Drift

Ry could *feel* his zk'iinan. 'lestrel was aching, yearning for him, but trying not to let it interfere - with Lutra's peace of mind, with the uncertainty of 'raadiin's health and everyone's concern over the warrior-prince… with anything, in fact.
      But he'd missed his hostlings' sire, desperately. Ry unconsciously picked up speed, heading straight for the palace through the flurrying snow.
      The prince was standing inside the balcony door, waiting, tense, the tip of his tail lashing. As Ry entered he could scent A'lestrel's need - felt it himself, wanted nothing more than to drag the prince into his arms, into a side room, and make love until they both dropped exhausted… But Lutra was here, and he would not upset her…
      'lestrel was pale with the effort of not flinging himself into the Saiyan's arms. He managed a smile.
      "Ry… I am glad you're back. How is 'raadiin?"
      Ry swallowed, his throat dry, forcing himself not to reach for the prince.
      "We don't know yet…"
      Lutra was watching them, aware of the tension. She wrapped her arms around her bondmate from behind, stretching up to nuzzle his neck.
      *I'm going to leave you two now. I'll be back later.*
      He twisted to pull her into his arms, eyes dismayed.
      *Zk'aida… You don't have to go…*
      She shook her head.
      *Yes, I do.* She glared at Ry over 'lestrel's shoulder, then sighed and closed her eyes. *Do what you must, hab'lan.*
      *Beloved…*
      She pulled reluctantly away and stepped out onto the balcony, taking off in a flurry of soft white feathers. Ry turned to watch her for a moment - then grabbed the prince to him, holding him tightly, trembling, raining kisses over his face and throat.
      *GODS, aijin… I've missed you…*
      So inadequate, the phrase - but the deep feeling that went with it made it more than meaningful…
      'lestrel was shaking helplessly. Ry swept the prince up into his arms and carried him through to their room.

It'd been far too long since she'd flown – the overwhelming need to eat and sleep had taken precedence over practically everything else for the past twenty days – and Lutra was finding the effort of staying aloft in the chill, sharp winds more tiring than she'd imagined. Mikan flew with her, watching the tenshi circle around and around and around, alternately fighting or riding the gusting air currents high above the open plain. The Saiyan wasn't surprised Lutra was out here, not with Ry having only just returned to the palace – and A'lestrel. Of course she wouldn't want to witness their reunion but... Mikan frowned, carefully scenting the tenshi; maybe this was wishful thinking but there didn't seem to be quite the same murderous edge to Lutra's agitation. She was still upset, furious that Ry had to be there at all, but underpinning it all was… resignation? The guard scowled suddenly – Lutra was tiring but she doubted the baka alien would think to stop and rest.
       "Lu-chan!" Mikan made herself heard over the wind. "Come and eat."
       The tenshi hovered in mid-air for several seconds then nodded and obediently followed her guard down to the ground.
      In the shelter provided by a stand of scrubby trees, Mikan cracked open the portable food container Zh'leet had hurriedly provided. She peered inside, grinning broadly.
       "Gotta hand it to the old lizard, she's good with food!" The guard pulled out a smaller container packed solid with meat strips, peeled back the lid then offered it to Lutra. The tenshi took only one small piece, nibbling on it absently while she stared off into the distance.
       "I thought you'd be starving," Mikan gently prompted, concerned by her friend's distraction.
       "No," Lutra sighed, "that phase is well and truly over." She favoured the Guard with a small smile. "I only have to eat enough now to stay alive, my child has all he needs."
       Not sure if she was taking a liberty or not, Mikan gently circled the tip of her tail over Lutra's abdomen.
      "Is this really as big as you're going to get?" The tenshi was noticeably gravid but still only the equivalent of about half-way through a Saiya-jin pregnancy. Lutra nodded, her expression turning soft and warm, then she sighed again.
       "What's the matter, hina?" Mikan stroked the tenshi's cheek with the back of her fingers.
       "He looked at Ry the way he looks at me." Lutra bit her lip. "I don't know what to do."
       "It's not the same."
       "Isn't it?" the tenshi stared at the ground. "I can't tell the difference."
      Mikan thought for a moment, wondering how best to explain it. She stroked Lutra's hair: best to keep it simple right now, not try to go into the different sorts of bonding that were possible within the family.
      "Hina, his highness has bonded to you - not to Ry. Ry's sired his hostlings, yes, and both he and they need Ry, to keep them healthy, and of course 'lestrel feels a lot for his aijin. But you are his bondmate. You take precedence."
      Lutra unconsciously leant into the reassurance of the Saiyan's touch. She wanted to believe Mikan, knew what the female was saying was the truth, but there was still a distressing emptiness whenever she observed her hab'lan and the big guard together. It felt like – like she was excluded from that part of 'lestrel's life, his hostlings and their sire: it was like her hab'lan had two families and there was nothing to connect them.
      Mikan frowned, scenting the tenshi's… loneliness came closest, like a… a little brat who'd lost her parents. She wrapped an arm over Lutra's shoulders, hugging her.
      "Lu-chan, please don't hit me, but have you thought about trying to get to know Ry better? He's going to be a part of 'lestrel's life - and the hostlings' - for the foreseeable future…"
      Lutra tensed, her instinctive response to the suggestion making her clench her hands into fists. A'lestrel was hers, she wasn't going to share him! But... He wasn't just hers, if he ever had been. There were his hostlings to consider now, and their sire, she couldn't force them out of her hab'lan's life. Lutra relaxed minutely – at least she liked Ry...
      Relieved - it looked as though she wasn't going to have to defend herself against an enraged Lutra - Mikan relaxed a little. The tenshi's scent had changed. She didn't like the idea - but she was considering it. The Saiyan risked another comment, murmured quietly.
      "It would make 'lestrel happier, too, you know - knowing he didn't have to keep the two parts of his life separate…"
      Lutra absently chewed a fingernail as she contemplated the idea. Mikan had made a very good point – 'lestrel was under enough stress as it was and anything that helped minimise that could only be a good thing. As for her own feelings? The tenshi thought back to the occasions between her breeding cycles when Ry had joined them. It hadn't been all that bad, had it? Her hab'lan had obviously enjoyed – no, loved – having them both there. And... and if Ry was with them all the time, she wouldn't have to watch her hab'lan leave. Lutra sighed and cuddled into Mikan's side – maybe she should speak to A'lestrel about it...

'lestrel's hands were shaking too much for him to pull off his bodysuit: Ry eased it from his cool body, kissing the smooth blue skin as it was revealed, kneeling to nuzzle his belly, *feeling* the two little sparks of ki, his children, his heart full as he rubbed his cheek against his zk'iinan. 'lestrel's hands clenched in his mane, inkei already swollen and throbbing.
      *Aijin… I need you… the hostlings need you…*
      Ry stood and swiftly stripped, lifting the prince and settling him on the bed, sliding effortlessly into a quivering chitsu and shifting: 'lestrel double-climaxed almost immediately, whimpering, head flung back, eyes closed. Ry suckled on the cool neck as he began to thrust, coming quickly, sighing contentedly. Then starting again…
      A'lestrel had stopped shaking by the time Ry had come three times, his body absorbing the much-needed, much-missed protein, relaxing, calming. He moaned very quietly and pulled the Saiyan tightly to him.
      *Thank you…*
      Ry brushed a kiss over his mouth, then rolled so the prince was on top of his broad warm body.
      *Aijin… Feel better?*
      The Zasshu nodded, pulling himself up to straddle Ry's groin and rocking his hips gently, tail twined with the Saiyan's. Ry wrapped a big hand around his newly-erect inkei, squeezing firmly.
      *Good.*
      A'lestrel rested long elegant hands on the broad chest below him and gazed down, eyes sombre.
      *It's different. Ti'aasaan has been wonderful - as have 'reysu and 'leesaan, when Ti'a-chan was too tired - and the hostlings are thriving, but… I needed you…*
      An interesting - if slightly worrying - symptom. Although since this had never happened before, they couldn't tell if it was unusual or not. After all, normally host and sire would be either bonded or partnered: this sort of separation would not be an issue.
      *Have you told Vinas?*
      *No - not yet. I wasn't sure… I am now. I will speak with him as soon as I can.*
      Ry stroked his mane, breathing in his unique, much-loved scent.
      *Lutra won't like it.*
      *No. But she accepts what is necessary.*
      The Saiyan frowned and pulled the prince to him. That was all very well, but this situation was just going to become more and more uncomfortable. If 'lestrel physically needed him, rather than anyone else, it could make the atmosphere in the suite very tense…
      'lestrel lay forwards, nestling against his Saiyan, *feeling* suddenly - miserable? Ry held him tightly.
      *What's wrong?*
      The prince shook his head, not answering. Ry scowled and rolled onto his side, pushing the Zasshu back far enough to look into his face.
      *You'll have to tell me, you know that.*
      A'lestrel bit his lip, forcing back tears.
      *I know… I had hoped I could deal with it by myself…*
      His *voice* tailed off, and Ry sighed in exasperation.
      *C'mon aijin. Keeping it to yourself isn't going to do anyone any good.*
      The prince nodded and twisted slightly to rest his forehead against a broad warm shoulder.
      *I feel… torn. No matter what I do, I hurt either you or Lutra. She is my bondmate - but I need you. And that distresses her.* He sighed unhappily. *And it's not fair to you, having to keep your distance so as not to upset her. I want you to share in the hostlings' lives. I want them to know you as their sire, for you to be there, a constant feature. But I don't want Lutra to feel - excluded. We, our hostlings, will be a family. I want you to be part of that family. Somehow.*
      Ry stroked his Zasshu's mane, unable to offer any solutions and almost afraid to comment. He wanted with all his heart to share the family's life. The thought of holding his sirelings, helping care for them, watching them grow, training them when they were old enough, sent a thrill through him. The thought of seeing them interact with 'lestrel's own sireling was exciting. Lutra would probably be horrified if she knew, but Ry felt almost paternal towards her own hostling, simply because his Zasshu had sired it.
      If only the tenshi weren't so possessive…
      But he couldn't really object. After all, the Saiya-jin weren't exactly renowned for their permissive natures. At least, those who weren't involved with R'ren'nkh'ia-jin or hybrids weren't…
      This wasn't helpful. He kissed 'lestrel's mane.
      *Aijin, I don't want to cause any problems…*
      The prince sighed.
      *I know. It's my problem, zk'vissin. But I don't know how to solve it.*
      *What do you want to do?*
      *I have - we have - no real choice at the moment. We will have to continue as we are. If we can arrange a time to be together each day - and I do need you, each day - it might be enough. For a time.*
      Ry cuddled around the prince's tense body, heart aching at the weary hopelessness in his aijin's *voice*. This should be a joyous time - and yes, A'lestrel was delighted to be both host and sire, delighted with his bondmate and their bond, satisfied, if occasionally frustrated, with his work with the corps - but the stress… Ry wished he could do something more to help.
      'lestrel hips were rocking against him, the prince aroused again. Ry kissed him, rolling onto his back again, tail wrapping his Zasshu's erection. This at least he could do, easing the physical strain, helping both his aijin and his children…

"He's sleeping."
      Mikan glanced at the tenshi.
      "A'lestrel?"
      Lutra nodded.
      "They've finished for now. He feels… calmer. And he's sleeping." She glanced at the Saiyan, eyes forlorn. "We can go back now."
      Mikan wasn't unhappy at the thought - it was getting colder as the day advanced. And she was hungry…
      They landed on the balcony in the fading light, and Mikan frowned as Lutra took a deep breath and straightened her wings. Glancing at the Saiyan, she gave a wry half-grin.
      "Wish me luck…"
      "What are you going to do?"
      "I'm… not entirely sure…"
      And Mikan watched as the tenshi entered and headed for Ry's room…

A'lestrel jerked awake as the door opened, eyes widening at the sight of his bondmate. He must have been more tired than he'd thought: he'd not been aware of her arrival… He squirmed out of Ry's embrace and slid from the bed.
      To halt as Lutra shook her head firmly.
      *No, hab'lan. Get back in.*
      *… zk'aida…?*
      *Please. Get back into bed. You're still tired.*
      Ry sighed and nestled into his aijin's back as A'lestrel slid back under the furs - then woke abruptly, Lutra's scent slapping him to consciousness.
      "Ah… Lutra-sama…"
      "It's all right Ry. May… may I join you?"
      The Saiyan blinked, then flung back the fur.
      "Of course, if you'd like to…"
      She quickly and a little shyly stripped off her bodysuit - touched in spite of herself by Ry's averted eyes - and slid into the bed, nestling close to her bondmate, kissing his cheek.
      *Hab'lan…* Lutra mentally took a deep breath - there was no easy way to express this. *I think... I'd like... I think it would be better for all of us if Ry shared our room.*
       *Zk'aida?* the hope, the joy in his *voice* uplifted her spirit yet twisted her heart.
       *I - * the tenshi buried her face in the Zasshu's neck. *I love you so much, hab'lan - * all of her longing and agitation and fear and love poured out, marking Lutra's scent and *thoughts*, * - I have to share you, I don't want to but I have to. You are everything to me, zk'aida, you must be happy.*
      He stared at her, golden eyes filling with tears.
      *You would do this for me, beloved?*
      *For you, for me, for our children.* Lutra's smile was tremulous. *Even for Ry.*
      Wordlessly he pulled her into his arms, face buried in her hair.
      *Thank you… Thank you, beloved…*
      Ry touched his shoulder fleetingly.
      *Aijin…?*
      'lestrel's tail unwrapped from Lutra's waist and stroked Ry's gently.
      *Lutra has said… will you stay with us? Move into our rooms?*
      Ry froze.
      *Nani?*
       *Will you? At least until the hostlings are born?*
      The Saiyan lifted his head to gaze at the tenshi over the prince's shoulder, eyes wide with shock. Lutra offered a small smirk and a little nod. He sighed, eyes closing with relief, then smiled tentatively.
      "Thank you, Lutra-sama. I know how difficult this is for you. I'll do my best not to get in the way…"
      "Just – " Lutra frowned slightly, "I don't want you to feel like you're here on sufferance, Ry, you're... family."
      He very gently, very tentatively touched her face.
      "I'm... honoured."
      She smiled, shyly…

*Thank you, zk'aida.*
      Ry had left to visit 'raadiin at the medcentre: 'lestrel and Lutra had returned to their rooms - to make love, much to Lutra's joy. Her Zasshu had been loving and ardent, caressing and fondling her, kissing her warm body and nuzzling her swollen belly delightedly. Relaxed and happy as he hadn't been since before this had all started. It almost made the sacrifice worth it, the tenshi decided distantly as her Zasshu pounded into her again, sparking her fourth climax as he came himself, trembling against her and sighing blissfully.
      She kissed him, tenderly.
      *Hab'lan…*
      He nuzzled her neck and held her tightly.
      *We'll move into bigger rooms.*
      She blinked at the change of subject - then smiled. Yes, that was a good idea. New rooms, more space for the three of them - well, the six of them when the hostlings were born - no memories…
      *When, hab'lan?*
      He pulled her upright.
      *Why not now? Then it will be ready when Ry comes back…*
      And we'll have time to make love, to make it ours, as well…Lutra hugged her bondmate tightly. Everything was going to be all right. She bit her lip, repeating the phrase, reassuring herself. Of course it would be. 'lestrel wouldn't allow for anything else.

Kiraz was sitting with 'raadiin when Ry arrived at the medcentre. The zn'hre was drifting in and out of consciousness, his temperature raised as he fought infection and injury. The prince glanced up as Ry entered, grimacing.
      "He doesn't want to speak to me."
      Ry settled himself on the bed and stroked short tendrils of emerald hair back from the hot forehead.
      "I don't think he wants to speak to anyone at the moment… He hates himself, Kiraz."
      The prince snorted.
      "Baka. It wasn't his fault."
      Ry shook his head.
      "I know that. But…" He *focussed*, trying to follow the mess of hazy images and half-seen memories in 'raadiin's mind. "He thinks it is… Heh, we need Ti'ani to make sense of this. Best I can tell, he was careless… But he had no reason to think anyone meant him harm."
      Kiraz growled quietly, taking the zn'hre's limp hand.
      "Poor little hebi. Pain in the arse as he is, no-one should have to go through that."
      'raadiin's eyes trembled open: he stared around wildly and wrenched his hand weakly from the Saiyan's grasp.
      "… no… no…"
      Ry laid a hand very gently on his shoulder.
      "Aijin… it's all right. It's just us. Kiraz and me. You know us, hoseki…"
      'raadiin stopped trying to flinch away, lying trembling instead, breath coming in uneven gasps. His eyes drifted closed again, and Ry looked up at Vinas.
      "Is he going to be all right?"
      Vinas looked troubled.
      "We have monitored him closely, and some of the readings are - anomalous. I believe that residual radiation is affecting him but haven't been able to confirm it yet."
      Ry went cold. No. Not 'raadiin. Not his aijin… He clenched his fists helplessly.
      "What are you doing to make it right?"
      Vinas lowered his eyes.
      "I can do nothing until I know exactly what is causing the damage. We are working on it." He gazed at the suffering zn'hre. "Trust me, Ry-san, we will not give up. It is just a pity his ki is so low…"
      Ry took a limp blue hand, holding it tightly. Stay with me, aijin. Stay with me. I can't lose you…