Loan pt 4 "So who won?" Devon grinned. "Ah. Do I really need to ask?" Trey looked positively sullen, while Stephan was smirking in a manner I knew my partner would find intensely annoying...
We had arrived at 8.30 as agreed, and Stephan had led Trey off to the shooting range as I made my way to de Winter's office. She had been gracious, and accommodating, permitting me to use her secure cam-line to report back to Black, my immediate superior in the Force. He had not been happy to hear that we would have to stay in England for longer than expected, but accepted the necessity. As I ended the call de Winter, who had busied herself in her secretary's small office next door, re-entered the room with a large mug of coffee for me.
"It's good of you to volunteer to help out."
I sipped the - very good - coffee.
"We all wish to resolve the case. If our skills can assist, then it is only proper that they are made available to you."
de Winter chuckled.
"And you are a very proper young man. I don't think your partner feels the same way!"
I smiled.
"Trey is... uncomfortable outside of his native land."
She nodded.
"Are you?"
I blinked, then shook my head.
"I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world."
"Very commendable. Now, what can we do to help?"I had lost track of time, sitting at John's desk, intent on the information before me, cross-referencing and hunting far off the normal paths of such enquiries. I found news articles from Europe that might have a bearing on the subject, articles couched in what almost amounted to code, advertisements, comments in letters... Were pet owners and potential pet owners communicating this way? Or was I being paranoid? I'd need to discuss it, later, with Trey, and with Lenore...
"You hungry?"
I jumped, startled, and Devon grinned apologetically.
"It's lunch time. Wombat said you'd been here since first thing and told me to drag you off to eat."
I frowned.
"Wombat?"
"Wilma. de Winter. S'her nickname."
"Ah... yes, I am a little hungry."
"C'mon then!"
I reached for my jacket, but he grabbed my wrist.
"You don't need that - it's warm in here."
I would have protested, but he tugged me towards the door, and I did not wish to seem churlish... Five minutes later he led me to a window table in the restaurant, handed me a menu, then rested his chin in his hands, regarding me as I decided what to eat.
"What's it like, being in the IATF?"
I blinked, then considered the question.
"It is always interesting. Often hard. Sometimes satisfying." I ordered gravlax with tiny new potatoes and mange-tout from the smiling waitress hovering discreetly at the side of the table: Devon opted for lasagne. As we waited for the meals to be brought, he leaned forwards purposefully.
"Can I be blunt?" Before I could answer he chuckled self-deprecatingly. "Like I know any other way to be!"
I smiled. I rather liked this young man.
"I do not mind. As long as you do not take offence if I choose not to answer."
"Course not!" He grinned. "I was wondering about you and Trey. Been together long?"
"Three years and four months. And seventeen days."
Devon laughed.
"You got a calculator for a brain? That's fuckin' amazing!"
I smiled wryly.
"I have enjoyed it - mostly."
"That's good. How long've you been fuckin' each other?"
I could feel the smile freeze on my face, a coldness gather in my gut, and Devon grimaced.
"Sorry. That was rude. I know you don't want anyone to know."
"I..." I wasn't at all certain of what to say. Devon gripped my forearm.
"Hey, I'm sorry. It's just that it's pretty fucking obvious your Yank adores you. Maybe things are different where you're from, but over here, we don't mind so much. Me and Stephan are... lovers, god what a wimpy name for it!" He sighed and frowned. "Took me a while to realise how important he is to me, an' now I want everyone else to be happy too. D'you love him?"
I wanted so much to say yes, to admit it to this vibrant little person, and it hurt me to find I couldn't. His eyes were sympathetic as I lowered my gaze, for once grateful for the long fringe that hid my threatening tears.
"It's OK, 'lexei. You don't have to do or say anythin' you don't want to..." He chuckled, his regard sliding to the restaurant entrance: I followed his gaze to see Trey and Stephan enter. "Heh, looks like they finally finished being macho!"*You don't have to do this.*
Razor hugged her lover, strong arms comforting around the trembling ex-pet. Angel swallowed, struggling against debilitating, irrational terror.
*Yes, I do, Raze.* The cat-girl buried her face in the 'path's shoulder. *I'm never going to get over this if I don't try, and... I want to help.* Angel's mental voice was shaky and small, the dread quivering there tugged at Razor's heart. The psi growled.
*Don't think I'm letting you do this on your own.*
Another spasm of uncontrolled shivering shook the slender woman.
*... Thank you.*With Angel's consent Greg had continued to regularly deep-scan the cat-girl while she slept. His persistence was paying off, extra details from Angel's previous life were beginning to surface as he probed the void in her memory. It was a slow process though, and disturbing for the ex-pet but from the Agency's perspective it was unearthing some useful information. It looked like the place where Angel had been 'harvested' coincided with where Devon had been approached...
Now, with a likely location to target the taskforce could start thinking about definite strategies.Lenore had asked Angel if she would mind talking to someone, a man, who was helping them with the case. The cat-girl's initial reaction to the request had been to burst into tears. Razor had snarled at her partner, telling the small blonde there was no way she was going to let Angel be subjected to that when the idea was so obviously distressing. Lenore had frowned, opening her mouth to reply when Angel cut in, asking in a tiny voice why the man wanted to talk to her.
"Alexei's very... thorough." Lenore replied. "He likes to have as much information as possible; it helps him build a more detailed picture."
Angel paused, thinking, then she nodded, a minute jerk of her head.
"All right then." her fingers tightened convulsively around Razor's hand. "I will."
Lenore smiled encouragingly then contacted *switchboard* to pinpoint Alexei's location. She'd speak to the empath directly, see how soon she could arrange the interview, for Angel's sake it would be best to get it over with as quickly as possible...Trey sulked all through his lunch - chicken soup, Caesar salad and a small bowl of fruit salad, a meal he only ate when he was annoyed and wished to punish himself - while Stephan was, to his credit, although obviously satisfied with the result of their match, not going to brag about it. In fact, he offered to give Trey some training if he was interested. Which Trey rebuffed, although I knew that when he had had a chance to think about it, he would - reluctantly - accept the offer, since his drive to improve was only a little less intense than my own...
Somewhat to my surprise Lenore approached our table soon afterwards. She greeted us cordially, then eyed me sombrely.
"Wombat thought it might be helpful if you speak to our rescued pet. I've had a word with Angel, and she's willing to see you for a little while this afternoon. How does that sound?"
I knew from my researches that Angel was one of that rarest of all people, a pet who had escaped her owner. I also knew that she would be at the very least in a somewhat fragile state. I bowed my head.
"I would appreciate the opportunity, if she believes she can cope with it."
Lenore sighed.
"To help stop the trade, she'll do what she can."
I nodded.
"Half an hour?"
"That'll be fine. You should know that Angel's... protector, Adelaide, will be there too."
"A.k.a. Razor, for obvious reasons." Devon added dryly. "If you aren't gentle with Angel, Razor'll be in your head like a fucking knife." He glanced at my partner then back at me. "Be better if it's just you, too. Angel's terrified of men."
Which was understandable.
"Is there anything else I should know? Anything I can do to make the interview easier for her?"
Lenore frowned.
"Loosen the tie. Don't make any sudden moves. Keep your voice low. Smile a little. And be very patient. Razor will say if it's getting too much for her."
"Very well."
Lenore smiled.
"OK. We'll see you in half an hour. Devon'll show you the room."
Trey frowned as she left the restaurant.
"You gonna be OK?"
I sighed in exasperation.
"Of course I shall."
"If you're sure... I have to check up on what Tarrence's forensic team have been doing, see if they've found anything yet. Meet you here later?"
"We can all meet up for dinner." Stephan grinned. "It will be pleasant, non?"
Trey obviously did not think much of the idea - but I was beginning to feel... relaxed here. Accepted. As though I did not have to be careful of everything I said or did. I nodded.
"I would like that very much." At Trey's startled glance, I added, "the food is most excellent..."Devon paused at the door, and turned to me, his voice very quiet.
"Good luck. Just remember not to frighten her."
"I will not forget..."Feeling buffered and protected between the comforting presences of Razor and Holly, Angel peeked through her lashes at the man sitting across the table. He was slender, and still, somehow, his hands clasped lightly in front of him on the table. Dark eyes below a fine, long black fringe regarded her with quiet good-nature. He wasn't - Angel realised with a jolt - a threat.
"Angel,' Lenore smiled from her seat beside the man, "this is Alexei."She was quite extraordinary. I had read her records - those that I had been permitted to access - so knew something of what to expect, the fur, the ears, the tail. But a picture could never express the reality. Angel was beautiful, in an exotic, alien way, large green eyes wary, nervousness evident in her posture. I sat very still, smiled gently, and kept my voice very low.
"Hello Angel. Thank you for speaking with me. I am honoured to meet you."
"H...hello." She sat up a little straighter and lifted her chin, meeting my gaze.
Brave soul.
"I would like to ask you some questions, but if I say anything that upsets you, or you do not want to answer, please let me know and I will stop. I do not want to cause you any pain."
Angel nodded, leaning imperceptibly closer to the watchful, frosty-eyed telepath beside her.
"I'll do my best."
I bowed my head slightly.
"Thank you. I appreciate your help."For the most part Angel answered Alexei's questions with her head down, eyes fixed on the tabletop. What she did see when she looked up was revealing. Alexei was tense, hands clasped together tightly enough his knuckles stood out whitely against already pale skin. He swallowed convulsively during some of her more graphic descriptions, and his eyes... They were filled with a sympathetic horror as if... as if he really knew what she'd been through.
Angel had been speaking of her last escape and how Jackson had tracked her down when an image of an old woman rose up in her mind. The cat-girl paused, confused as she tried to place the face.
"Angel?" Holly, already sensitive to the woman's emotions caught the flash of bright hot fear/grief/anger a split-second before Angel did.
"She tricked me!" Angel's strangled gasp made it sound as if she'd been punched in the stomach.
"What is it?" Razor's hand gripped the woman's shoulder. *Show me.* The 'path slipped easily into her lover's mind taking a *snapshot* of what she found there then broadcasting it to Lenore.
*Oh shit, that's the woman who picked Devon up!* The blonde eyed Angel briefly, noting her unnatural rigidity. She turned to the visiting Agent. "Alexei, I'm afraid we're going to have to leave it there," she murmured. "Angel's just remembered something else."
That much I could see: Angel's whole posture was eloquent of fear and betrayal . I nodded slowly and unclasped my hands, only then realising how much they ached from how tightly I had been gripping them together.
"Of course. I am very grateful that you have all allowed me to be here. Angel, I am so, so sorry for your pain and grief. Thank you for being brave enough to speak to me. I will do everything in my power to make sure no other person suffers so."
The cat-girl nodded tightly, not looking at him. Lenore stood up, *privating* to Razor.
*Let me know how she is.*
Razor didn't respond, the whole of her attention was focused on the cat-girl. Lenore flashed a tense smile to Alexei.
"I don't think we're needed. Let's go back to work..."The door snicked shut and Holly, concern in her eyes, turned to the pair.
"Angel?"
"Leave us." Razor's order was curt.
"Call me if you need - "
"Please just go." the 'path ground out, hastily erecting a temporary *shield* around her lover's mind - there was no need for anyone else to be privy to Angel's thoughts just now. She couldn't do anything to contain the storm of emotions though and any empaths nearby would have to look out for themselves.
The medtech left, largely unnoticed.Angry, Angel was so angry; her rage battered almost painfully against the telepath's psyche.
*The bitch!* the cat-girl raged. *She tricked me, lured me in to a nightmare and for what? Money? I went through all of ... that for money?*
Razor didn't speak, couldn't think of anything to say. She enfolded the woman, doing her inexpert best to project comfort and strength to the trembling cat-girl. Razor smiled grimly and forced herself to relax: she knew what Angel needed now, it was the same thing she needed every time she woke up from a nightmare induced by Greg's deep-scans.
*I'm here.* Razor took a deep breath and let her arms drop to her sides. Angel desperately needed to be in control, to assert herself.
Green eyes were wide with anguish.
*I don't want to - *
*You won't hurt me.* the 'path pre-empted the thought, reaching out to clasp one of Angel's tightly fisted hands. She gently prised the fingers open then held the hand against her chest. Angel's eyes glittered, her respiration becoming fast and shallow as she curved her hand around the woman's breast and squeezed.
*You're not going to hurt me.* Razor repeated, holding Angel's gaze with her own. *And you're not forcing me.* The cat-girl quivered, still indecisive - then she pounced.
Razor wondered, briefly, as Angel pushed her back against the table, if she should've locked the door first. But then no one in their right mind would consider coming in here once the noise began...All that Angel had managed to tell me in that soft, halting voice haunted me for the rest of the day... I had, I think, unconsciously opened fractionally in reaction to her distress, feeling some of what she had experienced - which in essence was not entirely different from my own horrors, although hers had lasted longer, was... colder, crueller. But we had both been caged, used, starved - of food, of respect, of being treated as human...
I had tried to act as normal during dinner, but Trey knew there was something wrong, and made our apologies with surprising tact as he hurried me out and into a taxi. Back at the hotel he gripped my shoulders, pushed me down to sit on the bed, and gently demanded to be told what had happened...So I told him all that Angel had told me, and all that I had learned that day, and at the end of it he looked sick. He grabbed me into his arms and held me so tightly I couldn't breathe.
"Would've spared you that."
"We needed to know, vorolye."
"Yeah, but..." he leaned back, cupped my face in his broad hands. "You're gonna have nightmares for days."
"One does not have nightmares during the day..."
He growled and shook me gently.
"Don't be so fucking flippant."
"I am sorry."
He bit his lip, then pulled me close.
"'m sorry, lover. Don't like you hurt."
I sighed and relaxed a little.
"I know. But I want this evil trade stopped, Trey. It is worse than my own suffering, far worse..." I could hear my voice trailing away, torn between needing to not carry this knowledge by myself and knowing that Trey could not help me. He eyed me for a moment, then pulled me to my feet.
"C'mon. Bath. A proper bath, you soaking in bubbles, me washing you, glass or two of wine, something to eat while you're in the tub - you hardly touched dinner, don't think I didn't notice! - and then I'll dry you and you'll just lie back and let me love you. And no arguments."
And for a while it worked, Trey's hands gentle upon me, sponging warm soapy water over me, massaging my aching neck and shoulders, hand sliding down to my groin under the water, stroking and fondling and bringing me to a soft, slow, luxurious orgasm - why does skin feel more sensitive, more receptive, under water? - then taking me to the bed and taking me, hands and lips and tongue strong and sure, holding back his own climax until I had come once more, then thrusting home, crying out my name and holding me tightly to him...
It was wonderful, and loving, and tender, and it made not one iota of difference to the horrors behind my eyes as soon as I fell asleep.Was I myself? Or was I a frightened cat-girl with no memory of herself? Was the pain I felt, of rigid flesh reopening the barely-scabbed abrasions within my body, mine or hers? Was the penis, shoved into my mouth, my throat, so forcefully I could hardly breathe, Radinski's or Jackson's? I thought that the bruises over my ribs and belly and buttocks were mine, the aching, swollen nipples and clitoris hers, but we were blending, and I could not be sure...
I jerked upright, shaking, sweating, biting my lip 'til it bled to stop myself from crying out. Trey stirred and pulled me back down to lie beside him, thankfully not waking as I forced myself to stillness...
Two hours later it happened again, my mind filled with her pain, with a memory, a vision, of servicing her owner's friends, visiting for a celebration of some kind, their pets shared between them... her confusion, hating what she was... constrained to do, not knowing why... they had taken her memories, her life...
This time Trey woke, kneeling up and grabbing my shoulders as I panted, hyperventilating, my skin cold and clammy... realising distantly I was panicking... Trey slapped me, stingingly and I collapsed against him as he nuzzled my hair.
"'m sorry, lover." he muttered, stroking my back. "'m so sorry..."And it happened again, and again, throughout the night...
As the first daylight spilled through the bedroom window I gave up even the pretence of trying to sleep, and stumbled to the bathroom for a shower. It served to sluice away some of the night's unpleasantness. The rest I would have to deal with as it raised itself from my... her... our pasts.
Devon frowned at me over lunch - Trey had arranged to spend the day with Tarrence's team, Stephan was on guard duty for a visiting dignitary, and Devon seemed to have allocated himself my companion while our respective partners were otherwise engaged - then reached out and touched my cheek. I instinctively jerked back, and he grimaced.
"Sorry. You look knackered. You didn't get any sleep, did you?"
I shook my head wearily, and he nodded.
"Nightmares. From what Angel told you?"
"Yes..."
He eyed me shrewdly.
"You're an empath, though. I'd have thought you'd learned how to deal with that sort of crap."
It took me a moment to work out that he meant the treatment that Angel had suffered, then I shook my head again.
"I have no training."
He frowned at that, then tilted his head.
"There's more though, isn't there? You had something similar happen to you?"
I watched him for a moment, then quite deliberately changed the subject.
"John has said that you also were captured by the pet-makers."
He grinned ruefully, not taking offence, and nodded.
"I was lucky - I got away." The smile faded. "But I couldn't help Angel. Or any of the others."
"What happened?"
I wasn't certain he would want to talk about the experience, but he was surprisingly forthcoming - although his voice faltered when he started to describe how he had been treated at the clinic before his escape. I raised a hand.
"You do not need to speak if it pains you."
He shook his head.
"Nah. Doesn't bother me so much any more. I had one of Greg's deep-scans. It was much easier to deal with everything afterwards."
Which was interesting... He skimmed over the rest of his narrative, as if aware that I found it - disturbing, then leaned back in his seat.
"S'pose we'd better get back to work." His eyes narrowed. "Can I ask a personal question?"
I nodded warily, and he grinned. I should have learned by now that when Devon says personal, he means personal.
"You don't look right in a suit with your hair short. Why don't you get some casual stuff and let it grow a bit?"
I blinked, an easy refusal on my lips - then paused. I had not really thought about it, but here, in Agency HQ - and to some extent outside it - I was the one who stood out: casual clothing seemed to be the norm. Suddenly intensely self-conscious, I nodded, feeling my face flush. Devon chuckled.
"You look cute when you do that!"
I stared at him, speechless - then realised that he was teasing me! Uncertain of how to deal with it, I ducked my head, my face heating even more with the further realisation that he was attracted to me, and not at all inhibited about showing it. But... he loved Stephan, he had said so... I jumped as he laid a hand on my arm.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to embarrass you." He smiled. "You an' Trey're exclusive, aren't you?"
I nodded hesitantly, wary of admitting even that much, and he sighed.
"Pity..." He laughed. "Never mind. The way we're going, Stephan 'n' me'll end up that way too!"
I smiled, but did not risk commenting on the statement. However, there was something I had to ask.
"Devon...where may I buy some casual clothes?"
He grinned broadly...Trey's face was almost worth the embarrassment of the afternoon's shopping trip. Devon had taken us to Oxford Street. It had changed since I had last been there, and now spread out over many streets and pedestrianised roadways. I was thankful that he knew where to go, as within minutes I would have been lost... But three hours later we arrived back at Agency HQ laden down by bags, and with me wearing black jeans, a deep blue fleecy cotton shirt open at the neck, black boots and a black leather trench coat. It was, I decided, dangerous to shop with Devon, and not just for one's credit balance. And it had been a long time since I felt so conspicuous. But Trey...
My partner halted in the doorway of John's office, swallowed hard, strode forwards and very nearly pulled me into his arms.
"... wow... Who are you and what have you done with Alexei?"
Devon laughed aloud, grinning from ear to ear.
"You approve?"
Trey seemed unable to tear his gaze away from me.
"I've been trying to get him out of suits for three years. You spend lunch with him and manage this?" He mock-scowled. "OK, what's the secret? And how much do you want for it?"
Devon winked at me, then folded his arms over his chest with a smirk.
"You can blame Stephan - and Cloud."
And with that enigmatic statement, he was swept into the arms of his partner, just arrived back from the day's duty. I caught Trey's elbow and ushered him to one side, to give them a little privacy. Not that they seemed to care...The shopping expedition and its attendant feelings of unease had served to distract me adequately from my exhaustion and the memories of yesterday - at least temporarily. But despite his obvious pleasure at my 'new look', as he phrased it, Trey was very aware of my weariness. Stephan suggested we all have dinner together again: Trey shook his head firmly.
"Thanks, but we have things we need to talk about. And Alexei needs an early night."
I glared at him - there was no need to bring it to everyone's attention - but Stephan eyed me sympathetically.
"Mais oui. You 'ave been working too 'ard. We will see you tomorrow?"
I nodded. By my reckoning it would be days yet before we had all the information we needed. Stephan smiled.
"I 'ope you sleep well, mon ami." He glanced sardonically at Trey. "An' you should let 'im rest."
He grinned as Trey spluttered speechlessly, gave us both a cheery wave, then wrapped an arm around his smirking partner's shoulders and sauntered out of the office.We dined early, quietly at the hotel, then retired to our room. I stood for a moment, gazing at the packages - we'd simply dropped them on the bed and gone straight down to the restaurant - then sighed and reached for the first of them, intending to unpack and put away my new clothing, but Trey caught my hand, raising it to his lips and kissing my palm.
"No you don't. You're getting in the bath again. I'll put everything away."
I frowned at him. I do not like being told what to do. He offered an apologetic smile.
"Please? Lover, you haven't slept properly in three days. You can't work at your best when you're that tired."
I had to admit that he was right, much as it pained me to do so...
And the bath felt good. Trey came in after fifteen minutes, naked and carrying two glasses of wine; I had been almost falling asleep. He sat on the edge of the tub and ran his fingers through my hair.
"Will you let it grow out? Just a little? Please?"
I tried to glower, but it was too much effort. I nodded wearily instead.
"For a little while. Until I see if I like it or not."
He grinned and leaned down to kiss me.
"Mmmm... pity the tub isn't bigger..."
I agreed. It would have been nice to have him in the bath with me. But I was tiring. He grabbed a huge bath towel as I stood, wrapping it around me then pulling me to him for a kiss. And exhausted as I was, it was arousing, and he chuckled.
"Want me to carry you?"
"I think I still have sufficient energy to walk, thank you."
He'd pulled down the duvet and left the wine at hand on the bedside table. I resisted the urge to check that he had hung the new clothing correctly: we have been together for long enough for him to learn how I like my clothes folded. He stood behind me, gently rubbing the towel over my wet skin, then kissed the back of my neck, murmuring,
"Why don't you get into bed?"
The idea was irresistible. Trey took the towel, and by the time he'd draped it over the heated rail in the bathroom I was on my back, eyes closing. He chuckled, then slid under the duvet and settled himself over me, his erection hard against my groin.
"Are you too tired?"
In fact I probably was, but I could feel the nightmares gathering at the back of my mind... I shook my head.
"I am never too tired for you, vorolye."
He sighed contentedly, kissing my throat, then brushing kisses down my body, licking and nipping as he went, his touches making me shiver with anticipation. By the time he reached my groin I was erect and aching, and heard myself moan as he took my penis into his mouth, one finger teasing between my legs, easing its way in, distracting me from the discomfort by licking my shaft. My hands tangled in his hair without my volition - and then his finger brushed over my prostate, and my hips bucked upwards, pushing me further into his throat. He chuckled, then very carefully brought his teeth to bear, making tiny biting motions up and down that had me whimpering, feeling the tightness as I approached orgasm. Then Trey eased in a second finger and rubbed...
White light burst behind my eyes as I came, hands fisted in wiry dark coppery hair, Trey's tongue and throat muscles rippling against my penis as he pulled back a little and swallowed, then sucked me in again, milking me... as I softened he gently slid up my shaft, settling me back against my testicles then kissing the limp organ.
I was still shaking as he reached for our lubrication, coating himself liberally then carefully easing into me. While it is good to be able to come together, for me it is more comfortable like this, loose and relaxed after my own orgasm, and Trey slid in easily with a long, deep sigh. I raised my knees, curling my hips up slightly to give him better access, and he started to thrust, gently at first, soon gathering momentum, crushing his lips to mine as he came in a series of hard little jerks that sent sparks through my nervous system. Panting, he pressed kisses to my face and neck as his penis slackened and slipped from me - then swiftly grabbed a handful of tissues from the box beside the bed, shifted down, and swabbed me clean of the semen oozing from my body. I raised my head and an enquiring eyebrow, and he kissed the inside of my thigh.
"Don't want you uncomfortable. You're too tired for another bath - or a shower."
I smiled.
"Vorolye, that is what bidets are for."
He blinked, then reddened slightly.
"Oh. Yeah. I forgot..."
I reached to stroke his hair.
"But I am grateful not to have to move. Thank you."
He beamed, finished his task, tossed the tissues into the wastepaper basket and slid back up the bed to cuddle me close.
"I love you."
"Trey..."
WHY can't I say it? He nuzzled my hair and pulled my head to rest on his shoulder.
"I know. You don't have to say it, lover. Sleep now. You need it."
I nestled against him, miserably wondering why I could not tell him how I felt...I managed to sleep for a full four hours before the nightmares began.
Trey poured another cup of coffee and placed it in my hands, his expression worried.
"Perhaps we should take the day off, let you get some sleep..."
"No. I will be fine." And I certainly was not going to admit to any weakness. Trey growled.
"Look, they're all talents. They must know how hard it can be! They won't mind."
"But I will. No, Trey, there is no time to be lost. Every day we cannot find the source is another day when pets may be made."
He glared at me, but knew better than to argue.Half way through the morning de Winter sent a message that Trey was needed on the secure line to Force HQ. Frowning his puzzlement he strode off to her office, returning twenty minutes later with a face like a thundercloud.
"Fuckin' pain in the... Alexei, I gotta get back to HQ. There's been a... complication in a case I headed five years back."
I could feel my heart sink.
"And no one else can handle it?"
"I tried, believe me, but the boss insists. I gotta be on the first plane out - that's in a couple of hours." He hesitated, eyeing me anxiously. "You coming with me?"
I shook my head.
"I can be of no help to you - that was before we were partnered. And I do not wish to delay my investigation here."
He sighed.
"Yeah, I know. I'll be as quick as I can. Shouldn't be more than six-seven days, but you know how these things can work out."
I nodded, missing him already.
"I will come to the airport with you."
He raised a hand.
"Rather you didn't."
I understood. I also hated farewells, even temporary ones. I nodded.
"Very well. Do you need to collect anything from the hotel?"
"No." Which was actually just as well, he'd be hard pressed for time to reach Heathrow even without any diversions. "Could you ring for a cab while I make a couple calls?"I saw him into the taxi, shaking his hand as though we were nothing but colleagues, aware of his unhappiness.
"Don't you dare try opening without me!"
I tried to smile, promising that I would not do anything so dangerous while he was gone. We'd arranged to alternate contacting each other while he was away, at six p.m. his time. I wanted so much to hug him, kiss him before he left - and I could not do it... He smiled sadly, murmured, "I love you" then climbed into the cab, forcing a smile and a "see you soon!" as the vehicle pulled away...Back in John's office Devon was waiting for me.
"You gonna be OK?"
I nodded tiredly.
"I will manage."
He perched himself on the edge of the desk and inclined his head.
"Why don't you move in here while he's gone? We can keep you company."
For a moment I was tempted - I know how lonely I can feel when Trey is away - but shook my head firmly. I must not rely on others, it is too dangerous. Devon shrugged.
"Well, if you change your mind, just say. You'll eat with us, won't you?"
I readily agreed to that. I found I enjoyed Devon's chat over lunch, snippets of information about the Agency, the people in it, the training he'd gone through to develop his TK...Three days passed. I filled them with research, working late into the evening, not returning to the hotel until after Trey's call each night. The bed was lonely without him, and my sleep disturbed, but at least I was sleeping, albeit not well or for long enough, nightmares waking me with depressing regularity. Then on the fourth day de Winter invited me to her office...
The powerful telepath Greg Mahican was there, along with Razor, John, Lenore, and a woman I did not know, conservatively-dressed, middle-aged, who was introduced as Anna Joye. The others deferred to her, so I assumed she must be a member of whatever cabal it was that controlled the Agency.
de Winter cleared her throat.
"I think all of us here are aware of the problems of the pet-trade." She paused for a moment to let the growls and noises of agreement die away. "And we are also all aware that Alexei's case coincides with our ongoing problem. Now, we believe we have come up with a method for resolving that problem, at least for a time..."What they proposed was, on the face of it, perfectly reasonable. With the information they had now gathered, from Angel, from Devon, and from my own researches, it had been decided that the easiest way to gain access to the trade was to infiltrate the local clinic. From there they would be able to gain access to the network.
Except that it was not, of course, that easy.
Greg frowned.
"We know they employ powerful talents to guard their secrecy. They'll spot any of the Agency staff a mile away. Even if we send in someone who isn't already known to them - and a lot of us are, remember - they'll pick up on them being a talent and not take the bait."
de Winter looked uneasy.
"That's why we've considered using a stranger."
And Razor looked directly at me as her partner frowned. "That's extremely risky. We don't know enough of the operation to guarantee their safety."
"There is a way."
All heads turned to Anna Joye. The woman inclined her head.
"It is quite possible for the volunteer" - there was a faint but unmistakable stress upon the word "to be given false memories, to have their talent... muted for the duration."
There was an uproar, with everyone talking at once. It would appear that the thought of such a thing was anathema to a talent. And yet, if it would break the trade...
They needed a stranger, but one who was associated with the Agency, someone who could look after themselves. And, I would assume, someone who had not been properly trained in the control of their talent, as it seemed that anyone adequately trained would instinctively fight against having their abilities tampered with in any way.
It was blatantly obvious why I had been invited to this meeting...
"We could just use a flatscan," Lenore interjected, "We've some superb undercover operatives here. Or call someone in from Europe. It's as easy to keep a telepathic trace on a normal as a talent, right? And - gods forbid it gets to this point - what happens if the talent gets modified? They're likely to lose their ability."
de Winter grimaced.
"Consider this: if worse comes to worst a talent, especially a 'path, will be able to *broadcast* a call for help, even if the trace on them is lost, interrupted for some reason. That's something a normal can't do. We'd need to cover as many eventualities as possible, and talents are inherently more flexible."
"But if they don't remember they're a talent, and their abilities have been suppressed...?" Lenore was prepared to be argumentative.
"A post-hypnotic instruction can be implanted, deeply, for them to *call* if they get into trouble."
Lenore made an impatient sound.
"That's too many variables! There's too much can go wrong."
"I will go."
For a moment the argument continued, but Greg had heard me. He raised a hand for silence.
"Alexei?"
"I will go. It is why you invited me here, after all."
de Winter closed her eyes; I had the distinct impression she'd been an unwilling participant in this charade. But I was used to politicking - it happens all the time in the Force.
Lenore frowned.
"But... It's too dangerous, Alexei."
"And while we debate the risks more innocents are being mutilated and sold into the cruellest form of slavery. I cannot countenance it."
Greg bowed his head to hide his expression, one of disgust at his superior's duplicity, I thought. I gazed around the table.
"It can be done? I can be made to... be a different person? And changed back afterwards?"
Greg nodded, keeping his eyes lowered.
"It has been done, several times before. To Athena, one of our deep cover agents. With no harmful after effects."
"Then we shall make the attempt."I was not prepared to argue - though I was grateful that Trey was not there. He would never have accepted my decision, and I do not like fighting with him. When I spoke to him that night I had decided to half-lie, telling him that the case required me to be out of contact for a while, but that I would be back in touch within a few days. If he had any urgent messages, he should leave them with Greg, who would *send* them to me.
He was not pleased, but as it happened he too had to be silent for several days, on surveillance duty. I smiled and agreed that the timing could not have been better, and he reluctantly agreed with me. Closing the connection that night was harder than normal...Greg explained the procedure to me. It would take three of them, Lana d'Abare, whose skill in manipulating memories was unquestioned and would have been very dangerous in the wrong hands, Razor, who would provide the power necessary, and himself, to keep me calm and reassured and to hold the gestalt together. I did not understand the explanation. But Greg assured me that it would be temporary, that they would undo everything once they had stormed the clinic and rescued me. And on that subject, Greg had smiled and held up a tiny bead.
"It's a tracer. A powerful ceramic one. It won't be detected by normal scanning. It will be placed inside you, and someone will monitor it at all times."
I nodded.
"We're not going to change your name, it's not that unusual, and you have no records in this county - genuine ones, that is. Once we have the false memories in place, we'll take you to the approximate area where Devon and Angel were captured, and let you loose. You'll believe you live there - we've had a small apartment registered in your name, with records falsified to show you've been there for six months, and others in the national database to prove you were made redundant from your last job three weeks ago and haven't found another yet - just in case anyone wants to check. We're going to leave you there for two weeks. We'll just have to hope the finders take the bait." He gazed at me. "You're certainly the type they seem to go for. Then it's a matter of keeping you monitored until we find out where the clinic is."
"And then the cavalry will arrive to save the day."
"For you and for hundreds of others. If we can break into the UK ring, we should be able to access the entire network."
"It is worth a little personal risk."
Greg laid a hand on my shoulder.
"Why are you doing this, Alexei?"
I regarded him for a long moment, then lowered my eyes.
"Because I know how it feels, and I do not want anyone else to have to experience it."It was the afternoon of the following day, and Greg held my hand firmly, his eyes fixed on mine.
*Are you sure you want to go through with this?*
I nodded, wincing slightly: the site where the ceramic tracer had been inserted, under my pelvic bone, still ached.
"I am certain."
Though I wasn't, not really. I knew Trey would... he had several colourful idioms for his likely reaction, 'go ballistic' and 'go apeshit' but two of them. And the thought of losing my memories, if only for a short while, was most unpleasant. But it had to be done. The vile trade had to be stopped.
Lana smiled down at me, one hand stroking my hair back from my forehead.
"I won't hurt you."
"I had not thought that you would."
She chuckled.
"Good. Now, are you ready?"
I nodded, and closed my eyes...
© 2004 June 13th Joules and Lutra
Darkside