayne grimaced. "Yes. Zorun wanted to claim me when he found out I was pregnant. I refused, but the night before I was due to return to Hassina he… lost control of himself and claimed me anyway."
      Dignusia was horrified. "Against your wishes?"
       "At the time, yes; I was furious." Mahrayne's face softened into a smile. "I feel differently about it now. For a Saiyan, claiming someone can be the most loving, intimate thing they can do for that person. It's not to be gone into lightly."
       "Well I have no desire for a permanent mating." Peruro said firmly. Dignusia nodded agreement.
       "That reminds me," Mahrayne said, "there's a high probability that you will get pregnant with Zyelenyi -" she grinned at Peruro's appalled stare, "- we'd better go and talk to the medics about contraception before you do anything…"

The following day Mahrayne - carried by Kelapa - met Dignusia and Peruro at the medical centre, where, to Mahrayne's ill-concealed annoyance, it was Vinas who insisted on talking to the young Hassinan. The bio-tech got their medical histories, and took blood and tissue samples from them both. Then he told them that it would be best if he conferred with the G'geckans on the matter. Which meant - Mahrayne scowled silently - that he didn't have a clue. But within a couple of days Vinas had synthesized a Hassinan-specific contraceptive that could be administered as an implant in the females' pelvis. The dose would last, he said, about half a year before it needed to be renewed. The biotech also expressed his surprise that the G'geckans had come up with the formula so quickly: it was almost as if they had the details ready to go.
Dignusia elected to have the implant as well. As she said, she didn't want to have a male partner just yet, but she might change her mind and she preferred to be prepared. After the simple operation, Mahrayne spoke to the females, making Peruro promise to tell her everything that happened with Zyelenyi.

Zorun dropped her back at the suite early in the morning.
      "I'll think about what you said." The big male stroked her cheek and half-smiled. "Even if I decide against it, I have no objections to you doing it."
      "And no objections to who I've chosen?" Mahrayne said hopefully.
      He shook his head, and Mahrayne beamed at her mate, cuddling into him.
       "Thank you!"
      Zorun wrapped his arms around her, and briefly rested his chin on the top of her head.
       "I'll see you soon." he said, stepping away from her.

It was a good morning for Mahrayne, she felt buoyant, and bright, her happiness spilling over.
       "You're in a good mood." Kel smirked as she welcomed her lover back with a kiss. Mahrayne said nothing, simply kissing the warrior in return, nipping at her lips.
      Kelapa's grip tightened as Mahrayne melted into her.
       "I'm on duty in about two minutes," Kel pointed out huskily.
      Mahrayne feathered kisses along her cheek.
       "Maybe the Captain will let you stretch that to five minutes if you ask him nicely." She breathed into the warrior's ear. There was a wry chuckle from across the room.
       "Make it ten." Hijau said generously.
      Mahrayne grinned over her shoulder at the flame-haired male before almost shoving Kel into their room.

"Why are you so cuddly today?" Kelapa said a few minutes later after she'd got her breath back.
      Mahrayne blinked.
       "I'm no cuddlier than usual, am I?"
      "You are!" Kel smirked, "You're radiating cuddliness."
      "Interesting," Mahrayne said, snuggling closer to the Saiyan. "This isn't supposed to happen for a while yet."
       "What isn't?"
      "Our females start feeling very… affectionate towards the end of their pregnancies. It's a way of - I don't know - shoring up the emotional bonds with the other females that will be supporting her."
      Kel looked alarmed.
       "But - you're not near the end, are you? Unless the estimates are wrong?"
      Mahrayne shrugged. "No, I've at least a hundred and fifty days to go, but this isn't a standard pregnancy, I'm not surprised things aren't happening when they're supposed to."
       "Oh. Good. So you're not going to drop the brat any minute now?"
       "No." Mahrayne chuckled at Kelapa's relief. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get plenty of warning…"

Much later that day Mahrayne asked Leteetza, Kelapa and 'tiisaan if she could speak with them privately. The four of them sat on her and Kel's bed, 'tiisaan cuddled into the Hassinan's side, Kelapa and Leteetza sitting close by.
       "I have something to ask of you." Mahrayne smiled round at them: Kel looked apprehensive, while Leteetza and 'tiisaan simply looked curious.
       "Do you remember I told you something of the 'naming' ceremonies we have for our children?" At the affirming nods, Mahrayne continued. "There is another, more important aspect of the rite that I didn't mention, and that is the 'name-parents'."
       "Who are they?" Leteetza, of course.
       "People who have been chosen by the birth parents to be a kind of mentor, a guardian to the child, someone the birth parents feel they can trust their child to." Mahrayne smiled shyly at the aliens. "I would like you three to be name-parents to my son." Before they could answer, Mahrayne added, "Normally the name-parents are asked after the child is born, but as you're not familiar with the custom I thought it best to give you some time to think about it."
       "What does it involve?" Leteetza asked.
       "The ceremony itself is very simple, the mother, or father depending on the sex of the child, hands the baby around to the name parents, who say the child's name while they place its feet in contact with the ground."
       "And after?"
       "It's a life-long commitment to watch over and care for the child." Mahrayne said solemnly, "It is a responsibility, and I'll understand if you decline."
      'tiisaan shook his head firmly. "I don’t need to think about it, 'rayne, I'm honoured you've asked me, and I'll be honoured to accept." Mahrayne grinned down at her student, hugging him to her.
       "It might be prudent to discuss this with your maazi and papa first," Leteetza warned the little dancer.
       "Does Zorun know about this?" Kelapa asked, Mahrayne nodded. "And does he know who you're asking to be name parents?"
       "He does, and he accepts my choice." Mahrayne stated calmly. "I discussed this with him last night."
       "You said both parents choose?" Leteetza tilted her head enquiringly.
       "Yes, the mother chooses the females, the father chooses the males. Traditionally, daughters have more female name-parents than males, as sons have more male name-parents than females," she stroked her belly, "but he will be growing up in a mixed sex society so I can't see any reason to slavishly follow the traditions."
       "Will Zorun be choosing as well?" Kelapa sounded wary.
       "I've left it for him to decide," Mahrayne said, "but I'd like him to."
       Leteetza smirked. "Who are your name-parents?"
       "Nonnia, Licium - who was my eldest sister, Genesia - who was another of my father's females, and Marldus."
      The little female stared at her.
       "The Lead Speaker is one of your name-parents?"
      Mahrayne grinned. "He and my father are close friends. And I'm not unique - Marldus is a name-parent to all of Astolan's children, and probably hundreds more besides. It's thought to be a good luck for a child to have influential name-parents."
       "How many name-parents can a child have?"
      Mahrayne shrugged. "As many as the parents wish, though it's unusual for there to be less than three in total."
      There was silence for a short while, then Kelapa spoke.
      "I'm pleased you've asked me, takibi, but I'll need to think about it." Her tail stroked apologetically over Mahrayne's thighs.
       "Me too," Leteetza said, then she smirked. "It'll be interesting seeing if and who Zorun chooses."
      Kelapa snorted. "Hn. He doesn't have any friends - that are still alive anyway - and I can't imagine there's anybody he'd trust with his brat."
       "I hope he does ask someone," Mahrayne said wistfully, "it would make things feel more - complete."

Mahrayne was quietly thrilled: Leteetza had said she could attend the birth of her children, but it had made the Hassinan think...
      She hadn't really given any thought to the birth of her own child. Certainly, she was loving being pregnant, and she couldn't wait to hold her child in her arms, but of the birth itself she had only the haziest notion of what to expect, or even what she wanted. Mahrayne had attended dozens of births on her homeworld, even females she wasn't especially close to liked to have her around when their babies were due, but unlike Saiyan births - Leteetza had told her there was generally only one other female in attendance - births on Hassina were communal affairs. A Hassinan female would go into one of the hot baths with a teverdia and as many of her relatives and friends as she wanted. If Mahrayne's baby was being born on Hassina she would have Nonnia and Pirum with her, probably her mother and the other six of Astolan's females as well, plus Chumie and Testa would travel back from their household to be there.
      But her baby was going to be born on Vejiitasei. What was she expecting here? Who would she like to attend her? Kelapa, of course - though she knew the warrior was uneasy about it - Leteetza, Peruro and Dignusia, possibly Ti'aasaan and Zha'haarak, and any of the children who wanted to witness it as well.
      Would Zorun want to be there?
      Maybe not. Leteetza had said a Saiyan father was rarely present for the birth. Which was a relief, Mahrayne had to admit, she wasn't comfortable with the idea of her mate being there; birthing was definitely a female activity.

But as it turned out, Mahrayne's musings on her own confinement would have to wait - the onset of Leteetza's labour during the evening meal abruptly shunted her thoughts from herself to the little female.
As Kel flew her to the medical centre to be with Leteetza, Mahrayne's heart sang with the familiar euphoria that a birthing gave her, sweetened this time with the knowledge that soon she would be experiencing it as well…