Warmth
His previous visits to his bondmate's homeworld had been either politically motivated torture or terrifying life-or-death torment.
This… this was entirely different. This was normal life. He couldn't decide whether he actually liked it or not.
There was a most extraordinary - mellowness to the days on R'ren'nkh'ia. Everything assumed a slow, gracefully dignified pace, nothing was hurried, a soft, warm languidness enveloped them all.
Which didn't stop the business of Empire being done with its customary efficiency. Radittsu had watched, one morning, as the council had debated one of Vejiita's latest proposals - the sort of discussion the Saiya-jin-no-Ou might have expected to drag on for hours, if not days, in his own council - and decided upon a response in less than half an hour.
It was all so deceptive, thought the big Saiyan, smiling wryly. The lizards might seem to be pleasure-loving decadents, but ye gods they got the work done…
He loped to Zha'haabron as the discussion wound up, automatically coiling his tail across the king's now substantially swollen belly and resting warm hands very lightly across the cool blue chest. Zha'haabron glanced over his shoulder and smiled at his bondmate - a melting smile that was nearly the undoing of Radittsu. He swallowed hard and pressed a kiss to his bondmate's temple, trying to think of anything except dragging Zha'haabron to a side room and making slow love to him...
*Can you rest yet, beloved?*
The king sighed and leaned back against the Saiyan, eyes closing. Radittsu could *feel* the fatigue flooding his zkai'da's body, and wrapped his arms more tightly around Zha'haabron.
**Soon**
Radittsu glanced at Gh'heegonan, who regarded the king closely then frowned.
"My Ssii'iin, you should rest. Our meeting can wait."
Zha'haabron would have objected, but Radittsu swept him up into strong warm arms and nodded to the Regent.
"Thank you, Ssii'iir Gh'heegonan. It's time for the Ssii'iin to eat, anyway."
Zha'haabron glared briefly at the Saiyan, then gave in temporarily, regarding the big va'ha'da gravely.
"Reschedule our meeting for this afternoon."
Gh'heegonan inclined his head.
"Very well, my Ssii'iin." He looked at Radittsu. "If you're sure…"
"I am sure, Gh'heegonan."
The regent's eyes widened apprehensively at the hissed warning in the king's voice, the cold glitter in the half-closed golden eyes, and the big lizard dropped to one knee.
"Your pardon, my Ssii'iin. I meant no disrespect."
After a moment Zha'haabron relented.
"You are excused."
Gh'heegonan silently sighed with relief, stood, and ushered the bondmates from the chamber.
**Stop treating me like some kind of feeble-minded child. It erodes my authority**
Radittsu stopped in his tracks and stared down at the king, lips parted in shock. Zha'haabron took the opportunity to slip out of the Saiyan's arms and back onto his own two feet, beckoning Radittsu to walk with him, to not attract any undue attention. The Saiyan bit his lip.
*I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't realise…*
**Now you do** The king sighed. **I know you mean well, but I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions**
*But you're so tired!*
**And will become more so in the days to come. I am used to this, Rhoi'i'dat'hzziu. If the time comes when I find myself unable to cope, I will let you and Gh'heegonan know. Until then, I have a planet to rule. I would appreciate your not making it more difficult for me than it needs to be**
Thoroughly chastened, eyes downcast, Radittsu swallowed hard and nodded, and the pair walked on in silence. Once inside the suite, however, Zha'haabron turned to the big Saiyan and hugged him, kissing his throat. Radittsu hugged back tentatively.
*I really am sorry.*
**And you're forgiven. You were right, however, I do need to feed** The zn'hre smiled and stroked gently down his bondmate's warm face. **And you have my permission to pamper me in private, if you wish to do so…**
Radittsu smirked and swept Zha'haabron back up into his arms, settling him carefully down on a cushion and heading for the storeroom for a large beaker of the nutritive fruity glop Zh'leet prepared every morning.
Zha'haabron was napping by the time the children and Ti'aasaan arrived back for the midday meal, which was brought in very soon afterwards by Zh'leet and Zh'lata. Radittsu, smiling, watched them chattering quietly about the morning's lessons as they ate, helping himself from the large heaped platter Zh'leet placed at his side. It was a lovely sight. Family…
The Saiyan rested a hand lightly on his bondmate's abdomen, relishing the bright kis under his palm. He knew their hostlings had tails, and they'd most likely inherit his long thick mane, too - but the rest was a mystery. Would they look like Ti'ani and Le'leen? He glanced at the little hybrids - not so little now! - and smiled. They were beautiful. And if these new hybrids took after Zha'haabron they'd be beautiful too.
They'd started *communicating*, just with their host for now, although Zha'haabron had *welcomed* the Saiyan into his mind, to *hear* and *speak* to them. It had been wonderful, leaving Radittsu almost tearful - not that the hostlings had anything really to say, but the energy and enthusiasm and love they conveyed to their host and sire was a sheer joy. He couldn't wait to see them in the flesh, and was making plans to sneak back to R'ren'nkh'ia after a few days of FullMoon to be with Zha'haabron at their birth…
The king awoke before the children disappeared for their afternoon activities, and was immediately surrounded by hostlings asking how he felt, if he was all right, if he needed anything… He chuckled and leaned back against Radittsu's chest.
"Thank you. I feel fine, and no, I don't need anything." He glanced up as Jeice entered, back from a morning spent with Bri'seiyis, and smiled. The little subo had taken Radittsu at his word and was keeping the gentle zn'hre company every afternoon, dancing, massaging the cool green body, pleasuring the prince or making love: Zha'haarak was calmer for it, less tense, and eating and sleeping better. Radittsu had reported that Hijau was - just - coping too: Kelapa, and occasionally Kyuri, were helping him deal with the physical side of things, and *feeling* that his bondmate was less stressed was a relief as well…
At that point Zha'haarak limped into the suite, dejected as usual after his talk with Hijau but trying not to show it. Jeice beamed, ushering him over to a cushion and hastening to fetch a plate of food, then sitting beside him, coaxing him to eat, stroking the soft bright hair back from the prince's face. Charming as the sight was, and much as it was beneficial for the gentle zn'hre, there were times when Zha'haabron was concerned that the subo was becoming a little too - focussed, perhaps, a little too proprietary. That could be disastrous when the time came for them to return - for Jeice if not Zha'haarak. He'd need to speak with the little alien, find out how the subo felt, explain bonding to him if needed...
But not right now. Their bodyguards had arrived to escort the children to their afternoon activities - and Zha'haabron was due back in council. He pushed himself upright, accepting Radittsu's help. He'd known these hostlings would be bigger, and heavier, than any he'd carried before - what he hadn't taken into account was how quickly they'd grow, and how much they'd affect his balance. At a pinch he could use his own ki to correct his equilibrium, but that tired him more than usual - and, to be perfectly honest, he'd found his ki-control growing a little erratic: he preferred not to utilise it if it wasn't absolutely necessary.
Gh'heegonan looked thoroughly alarmed.
"But… my Ssii'iin…"
Zha'haabron ran a hand distractedly through his hair as Radittsu's hands gripped his shoulders.
"I am not happy with the situation either, but none of us have a choice."
One of the matters Zha'haabron and Vejiita had discussed recently was the problem of how to juggle the security requirements of the R'ren'nkh'ia-jin, the physical needs of the onworld Saiya-jin, and the requisites of FullMoon. Vejiita wanted as many offworld Saiya-jin back home for FullMoon as possible: while Zha'haabron fully understood this, his primary consideration was the safety of his world.
They'd eventually reached a compromise: neither of them liked it, but it was the best they could do under the circumstances. The Saiya-jin on R'ren'nkh'ia were to be given the choice as to whether to stay onworld or return to Vejiitasei (the exceptions being those warriors who'd been offworld last Moonyear - they had to return). To the two kings' surprise, a number of onworld Saiya-jin opted to stay - mostly, like Suguri, those who'd found partners amongst the zn'hre (although there were a few who'd taken up with other types: no accounting for taste, thought Radittsu to himself…) This still left the world severely underprotected, however…
Vejiita had gritted his teeth and seconded Nappa and his offworld fleet to stay in orbit over R'ren'nkh'ia until the normal guard could return.
Nappa had not been happy. Zha'haabron, who'd been present but out of sight of the screen when Vejiita had contacted the Commander to give him his orders, hadn't been very happy either.
"He hates non-Saiya-jin. Is he to be trusted?" he'd asked as the Saiya-jin-no-Ou cut the connection. "And when was he last onworld for FullMoon?"
Vejiita grimaced.
"Nappa refuses to submit to the moon. He has not returned for the last seven Moonyears."
Zha'haabron blinked, then frowned.
"But I thought…"
The Saiya-jin-no-Ou nodded.
"Nappa is the exception."
"And you allow it?"
Vejiita shrugged.
"My father permitted it: by the time I took the throne there was little point in objecting. Any damage that could be done had been done. Nappa survives and functions as well as ever - the only male who has ever done so."
"Is he entirely sane?"
The Saiyan grinned ferally.
"With Nappa, who can tell? I am satisfied with him. He obeys orders without question, does no personal harm to his troops - even the alien ones under his control - and is absolutely loyal to the Saiya-jin throne."
Zha'haabron inclined his head.
"But not the Alliance."
"As long as the Alliance is of benefit to the throne, he will support it."
"His strength? Ki-manipulation?"
"Somewhat less than yours - but what he lacks in power he makes up for in ferocity and tactical skills." Vejiita smirked. "And he doesn't give up. Ever."
The zn'hre nodded pensively.
"He sounds - formidable."
"Dedicated. So much so he had the major nerves to his tail surgically severed so that it can't be used against him."
Zha'haabron's eyes widened. The thought of a Saiyan willingly losing the extraordinary sensitivity of his tail was frightening. He frowned.
"And his troops? What of the male Saiya-jin in his forces?"
"Most of them will return. The female warriors will remain, as will the various aliens." He smiled without humour. "Don't worry. You'll be well protected. You're too valuable to me for me to risk any harm coming to you."
"Very well. He will remain in orbit?"
Vejiita nodded.
"They all will. It's the safest option. Safest for you, that is."
"And after FullMoon?"
"I'll have the warriors return as soon as possible."
Zha'haabron leaned back in his seat, frowning.
"This - need to experience FullMoon on Vejiitasei is something of a liability, is it not? What if anything were to happen to your moon?"
The king's eyes glittered coldly.
"The moon is protected."
"I am very glad to hear it."
"I knew you would be…"
Gh'heegonan rested his face in massive clawed hands.
"This is asking for disaster."
Radittsu shook his head.
"Nappa is good - and his reputation will scare off most would-be attackers. Everything's quiet in the neighbourhood - isn't it?" He glanced at Zha'haabron, who nodded confirmation. "You won't even know he's here. And it's not for long. We'll be back as soon as we can."
The big va'ha'da sighed and pulled himself upright.
"Very well. We will have to make the best of it. At least our own troops are at battle-readiness. Should I inform everyone?"
The king frowned.
"It might be best to keep it as quiet as possible, to avoid panic. The R'ren'nkh'ia-jin have become accustomed to a large, protective Saiya-jin force onworld: having them recalled, no matter for how short a time, might be alarming for our people."
"They'll still notice."
"I know… Very well. Advise the chiefs of what is happening, but ensure they understand that we will be equally - if not better - protected. If we can play down the situation, so much the better."
Gh'heegonan grinned.
"I'll have Sh'reannon do it. He's proving extremely adept at inter-sshli'thsen communication and politics."
Zha'haabron raised an eyebrow.
"Indeed. Perhaps I should have 'haabron spend some time with him."
"I can arrange that for you, my Ssii'iin." The lizard hesitated for a moment, then, "my Ssii'iin, might I ask - is little Zha'haabron your chosen successor?"
"He has shown most promise to date, and I wish him to have access to all the information necessary to a prince. I will not make final choices until all the hostlings are grown, however."
Gh'heegonan nodded, smiling. He liked the little zn'hre prince: the hostling was charming, intelligent and perceptive - just like his sire.
"Now, my Ssii'iin, let's take a short break before the council reconvenes. There are several urgent matters on the agenda - first, we need to address the ongoing problem of the gn'ap'pa and gn'ick'lehe shortages…"
Hijau thrust hard one last time and came, pulsing into Kelapa's body for the second time that night. She sighed and glanced back over her shoulder.
"Better?"
The male pulled out and flopped onto his back on the bed, one arm over his eyes as he forced back tears. He felt rather than saw Kelapa pull herself up to kneel beside him.
He didn't want this. He knew Kelapa didn't want it either. He hated himself for giving in to the overwhelming need even as he knew he had no choice: if it hadn't been Kel - and Kyuri, sometimes, during the day - it would have been someone else. But all he wanted was to have Zha'haarak in his arms again.
Kel stroked his mane, her touch soft, sympathetic. By tacit mutual consent they didn't face each other when they fucked, nor did their tails touch. She was used to the bruises on her hips by now: as FullMoon approached, and Hijau became more desperate, he became a nightly fixture in the bed…
His body began to shake under her hands, and she lay beside him, pulling him into a hug, feeling his tears damp on her shoulder.
"…I'm sorry…"
"Don't be."
He took a shuddering breath, then brushed a hand impatiently across his face, realising she was still unsatisfied. Ignoring her startled yelp he slid swiftly down her body, settling himself between her legs, arms under her spread thighs, reaching up, his fingers teasing her nipples as he licked firmly at her groin. Tasting himself, mingled with her own wetness, as he teased her nub with his tongue.
She gasped and her hips jerked upwards, her hands buried in his red-gold mane as he increased the pressure of his tongue, flicked his thumbs across her nipples - then pinched them, sucking as he scented her climax approaching. She moaned as she came, her thighs gripping his neck, quivering, then slowly relaxing and pulling him back up to lie alongside her. Rolling her eyes and shaking her head in despair as she felt his body trembling, erection hot and hard against her hip.
She rolled onto her stomach and pulled herself onto all fours once more, distantly relieved that she was off-duty tomorrow as he plunged into her again…
Kyuri waited impatiently, tail twitching irritably, as the big transport set down at the spaceport.
"Finally!!" she muttered as the heavy doors opened and the first of the offworld warriors to return home filed from the vehicle. She still had to wait a good quarter of an hour before she saw the person she'd come here to meet, though...
"NASU!"
But her twin didn't hear her shout, engrossed as she was in conversation with - Kyuri peered, squinting against the sunslight, then grinned delightedly - Jagung and Merica! And surely that was Marul behind them…
Ignoring propriety she took to the air, swooping down to land and grab her sister into a bone-creaking hug.
"How are you, you little ama!?"
Nasu laughed and hugged back, rather harder, and Kyuri raised an eyebrow. Her twin was significantly stronger than the last time they'd seen each other - six, or was it seven? years ago…
Merica smirked, handsome features as wickedly smouldering as ever.
"Don't I get one?"
Kyuri grinned at him.
"And risk Jagung tearing my arms off? I don't think so!"
The slender, dark-red-haired warrior laughed, his grey-green eyes sparkling.
"Oh, I don't think one hug will hurt…"
Marul grinned at her.
"So what's the news?"
The returnees had dumped their few belonging in the temporary dormitories - once FullMoon took effect they wouldn't be staying there anyway: everyone would move out from the cities to avoid too much damage to the buildings - and assembled in the main messhall, which was currently seething with warriors eating, drinking, getting re-acquainted with old comrades and casting an eye over potential partners for the season. (A snarling Merica had already had to warn off several hopefuls who tried to attract Jagung's - or his own - attention.)
"How behind are you? You heard about Rad-san?"
"Bonded with a lizard! Royal one at that! What's he doing for FullMoon?"
"He'll be back here, but only for the thirty days. The king's pregnant with his cubs - sorry, hostlings."
Marul blinked.
"We can interbreed?"
"Not without help! You heard that little baita Sheftali killed herself?"
"Yup. No real loss."
"You know Zorun's taken an alien as mate?"
Merica and Jagung stopped fondling each other and stared at her.
"You're joking! Zorun? How the fuck did that happen?"
Kyuri took a long pull from her ale and grinned.
"Not only that, she's carrying his cub!"
Marul was shaking his head.
"I don't believe it… There's hope for Nappa yet…"
"Not a chance!" snarled Merica, dark golden eyes flashing as he wrapped his arms and tail more tightly around his mate. Kyuri raised an eyebrow.
"Oh dear… What happened?"
Marul grinned.
"Oh, the usual. Nappa felt horny, no females handy, he picked on Jagung."
Kyuri glanced at Merica.
"You fought him?"
Jagung answered for the scowling warrior, expression sombre, one hand stroking through his mate's thick, spiky dark mane.
"He did. Did some major damage too. But he lost - and that bastard hurt him badly. He still thought he'd have me - so I told him if he tried I'd chew his inkei off and shove it up his own ass…"
Kyuri and Nasu roared with laughter.
"Oh, Nappa wouldn't have liked that… And he let you go?"
Jagung shook his head.
"No. Shoved me down on my knees and shoved himself into my mouth - said he'd teach me what my mouth was for. So I bit him. Hard. You could have heard his scream back on Vejiitasei."
Nasu was staring, round-eyed.
"But… you're both still alive!"
Jagung nodded, grinning.
"Melocoto heard the scream. Raced to see what was happening. Was not happy to see what he was up to. Told him if he ever laid a finger on either of us again she'd finish the job I'd started and let the entire military know about it." He shook his head. "I don't know what sort of hold she's got over him but she's definitely someone to keep on your good side…"
Merica nodded.
"She is one fuckin' scary female…"
Kyuri chuckled. She'd heard rumours, and it was generally known Melocoto was incredibly possessive…
Marul finished his ale and refilled his beaker from the enormous jug in the centre of the table.
"So where's Hijau? Haven't seen him yet."
Kyuri's face clouded.
"Ah…"
Merica's face was full of sympathy when Kyuri had finished.
"That's fuckin' awful."
Kyuri nodded.
"You two are bonded, aren't you? Is there any way you can help him?"
Merica glanced at his mate. "I remember what it felt like, being separated. Not sure we can do much more than sympathise, though."
"Even that would help."
Jagung was frowning.
"Why is Vejiita keeping them apart? Hijau was onworld last Moonyear, wasn't he?"
Kyuri nodded, smiling at the memory.
"Then he could be with the lizard for this one. By next Moonyear their bond will be that much stronger, it'll be that much easier for them to deal with the separation."
The female shrugged.
"I've no idea. Leteetza's asked, even the High King's asked, but Vejiita just won't release him." She sighed. "I assume he has some good reason, but I'm buggered if I can work out what it is…"
"So are you going to help him through FullMoon?"
"Looks like I might have to. Can't say I'm looking forward to it. He likes to play rough these days: if - heh, 'if'? more like 'when'! - he loses control it's going to hurt…"
Ti'aasaan woke with a start several hours before dawn to find 'zhasaan sitting bolt upright, eyes huge as he tugged nervously at his hair. The little zn'hre pulled him close, trying not disturb anyone, keeping his voice low.
"What is it, sweetheart?"
"Had a strange dream, maazi."
"It frightened you?"
The hostling bit his lip.
"Not 'frightened', maazi…" He frowned. "It was… We went somewhere high up, and there was a sort of building there, covered with growing things. And there was a zn'hre there too, a grown-up - but he wasn't quite like us. He held out his arms and smiled." 'zhasaan hugged his host. "It was a beautiful smile. And he said - 'come and find me'."
Ti'aasaan rocked the hostling gently, smiling.
"It was just a dream, little one. You've met so many new people just recently…"
"No, maazi, this was different. He wasn't any of the zn'hre I've met. He was different. And it wasn't just a dream. I want to go and find him."
The little zn'hre frowned.
"But sweetheart, we don't know where to look."
"Somewhere up high, maazi."
Ti'aasaan sighed. The only high place on R'ren'nkh'ia was the far southern - and taboo - mountain range, three days travel further south than Ish'nadris' enclave. He stroked the hostling's face.
"I'll have to ask papa."
"Can you ask him now?"
Ti'aasaan shook his head.
"Zk'viss, papa need lots of rest right now."
'zhasaan nodded, biting his lip.
"I know. I'm sorry. When he wakes up?"
"I promise…"
It wasn't until later that afternoon that Ti'aasaan had the chance to mention the hostling's dream - as he'd promised, but dismissing it as no more than a child's fancy. But Zha'haabron had frowned, eyes suddenly haunted by a memory from his own childhood…
"I had hoped to visit with Ish'nadris in any case."
Radittsu had been horrified.
"Beloved, please! What if anything were to happen while you're away from Vinas?"
Zha'haabron had cocked an eyebrow.
"We will take Vinas with us."
The Saiyan had scowled.
"It's a stupid idea! I don't want you to go."
The king fixed him with a steady stare.
"Perhaps I should make the trip while you are back on Vejiitasei."
Radittsu gaped, then closed his eyes.
"You would, too, wouldn't you?"
Zha'haabron took his hand, smiling through long lashes, and Radittsu shivered, thoroughly distracted.
"Come, beloved. It's a chance for the hostlings to see more of the planet - consider it part of Mahrayne's schooling. We'll wait until Leteetza and the heirs are here and all go together.
Ti'aasaan swallowed nervously.
"But, my Ssii'iin… aren't those mountains forbidden?"
"Supposedly, yes. I wonder why? Perhaps we could find out."
Radittsu inclined his head.
"Is there anything dangerous there?"
"Nothing that I'm aware of - although in truth very little is known about the area. Have one of the orbiting ships run a spectroscopic analysis to make sure."
Ti'aasaan folded his arms across his chest and pouted.
"You really mean to do this?"
Zha'haabron smiled.
"It will be exciting for the children. It will be interesting for us. And it will be a pleasant break from routine for me. After all, this is my realm. I should know it rather better than I do at present."
And suddenly it was two days before Leteetza and the heirs were due to leave Vejiitasei. The hybrids were beside themselves with excitement, and 'haabron and 'raadiin couldn't stop grinning: there was so much they wanted to show and tell their friends. And the adults looked forward to being reunited with the little warrior: the family had felt a little - incomplete without her…
"It's the first time she's been off Vejiitasei." Zha'haarak told Jeice as they tried hard to settle the hostlings for the night. "It will be very interesting to see what she makes of our world."
Jeice smiled, forcing down painful memories. The first time he'd been offworld had been with Ambassador Bataa, on a leash at the Omanir's side, petted, fondled, and finally fucked repeatedly over a table by the five drunken 'guests' his master was entertaining at the time. Training notwithstanding he'd been in agony and unable to walk or sit or even lie comfortably for three days afterwards. The incredible beauty of the planet, rich lush forest filled with birdsong and the music of running water, was entirely lost to him…
He was aware, too, of his now-rapidly diminishing ki. The effort it took to fly left him exhausted - not that anyone had noticed: Jeice had learned very very early in his life to disguise his true feelings, his fatigue, his state of health… - and very soon he wouldn't be able to manage flight at all. If only there were green growing things nearby…
Zha'haarak was gazing at him anxiously.
"Are you all right?"
The subo smiled at the prince, touched by the gentle concern, the incredible quiet strength of the suffering zn'hre. He caught a slender green hand and kissed the fingers.
"Thank you, your highness. I'm fine. A little tired, perhaps."
Zha'haarak frowned slightly, aware that there was more to it than that, but unwilling to pry. Jeice had never been in love, but he could see why Hijau had fallen so completely for the gentle zn'hre - the prince was so considerate, so perceptive, so adorable. Then he smiled, and the subo melted.
"Please Jeice, will you call me by name? I'm not really a prince… well, I suppose I am, but I don't feel like one and I'll never be in line for the throne."
The subo inclined his head, eyes twinkling.
"May I call you hasshkaen?"
Zha'haarak hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
"If it pleases you…"
The transport lifted off, carrying the King's Companion and the king's heirs to R'ren'nkh'ia and Hijau was left behind, pain a screaming wound inside him. How he made it back to the suite he'd never know.
A couple of nights ago he'd finally given in to Kyuri's nagging and met up with some of his old colleagues for a drink. She'd meant well, he knew that, but the sight of Jagung and Merica - bonded mates now for ten years, supremely happy with each other and unconsciously radiating a deep contentment - had only made his isolation worse. He'd apologised and fled back to the suite - a little later almost raping Kelapa in his anguish as he sobbed his pain and loneliness into the air.
Now he knelt before the huge screen, both hands pressed to the image of Zha'haarak's palms. The gentle zn'hre was in tears, his voice a choked whisper.
"It's so hard, zkai'din."
The Saiyan swallowed, forcing back his own tears. Never had the impulse to disobey orders and hi-jack a ride to R'ren'nkh'ia seemed like such a good idea… It would be the end of his career, and he'd have to leave Vejiitasei for good, but right now that meant nothing. He needed to be with his mate. He couldn't survive much longer without the gentle zn'hre in his arms…
And Zha'haarak *felt* what he was thinking and shook his head frantically.
"You cannot!"
"Yes I can."
"You must not. Please, zkai'din, do not so. It is not so long. We can endure."
"But… It hurts. I need you. And I *know* you need me too..."
Zha'haarak closed his eyes, biting back a sob.
"But to do this thing would be dishonourable. Would be wrong."
"I don't care."
The prince stared at his bondmate, expression suddenly angry.
"But I do. And I will not cause problems for the Ssii'iin."
Hijau stared disbelievingly, eyes wide as tears streamed unregarded down his face.
"How can you be so selfless when you're hurting like this! When we're both hurting so much…"
Huge golden eyes stared into deepest green with a desperate determination Hijau found frightening.
"Because, zkai'din, except for this last year, my whole life has been nothing but pain. What are three hundred days of loss compared to sixty years of agony?"
Hijau stared, open-mouthed - then lowered his head, horrified and humbled and overwhelmed by his own selfishness. Zha'haarak smiled, lips trembling.
"No, you must not feel like that. I *know* how hard this season is for you. But please, beloved, please do not be rash. All things will be sweeter, kinder, for us if we can endure…"
Slumping forward with a sob, Hijau nodded - and was suddenly *filled* with a strange, delicate strength.
**Sth'ish'tisiin zv'ah'hi'a shamai maas shan't'ia'mis, zkai'da**
Raising his eyes to the screen, he nodded.
*You are my life, too.*
Zha'haarak stroked a hand down the screen: Hijau could swear he felt the echo of it down his face.
**You must do what you must to survive** The gentle zn'hre smiled tremulously. **It is so good, knowing I have a home to come back to… be strong, zk'aida, please be strong…**
Hijau nodded slowly.
*I will be here.*
**I love you…**
Unsatisfied, aching, Hijau finally dragged himself away from the monitor and back to the suite, to find Kelapa pacing, tail lashing, her scent - confusing. He frowned.
"What's wrong?"
The female turned to him, expression worried.
"Don't know. Think it's 'Rayne…"
They barely had time to scent the blood before the Hassinan practically fell into the suite, both hands clutched to her badly bleeding neck. Kel leapt forwards and caught her before she hit the floor. The warrior's face was grim.
"Zorun."
Mahrayne's voice was a wavering wail.
"He… he claimed me!"
Hijau saw red. Literally. Mahrayne's terrified, furious, anguished scent, and the scent of her blood - arousing, energising - and his loathing of Zorun, and the lack of his bondmate, and the coming moon…
He flung himself from the suite and headed unerringly for the larger, stronger, more powerful Guard.
© 2002 May 7th Joules Taylor
Sweet heart, selfless one. A rare and special endearment.
Meaning, roughly - "You are my world, my reason for existing, the one who holds my life within his hands: without you I wither and die, am nothing… my life begins and ends in you, beloved."
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