Clouds
"I wonder how they're doing?"
Vejiita, absorbed in what was on the screen, answered absently. "Call and find out."
I sighed. "I did. An hour ago. And an hour before that. I'm going to annoy them if I keep on badgering them for news."
He spared me a quick glance. "They'll contact us as soon as they have anything to tell us."
I nodded reluctantly. He was quite right. I turned back to my own screen...
"...Did you hear me?"
My head jerked around. Vejiita was glaring at me.
"Uh, sorry, my lord.... What did you say?"
"I said, if you can't be still go and train. I have a meeting in an hour: I can't work with you pacing and sighing like that."
I bit my lip. I hadn't even been aware of standing up, let alone pacing.
"I'm sorry. I'm just..."
"Worried. I know. You've made that abundantly clear." He frowned. "Why are you so worried?"
I stared at him, exasperated. "Do you have any feelings at all for anyone but yourself?"
He inclined his head for a moment or two, thinking, then smirked.
"No."
"Oh thanks a lot...." I threw my hands in the air and stormed out of the office.
"You want to talk about it?"
Tamata's hands were on my shoulders, kneading firmly. I sighed and let my head roll back. For reasons of his own Vejiita did not want anyone to know that Zha'haabron was so ill - he'd let it be generally known the absence of the prince and the captain of the Elite Guard was due partly to official business on R'ren'nkh'ia, in the run up to the High King's coronation, and partly so that the prince could recover from his recent ordeal (he hadn't been able to keep that a secret, much to his annoyance. Too many people had seen his reaction and where it had led him). And much as I wanted to talk to someone about my own problems, Tamata was not the ideal choice: a good friend, but hardly the most discreet person around. I couldn't risk her letting something slip.
"It's not important."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
I winced as she dug her thumbs sharply into the edges of my shoulderblades. "Then why're you so tense?"
"Oh, you know, Vejiita, the twins, pressure of work... And Zha'haabron lost his babies."
Tamata grimaced. "I heard. You were there?"
I nodded. "It was horrible. The one that was still alive was too immature to survive." I couldn't very well tell her that it had torn blindly at Zh'leet's hands with teeth and claws even as it died, its lungs not yet capable of breathing air. Radittsu had said Dhr'ovaanon was mad: so, it would appear, were his offspring.
She hugged me from behind. "Poor you. I can see why that would give you nightmares. But that's all over now. So what else is wrong?"
I shrugged. "Nothing."
She moved to sit in front of me, frowning in exasperation. "Don't lie to me - you know it won't work."
"I'm not lying!" Well, I wasn't. I just wasn't telling the whole truth.
"Hey, this is me, remember? If you're worried because you've got the hots for Radittsu and are afraid of Vejiita finding out..."
"WHAT!?? "
She smirked at me. "You didn't seriously think you could keep it secret, did you?"
I gaped at her, suddenly cold. "...how...?"
"Don't act so surprised - you know how gossip spreads in the barracks."
"...but...."
"Never thought I'd see you lost for words!"
I sank my head into my hands, my voice faint. "You'd better tell me what's being said..."
She was silent. Eventually I looked up, into her grinning face.
"Got ya!"
"...what...?"
"Only joking. But you told me what I wanted to know!"
"You.... you.... bitch!" She lost the smug grin as I went for her throat, tumbling us both onto the floor. But she didn't fight back, so I only half-throttled her before letting go and hauling her back to her feet.
"So now you know. You tell anyone else and I'll.... I'll...." My voice tailed off - I couldn't think of anything painful enough to threaten her with. She wrapped me in her arms, her tail around my waist, and hugged me, hard.
"Don't be so bloody stupid. You should know I'd never do anything to hurt you."
We sat back down, and I gazed at her. "How did you know?"
She shrugged. "I didn't. But I heard about how much time you spend with him from Kakarotto. Then you went on leave with him and the prince. And he is gorgeous - if he wasn't way out of my league I'd be tempted to go after him myself! But I was just guessing really. So, you want to talk about it?"
I lowered my head. "I can't."
She nodded. "Hai. Whenever you're ready. Just tell me one thing. Have you had sex with him?"
"Don't be stupid!" I snarled.
"Yeah, it was a daft question, wasn't it. Sorry. But you'd like to? How does he feel?"
"Tamata, I don't want to talk about it. Any of it."
"Ignoring it won't make it go away!"
"And talking about it just makes me want it even more!" I sighed and took her hand. "Look, I promise, if I ever do feel I want to talk, you'll be the first and only person I come to, ne? Now let's leave it. Tell me how things are with you."
I held my breath as she stared at me, suddenly unsure as to whether I wanted her to insist and make me confess, or just change the subject. Eventually she hmphed, and began to tell me about the latest stage of her chaotic relationship with Kakarotto. I breathed a sigh of part relief, part disappointment, and tried to concentrate on what she was saying.
It wasn't easy. Gods knew I wanted to talk to someone. Preferably Radittsu. Although talking was the least of what I wanted to do. I gritted my teeth and tried to force down the images that rose behind my eyes... Radittsu. Big, powerful, warm, affectionate, beautiful Radittsu. Who was currently waiting in agony to hear if his beloved bondmate was going to live or die...
My life's a mess.
Elsewhere in the palace...
The meeting was drawing to a close. Anzu rested his hands on the table, his expression satisfied.
"Well, I can't see any problems, Sire. We've determined which planets we should focus on first. If you wish, I'll have my aides do a final feasibility study and construct a computer model to confirm, but otherwise I believe we should be able to go ahead as planned. As long as nothing unforeseen happens to prevent Zha'geekaan's coronation as High King, of course."
Vejiita looked around the table at the members of his inner council, frowning. "I do so wish. And you will need to build in a few unexpected variables."
Anzu's head jerked up. "Sire?"
"Zha'haabron is - indisposed. At the moment it is not known whether he will live."
There was a shocked silence, then the questions came from all directions at once. Vejiita raised his hands for silence and gestured to Anzu.
"Sire, with respect, the prince is the key figure in the plan. How are we to proceed if he dies?"
Vejiita leaned forward. "That is what you will have to resolve."
Limau - one of the old King's advisors - frowned. "I don't see how we can, Sire. We've geared everything around the prince's ascension to the throne."
"Find a way around it."
Anzu and Limau glanced at each other. Vejiita was obviously not in a mood to be reasoned with.
"Very well, Sire. We'll see what we can come up with and get back to you."
The King nodded. "Of course, it may prove unnecessary. The prince may recover. Although the last report was not favourable." He turned towards the door. "I'll expect to see the computer models for both the original plan, and your revised scheme, in - let's say, eight days time. We should know by then whether the prince is still a factor or not."
The light slap of bare feet on stone roused Radittsu from the half-doze he'd fallen into under Ti'aasaan's gentle fingers. The little zn'hre was nestled sideways on his lap, his head against a warm, strong shoulder, fingers stroking his neck gently, the other hand resting on a strong forearm. The Saiyan opened weary eyes to see a gn'ick'lehe hovering before them: Ti'aasaan spoke quietly in R'ren'nkh'ia-go and the gn'ick'lehe nodded, making ushering gestures with its paws. Ti'aasaan turned to Radittsu.
"Zha'haabron is out of the emergency room. Zh'leet wants to see us."
The Saiyan rose abruptly, lowering the zn'hre to his feet - then glancing up and down the hall, bewildered. He was completely lost... "Where?"
Ti'aasaan took his hand. "The gn'ick'lehe will take us there."
They hastily followed the scuttling little lizard, Radittsu chafing at their slowness, Ti'aasaan panting slightly at the pace. After a while he hissed something and the gn'ick'lehe halted, and the zn'hre paused for a moment, gasping, leaning against the Saiyan.
"I can't keep up. Please could we go a little more slowly?"
Radittsu gently pulled him upright, only then fully taking in his swollen belly. He laid one hand softly on the distended abdomen and cupped Ti'aasaan's chin in the other, raising his face.
"I'm sorry. I forgot."
The zn'hre gazed up at him for a moment, then smiled slightly. "It is all right. But I tire easily, and I can't move very fast at the moment."
Radittsu looked at him for a second or two, then swept the slight figure up into strong warm arms and nodded to the gn'ick'lehe to continue. He hardly noticed the weight as he swiftly carried Ti'aasaan towards their prince.
Zh'leet met them, her face grave. Ti'aasaan felt the Saiyan trembling: he hugged the big male close, trying to share his strength.
"He has survived the surgery. But.... his chances are not good."
Radittsu paled and sank slowly to his knees.
"No...." Ti'aasaan could only just hear the whisper. Zh'leet laid a hand on the Saiyan's shoulder, staring intently into his eyes.
"He's not dead. And now you need to help him live."
"...what...?"
She wrapped her hands around his forearm and tried to pull him to his feet, scowling ferociously to force him to move himself. When he was once more upright, she dragged him, unresisting, into a side chamber and pushed him onto a seat, Ti'aasaan beside him gripping his hand. Zh'leet stood before them, her arms crossed.
"One thing your little warrior taught me was that you and the Ssii'irin are closely bonded. I've seen it for myself - I've felt it for myself - and now it's time to make it work for him. I need you both to stay with him, let him know you're here, give him something to fight for. You," she pointed to Radittsu, "must *tell* him how much you need him, how much you love him." She paused, considering. "Do you know how to share ki with him?" The Saiyan shook his head. "Pity. Ah well, never mind. There's no guarantee it would work anyway."
You," she pointed to Ti'aasaan - and switched to R'ren'nkh'ia-go. Radittsu watched as the little zn'hre regarded the ko'ish'n sombrely and nodded. Zh'leet stared narrowly at both of them for a moment, then turned, beckoning them to follow.
Radittsu stood by the bed, tears flooding down his face, unable to breathe as he stared down at his bondmate. Ti'aasaan gripped his hand hard, sharp nails drawing blood. Radittsu didn't even feel it.
Zha'haabron.... looked dead. White, unmoving, somehow small, and motionless under the thin sheet. He was hooked up to a transfuser that fed deep blue fluid slowly back into his blood-starved body, and some sort of monitor that showed that he was still alive, if only just.
".... zk'vissin..."
Ti'aasaan moved forward to lay a hand gently on his Ssii'irin's forehead, gazing down at the drawn, pained face, then looked up at the Saiyan.
"We can do this, Ssii'iir Rhoi'i'dat'hzziu. We have to."
The Saiyan switched his gaze hopelessly between Ti'aasaan and his bondmate.
"How?"
The little zn'hre dragged a chair to the bedside and pushed Radittsu, unresisting, into it, then pulled up one for himself at the other side of the bed. He took one of Zha'haabron's hands, nodding at the Saiyan to do the same, then fixed Radittsu with an unexpectedly severe and determined glare.
"First, we believe that he will live. Then we convince him of it. Between us we can do it. You mean more to him than anything else in his entire life: he would do anything to prevent either of us being hurt. So we let him know how much losing him would hurt us..."
Zh'leet smiled. "Well, it's blackmail, but I can't think of anything that would be more effective. I will leave you - but I won't be far away."
As she left the room, Radittsu and Ti'aasaan tightened their grip on the prince and began their vigil...
For five days Radittsu and Ti'aasaan had sat at the prince's bedside, sleeping fitfully in their seats, only leaving when absolutely necessary. Zh'leet was worried about Radittsu: she'd made sure the little zn'hre drank the high-protein beverage she brought in at regular intervals, and had tried to persuade the Saiyan to do the same - Radittsu had taken a sip then placed the beaker on the floor and forgotten about it. Finally she confronted him.
"Ssii'iir, you must eat. You won't be any use to anyone if you collapse, will you?"
Radittsu raised his eyes to hers, and she frowned. He'd lost weight, and his face was gaunt, pale, with dark shadows under his eyes.
"I'm not hungry."
She glared at him. "When the Ssii'irin recovers, he'll be very weak for quite a while. You'll need to be strong - he'll need you to care for him. You won't be able to do that if you're half-starved."
Radittsu gazed at her for a long moment, then swung his head back to his bondmate, indecisive. Ti'aasaan glanced up at him.
"She speaks truly. You need nourishment."
The Saiyan sighed, and gently laid Zha'haabron's hand back onto the bed, allowing Zh'leet to lead him to an adjoining room where she'd already laid out a meal. Radittsu bolted the meat, causing the ko'ish'n grave concerns for his digestive system, and hastened back to his bondmate's bedside.
Nothing had changed. He took the cold pale hand back into his warm palm and kissed it gently.
*Beloved... I'm sure you can hear me. Please come back. Please. I can't live without you...*
But there was no answer.
Vejiita frowned as I relayed Zh'leet's latest message - no change. "So we're still no wiser."
I scowled. "Well, I have faith in him. And Radittsu and Ti'aasaan. If anyone can force him to pull through it'll be those two."
"Nevertheless, the situation is still unresolved. Which doesn't help me."
I inclined my head. "Why? Why is Zha'haabron still important to you? I thought he'd served your purpose."
Vejiita regarded me for a moment, then shook his head. I sighed. "Still don't trust me?"
"With this, no. Not yet, anyway."
Oh well. It was an honest answer. And after all, I did have secrets of my own.
The comm screen bleeped, and Anzu's slightly harried face appeared.
"Sire? Forgive the intrusion, but may we meet? I've called the council together - we have a proposal for you."
I gaped - since when had the council acted without the King's express order? Vejiita turned to me, speaking before I could object. "I will see you later."
I frowned after him. He'd had a suspiciously eager glint in his eyes as he left. I was beginning to be very, very pissed off with being kept in the dark...
But there was nothing I could do about it right now - except maybe arrange a training session, which at least would help me work off some frustration. I called the Guard: Yonioni was free and would be happy to take me on.
The Guard's quarters were abuzz when I arrived. I caught Apyo's eye and quietly asked what was happening: he hesitated for a moment, then sighed.
"It's Guard business."
I shook my head. "That won't work. I'm still a member of the Elite Guard, even if my duties are a bit different these days."
He stared at me in shock. He'd obviously either forgotten my rank or never bothered to check it in the first place. He glanced over to where a frowning Hijau was seated at a screen, then back at me.
"Will you excuse me for a moment, my lady?"
I nodded, and he strode to join the acting captain, speaking in hushed but urgent tones. Hijau stared at me, his expression annoyed, then nodded curtly. Apyo returned to my side, looking hunted.
"It's irregular. You're not an active Guard..."
I scowled. "Just tell me, gods damn it!"
He ushered me out of the main office and into the arena, then turned to face me.
"How much do you know about the Saiya-jin/R'ren'nkh'ia-jin Alliance?"
I shrugged. "Practically nothing."
He hesitated for a moment. "Well, I can't tell you all that much myself: we haven't been given full details yet. But we think that its aims involve joint action against other worlds."
"... what...?"
He nodded. "We think - that is, there's speculation amongst the Elite Guard - that our King and their's intend joining forces to act against other worlds."
"Act how? And what the hell for?"
He stared at me. "How should I know? Perhaps the R'ren'nkh'ia-jin want to relocate. Perhaps Vejiita wants a different planet for a holiday home. Perhaps they're both fed up with straightforward trade and want to turn pirate. You're closer to Vejiita than anyone - don't you know?"
"Oh, I'm just the King's Companion." I growled, sarcastically. "He doesn't tell me anything." I frowned. "But why ally with the R'ren'nkh'ia-jin?"
"Well ..."
I interrupted as a thought struck me. "Of course, it's not easy for the two species to survive on each other's worlds, which provides both of them with a measure of security. If either wanted to invade the other, that is." I shook my head, frowning. "That doesn't explain anything."
"What do they have that we don't?"
I thought that one over for a minute. "Advanced medical expertise. And amazing skill in creating drugs. For any purpose you care to name, it seems."
"Powerful warriors, too."
"We have those."
"Why waste your own when you can use someone else's?"
We stared at each other. I already knew how ruthless Zha'geekaan could be, and nothing could stop Vejiita when he'd made up his mind he wanted something. The King liked power. And he liked being in control. A vague sense of foreboding filled me.
"Can't you find out more?"
He shrugged. "Hijau's tried, on the grounds that we really should be privy to the plans if we're to prepare effectively, but his father's being cagey."
"His father?"
"Limau. One of the council. I gather there's been some sort of glitch, somewhere, and they're trying to find a way around it."
I nodded grimly to myself. That's why Vejiita didn't want anyone to know about the prince. Zha'haabron would be High King after Zha'geekaan: rulership was hereditary on R'ren'nkh'ia as well as on Vejiitasei. With the future High King bonded to a Saiyan, even if not one of the royal family, the Alliance would be essentially unshakeable - and Zha'haabron more easily controlled. But Zha'haabron's survival was now in doubt...
"I'll see if I can find anything out. But so far Vejiita's refused to tell me anything."
He glanced over my shoulder and saluted. "Here's your sparring partner. I need to get back to work."
Yonioni was tall, and thin, and fought dirty. I had to concentrate on the bout to avoid being soundly beaten, consciously deciding to forget my queries about the Alliance until later...
Vejiita sat at the head of the table and stared at the assembled council.
"Well?"
Anzu cleared his throat, a little nervously. "Well, Sire, we've explored all the options we can come up with, and there's really only one obvious way around the problem. If the prince dies, you will have to challenge Zha'geekaan and take the throne for yourself."
© 2001 (May 5th) Joules Taylor
