Equerry's Monologue

He told me he was leaving yesterday.

He told me he was going to go to this place called Earth. Going there to pick up his younger brother Kakarrot. If the boy was still alive, that was.

Going to leave me here, to take care of the prince. 'Cause it isn't smart to leave Bejiita by himself. The prince could do something rash. I have to be here to inject wisdom in case the younger Saiyan does something risky.

Bull Fucking Shit.

Everyone knows the prince is smarter than I am. If any one needed guidance it was me. I'm the stupid one. Commander of what's left of the great Saiyan race… my uke ass.

I know he just doesn't want Furiza coming after us. It would mean death. One Saiyan slipping from his ranks: no whoop. Two - that would spell trouble.

Even though I know he wants me to come with him.

So I smile. Shake my head in agreement. The crimson bandanna he wrapped around my head so many years ago waves as I do so. As I agree so reluctantly. Putting on a good show for the rather impatient Royal brood that stood beside me.

I tower over my prince like I'm suppose to be his protector. But then again, everyone knows… He's more powerful than me. I'm merely his loyal lap dog.

Big as I am.

Raditz smiled too. Reaching over to brush his fingertips against my cheek. I match his gaze. I bet he can see the despair in my eyes. I can see it in his.

But he has to go get Kakarrot. Maybe with another Saiyan at our back, we could finally rebel against Furiza.

Kami. That would be grand. We could finally be free.

He says it will take about a year to reach the planet, and that he'll keep us both posted. Yah. At least I'll be able to hear his voice.

His fingers slip away. He begins to turn away. Toward the pod.

Bejiita calls out that he'd better not come back empty handed. It would be unwise.

Kuso. I almost want to deck my own Prince. But I'll never do that. I'm too afraid of him. He could kill me without warning.

I merely sigh, and watch as Raditz slips into the Saiyan pod. The doors hiss shut. I can still see his face as the pod begins to power up.

I even catch the mouthed "I love you, koibito." Before the bay doors open and he is gone.

I want to cry.

Imagine me. A big elite seasoned warrior like me. Wanting to cry.

But I don't. I won't let my prince see that weakness.

But Kami knows. I'll miss him. I'll miss my mate. I will keep the memory of last night in my head. At least he gave me a really good good-bye present. I'm gonna be aching for weeks.

But it's worth it. I guess.

I hear Bejiita shift besides me. And then the scoffing " Finally, good riddance to low level trash."

It's hard to keep my fist from balling. But instead I just nod, smile, and agree with my prince.
      I tell him it would be nice to not have his hair hitting me in the face all the time.

It such a horrible fucking lie.

Bejiita smirks. And then tells me to get my big ass down to the training room. We're going to spar a bit. He moves off and leaves me standing there. Staring at the bay doors.

Kami. I miss him so much already. And for some reason I don't feel like I'm ever going to see him again.

But that's silly. I'm so silly. So stupid sometimes.

I shake my head. The tail ends of the bandanna trail my broad shoulders.

One last long look at the bay doors, and then I shuffle off towards the training room.

It's then I notice that I'm crying. Really crying. And my tail is dragging behind me.

I'm not worried about Bejiita. Or that I broke my own will.

The wetness in my eyes will be gone soon, and I will rewrap my tail before I enter the room.

After all. I'm just the lackey. Neither brave like my mate. Nor powerful like my Prince.

I do as I'm told. I will wait here.

                  No matter how much it hurts me.

© 2003 Spug

This piece is actually the last in a little series of Raditz/Nappa fics, which used to be on FanFiction.net but which seem to have recently disappeared into a black hole. Which is a bloody pain, because they were intriguing: the pairing is unusual, to start with, and having Elite Nappa play uke to 'low-level' seme Raditz… yummm…
      I'm trying to find out if the other fics have been posted anywhere else, so I can post a link to them.

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© 2003 WordWrights

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