Don't forget to check out Joules' companion FullMoon sequence!
Exile pt 3
Nonnia looked up from her embroidery to the small group of females and children sitting cross-legged on cushions around Mahrayne. The white-haired female's audience was wide-eyed and attentive, hanging on her every word as she described, again, the hunt she'd participated in while she'd been on Vejiitasei. Mahrayne's listeners gasped in unison when she vividly described being bitten by that animal - what was it again? a grittig – leaning forward to show them the scar on her hand from the bite. Mahrayne had missed her calling – Nonnia thought – she should have been a story teller; she'd always been able to describe things with such clarity it was if it was happening to you, and she certainly had the imagination for it! Not that the older female doubted a word Mahrayne had to say about her adventures on Vejiitasei, but some of it sounded too much like fantasy.
It was good to have Mahrayne back, good to have her bright presence lightening up the household again – she'd been missed, even if she didn't think so. The older female studied her terteria from beneath lowered lashes. Mahrayne had changed; she was more confident now and she seemed to have lost some of that diffidence that had marked aspects of her behaviour previously. But, she was unhappy here, more than she'd ever been before she left.
Mahrayne had hardly danced since she arrived. Nonnia frowned - that was very unusual, Mahrayne needed to dance the way others needed to breathe. Only once before had Mahrayne not danced for such a long period of time, and that was when Genesia had died. Mahrayne had mourned her teacher, her lover, so deeply that Nonnia had feared for the female's life. What was she mourning now?
Mahrayne was trying to hide her unhappiness but Nonnia was well aware of how often her terteria cried. Still, underneath her unhappiness there was a shimmering contentment, almost a glow - -
Nonnia's hand stilled over her work as a horrible suspicion burst into her mind.
No, that was ridiculous.
Mahrayne was ineligible to breed, and the female knew her genetic responsibilities – she wouldn't, couldn't be so irresponsible.
But Nonnia watched the younger female as Mahrayne finished her story and got up off the floor, stretching luxuriously before wandering off to get something to eat.
The older female's heart froze.
Oh gods.
It wasn't immediately obvious, but there was something about the way the female carried herself, something about the way her robe draped...
Mahrayne was pregnant.
Nonnia's heart started beating again; she wasn't completely certain of it, but it explained Mahrayne's poorly concealed moods and irritability - her uneven appetite. It also explained why Mahrayne had lately stayed clothed as far as possible, going against her usual habit of being near naked within the household.
Nonnia was suddenly swamped by a flood of terror for Mahrayne. This was bad, this was very bad. The father had to be an alien, no Hassinan male would go near an ineligible female.
What had the child been thinking?
Damn her curiosity! The older female had no doubt it was Mahrayne's overwhelming desire to know that had been behind this. She should never have been allowed off-planet! She should never have been allowed the opportunity to indulge her curiosity about something she'd otherwise have no cause to experience.
Nonnia worried at her bottom lip, glancing nervously over at the sleeping Tella.
What should she do? She should inform Tella, or Astolan… but she couldn't. Nonnia didn't like to hazard what the consequences of this would be, but while she silently cursed the young female's foolhardiness, a small part of her was rejoicing: Nonnia couldn't forget the countless times she'd comforted the young Hassinan as she cried herself to sleep, heartbroken because she could never have children. The longer it was before Tella found out, the longer Mahrayne would be left in relative peace - and the less likely it was that something could be done about the child.
Nonnia made her decision to stay silent and begged Etute and Etats that it was the right one.
Nonnia was not looking forward to – no, she was dreading - Tella finding out about her daughter's pregnancy. But she would, and soon, and then she'd make life hell for Mahrayne.
The animosity between mother and daughter had always made Nonnia sad. If only Tella could look beyond her misplaced resentment of her daughter and see what a loving, compassionate, intelligent and yes, beautiful - even if she didn't conform to Hassinan standards of beauty - child she'd given birth to.
And if only Mahrayne could forgive her mother for that resentment.
Tella blamed Mahrayne for her not being allowed to breed again, even though it couldn't be Mahrayne's fault - a child wasn't responsible for their genetics.
Tella had come from an impeccable bloodline – there had been no imperfect children for several generations – and she'd been gifted to a male who also had an impeccable bloodline. By rights their child should have been perfect too, but she wasn't, and because Tella had birthed an imperfect child she wasn't allowed to breed anymore. For Tella, whose pride in her faultless genetics had been fostered and nurtured since she was a baby, it was a devastating blow. It might have mollified the beautiful female a little if the child had at least been pretty - but she wasn't, and it was yet another blow to Tella's towering pride.
The tragedy of it was that Tella had almost miscarried early in her pregnancy. She'd fought hard to save the child, only to end up believing it had all been a waste of effort. Nonnia knew that every time Tella looked at her daughter, the thought uppermost in her mind was that she should have let her die...
Nonnia sighed. Tella had never taken the time to understand her daughter, preferring instead to focus on the child's faults.
Hassinan females were very open about sex and it wasn't unusual for someone to have multiple partners but Mahrayne was, frankly, promiscuous; aggressively so, and from a very young age. More than once Tella, and Nonnia, had been confronted by an irate mother complaining that Mahrayne had bullied their child into sex. Tella had simply been disgusted, maintaining that the child was weak, had no control and was ruled by her sensuous nature. Nonnia had hidden her astonished amusement at that hypocritical comment; Mahrayne certainly didn't get her 'sensuous nature' from her father. Mahrayne had always apologised and been genuinely sorry for causing distress, but it hadn't stopped her - to Tella's mind - ruthless pursuit of sensation. However, Nonnia believed Mahrayne's jumping from partner to partner wasn't motivated by the need to indulge her senses, but was instead her way of searching for something, someone, to ease the ever-present loneliness she probably wasn't consciously aware of.
Nonnia had hoped that Mahrayne had found what she was looking for with Genesia. It had seemed so at first. The couple were emotionally close even before they became lovers; and for the several years they were partnered, they were exclusive, and Mahrayne seemed very happy. But even before Genesia got sick, Nonnia had observed the signs of restlessness in Mahrayne again. No doubt, if Genesia had lived, she might have been content with only Mahrayne, but Mahrayne wouldn't have been content only with her.
Nonnia suspected she knew the cause of Mahrayne's loneliness, but would never have mentioned it. Apart from being bound by the Lead Speaker to silence on the matter, it couldn't do Mahrayne any good to know. But sometimes, Nonnia wondered how different things might have been.
Mahrayne woke with a small gasp, her slim hand immediately delving between her thighs, stroking herself to finish the climax that had started while she'd been asleep.
Panting lightly, she collapsed back onto the felt mattress. She was alone - she could hear Pirum out in the common room – and the curtains were drawn so she curled into a ball and allowed herself the luxury of tears. She missed her Saiyans with a heart-breaking ache: and she missed 'tiisaan, and she missed the family…
There was no point crying, though, there was nothing she could do about it yet.
Mahrayne wiped her eyes and thought about getting up.
This was the longest amount of time she'd gone without sex, ever, since she'd first discovered it, and it was getting… uncomfortable. Not for the first time, Mahrayne contemplated taking up one of the females on their offer of sex.
What harm could it do? Kel may not like it, but she'd understand, and Zorun probably wouldn't be bothered if it was a female.
Not that it was any of his business!
Mahrayne took a few deep, steadying breaths against the surge of hot anger; she still hadn't completely resigned herself to the real - or worse, imagined - restrictions associated with being claimed...
But if she had sex with someone now, her baby would be discovered, and she just wasn't ready to deal with that yet. She sighed and gently stroked her slightly rounded abdomen; it couldn't be kept secret much longer. Even though she'd taken to bathing when no one else was around, and staying dressed all other times in the loosest robes she possessed, the evidence of her child was there to see for anyone with eyes to look. Mahrayne sighed again; the decision to have sex or not was pointless in any case -chances were that when the secret was out, no one would want to come near her anyway.
Possibly.
Mahrayne had no idea how anyone, other than Tella, would react, and the not knowing was making her anxious, but - she guessed it was prudent to assume she wouldn't be having sex before she got back to Vejiitasei.
Mahrayne arranged to see her younger brother. It was something she'd been planning on doing since returning, and visiting with him would help distract her for a little while.
She liked Malum. He was open and friendly and considerate and sweet. Normally that would have been enough, but he was also Genesia's son, and Mahrayne had helped raise him. There was an area of neutral territory between the males' and females' quarters. It was a small, comfortable cavern, next to the administration zone, where visits between family members - or the carefully chaperoned pre-'gifting' meetings of the male and his female - could take place.
Mahrayne had timed it well - Malum was taking a few days rest between hunts.
"It's good to see you, 'rayne." Malum stood up and beamed at her when she entered the cavern. The young male towered over her; he briefly touched her shoulder, the only physical contact that custom permitted. He fetched her a beaker of rhotidau - a salty, deceptively mild liqueur - and they reclined comfortably on large cushions near the firepit, facing each other.
Mahrayne took a moment to study her brother. Malum would never have the same muscular physique as the Saiyans, but he'd filled out since the last time she'd seen him. And he was well-groomed, for a change, his long pale gold hair properly combed and neatly caught back in metal bands. Mahrayne resisted the urge to check under his fingernails; he was the only child she knew who could get dirty in the bath. Malum was looking fit and happy, the life of a hunter was obviously good for him.
They chatted amiably for a while. Malum was enthralled with her description of Vejiitasei, and delighted with her gift of the cured hide from the grittig she'd caught. And he had news of his own.
"My first two females will be coming to me soon." he said bashfully.
"That's wonderful!"
Mahrayne thought it couldn't have been that long since the two infant sisters Ientus and Iocor from Furax's Household had been promised to Malum, and here they were already turning twenty! Time passes so quickly!
"Soon you'll be a father?" Mahrayne teased her brother, delighted at his deep blush. "When will they be arriving?"
"During lasufe."
"Good, I'll get a chance to meet them."
The silence stretched - Malum looked uncomfortable.
"Actually, 'rayne, I was wondering if you had any advice for me? On how to behave with them? Or what to do with them? I've had the training of course…" in his embarrassment Malum was speaking too quickly, on the verge of babbling - Mahrayne took pity on her little brother.
"Use your tongue to pleasure them."
"What?" he almost spilled his drink.
"And take the time you have with them to learn what they like, and to show them what you like."
Malum was dumbfounded.
"I'm serious, Malum, there is more to mating than simply putting your penis in them. It should be pleasurable for everybody." Mahrayne fancied she could feel the heat from his blush from where she was sitting.
"Here's an idea – " she said seriously, "I know it's not usual - but maybe they would like to come to you together?" Mahrayne frowned in thought. "That depends of course on how they feel about it, but they're sisters, they've been together all their lives, maybe it will be easier for them if they are together in this, at least for their first time with you?"
Mahrayne demurely sipped her drink - Malum appeared to have forgotten about his.
She went on - "Scando's females are always eager to go to him, perhaps you could ask him what it is he - " she paused at the cringingly shocked and embarrassed look on her brother's face.
"What?"
"I can't do that!" Malum replied in a strangled whisper.
"Why not?"
"What happens between a male and female is - private."
"Ah." Mahrayne leant back and covered her grin with her hand. "You don't talk about sex in the males' quarters?"
Malum's emphatic head shake was eloquent.
"Ah." Mahrayne said again.
The males didn't talk about sex? What did they talk about? Sex was a favourite topic of discussion amongst the females – thankfully – because if the breeding females didn't instruct each other in how to get the, um, best out of their males, no one would be satisfied!
"Scando's females are quite explicit in their descriptions: maybe I could - "
"No! ... thank you." Malum grated out.
Mahrayne smothered her grin, and stopped herself laughing by concentrating on her drink. When she felt she had a measure of control again, she glanced up at her brother. Malum looked so young and hopeful - Mahrayne's heart went out to him.
"Would you like me to talk to Ientus and Iocor?"
"Please." He smiled the winsome little smile he used to give her when he was tiny, before he went to live with the males, and Mahrayne melted.
"Very well, because you're my baby brother…"
Mahrayne laughed when he glared at her, Malum had always hated being called 'baby'.
She finished her drink and stood up.
"I have to go, Malum, it's been good talking to you."
"And you, 'rayne."
She smiled at him and headed out - Malum's hesitant enquiry stopped her at the thickly curtained door.
"Do - do the females talk about sex much?"
Mahrayne suppressed her grin, and looked back over her shoulder at him with a serene expression.
"It comes up in conversation every now and again."
Mahrayne gave a tiny smile at her brother's obvious relief. There was no need to burden him with the knowledge of just how much discussion and dissecting of the males' techniques went on in the females' quarters.
It would only make him nervous.
Leteetza had told her the family were going on an expedition soon. Mahrayne had been more unsettled by that than she cared to admit, or to let Leteetza see - the little female had enough worries of her own. But she was relieved - again more than she cared to admit - that 'tiisaan and 'viirel would be staying behind. It was the thought of being able to spend some time with 'tiisaan that stopped her from becoming completely depressed. But despite her misery, Mahrayne couldn't help being caught up in the children's infectious enthusiasm - they were so excited about the trip, especially 'zhasaan. Mahrayne smiled to herself as she made her way back to her father's household; the young zn'hre's eyes had positively glowed as he'd talked to her – it was beautiful, and strangely uplifting.
Her softly happy mood couldn't last though...
"Daughter." Tella's clipped tone startled Mahrayne out of her reverie. Mahrayne assumed the pleasant, demure mask she wore when interacting with her mother, even as her heart leapt into her throat.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Come with me."
And with that, Tella strode out of the common room and set off down one of the winding corridors. Mahrayne had no choice but to follow.
Mahrayne's hands trembled and she clasped them tightly in front of when she realised where they were heading.
The Healer's quarters.
Her stomach churned, but she welcomed the fatalistic calm spreading through her; it appeared that, finally, her secret was going to be revealed – it was something of a relief.
Sure enough, Tella led her straight to Pinguis's rooms in the area where the teverdia's - the females skilled in matters of childbirth - practiced their craft.
Pinguis was old, old enough for her face to be lined and for the skin on her gentle hands to show their veins through. Mahrayne stood quietly to one side, her eyes downcast and her hands clasped over her abdomen, while Tella murmured something to the teverdia.
"Come over here, Mahrayne." Pinguis said softly, her hand at Mahrayne's elbow. Mahrayne forced herself to move, despite the fine tremors running through her, and lay down on the narrow felt mattress in the middle of the floor.
Mahrayne had never felt so vulnerable, so alone. She fought to steady her breathing as she watched the old female with huge, frightened eyes. Pinguis was calm and gentle, her face creasing up in a warm smile, and Mahrayne felt a tiny bit better.
The teverdia lifted Mahrayne's robe up past her waist, her silver-grey eyebrows lifting ever so slightly at what she saw. Pinguis gently palpated Mahrayne's abdomen, then nudged her thighs apart before slipping a couple of long fingers inside her, probing carefully.
Pinguis had her back to Mahrayne's mother, so Tella didn't see the enormous beaming grin the teverdia bestowed on Mahrayne as she pulled her robe back down, or the gentle pat, like a benediction, on her belly. Mahrayne smiled hesitantly, a slim shaft of hope lifting her heart - maybe the world wasn't about to end?
"You little idiot!" Tella's voice was pure contempt; Pinguis had confirmed her suspicions with a single nod. "This is the work of one of those Saiyans isn't it?" she spat. Mahrayne said nothing and didn't look at her mother. "Astolan will have to know about this!"
Pinguis helped Mahrayne to stand, then hugged the shorter female warmly, kissing her on the cheek, deliberately ignoring the fuming Tella.
"Congratulations, precious," she whispered into Mahrayne's ear, "this is a wonderful thing."
Mahrayne clung to the old female, thankful beyond words for her support; then, sniffing back tears, she stepped away from the teverdia and meekly followed her mother as Tella stormed out of the Healer's area.
Tella marched straight to the administration zone and firmly requested to see Astolan. When he arrived he took one look at Tella's face - and who was with her - and took them both into a smaller, private area.
"What's she done now?" he demanded of his female.
"Oh she's done something spectacularly stupid this time." There was a malicious relish to Tella's words. She paused for effect. "She's pregnant."
Astolan blanched.
"What do you have to say?" he snapped at Mahrayne, who kept her silence and didn't lift her gaze from the floor. "Who's the father?" Astolan swore when his daughter refused to answer.
"I've no doubt this is some alien's get," Tella said viciously. Astolan straightened up and faced the older female.
"The best thing to do is get rid of the child - "
Mahrayne's head snapped up.
"No!" she gasped.
"I'll organise that." Tella said smoothly.
"No!"
Astolan continued "And under the circumstances I think it's best if she doesn't return to Vejiitasei."
"No!" Mahrayne shouted.
Astolan stared coldly at her.
"How dare you defy me. This is the last time…-"
"I am keeping this child," Mahrayne asserted in a low voice, "and I am returning to Vejiitasei."
"You are not keeping this - monster!"
Mahrayne snarled. "It's not a monster!"
"No?" Astolan sneered, "with your genetic damage and being fathered by an alien? It couldn't be anything but!" He stepped close and for one crazed moment Mahrayne thought he was going to hit her. "I will not have our bloodlines polluted - "
"They can't get any worse! " Mahrayne raged.
Astolan took an involuntary step back from her sudden anger.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, father, that despite years of effort and control we are no closer to cleaning our gene pool up than we were before the G'gecks arrived! Our birth rate is falling, the number of imperfect children being born is increasing and nearly half of our breeding females aren't conceiving. If things continue this way we won't have a viable gene pool within ten generations! One hybrid child will hardly tip the rock that crushes us!"
Astolan stared at her again; Tella stepped in.
"And what do you, with all your worldly knowledge, think should be done?" the female said with heavy sarcasm.
Mahrayne struggled for calm.
"Widen the breeding pool, let those females with almost clear charts breed – or let the G'gecks help us, they've been trying to for centuries - "
"How do you know that?" Astolan demanded, "that's Council business!"
"What goes on in Council is hardly secret!" Mahrayne's temper flared again, "I've been to every Council meeting I could - with your permission - since I was fifteen; the details of the meetings I wasn't able to attend - and for every Council meeting for the past seven hundred years - are in the fucking public record!"
Tella gasped, then rounded on her daughter.
"And you're trying to cloud the issue! You are not keeping the child - "
"What child?"
The Lead Speaker's smooth tone effortlessly blanketed Tella's vitriol. Mahrayne forced back a sob.
Marldus! She had never been so glad to see someone, but would he intervene on her behalf over this? She absently noticed Nonnia trying to be inconspicuous behind the imposing male.
"What child?" Marldus asked again, pleasantly but firmly into the strained silence.
Astolan recovered first. "With respect, Lead Speaker - Marldus - this is none of your business - "
"If there is a disruption in my Household, it is my business."
"I'd like to know how you found out about the disruption…" Tella murmured, glaring at Nonnia. Marldus quelled the silver-haired female with a look, then turned back to his advisor.
"Astolan?"
Astolan swallowed, then smoothly took the offensive.
"Mahrayne is pregnant. She won't tell us who the father is, but we assume it's some alien. In light of that, and because the child is probably not viable anyway given her genetics, I've decided it's for the best if the pregnancy is terminated now rather than put my daughter through any further trauma."
Marldus was silent while he considered the situation.
"So the heart of the matter is your concern that Mahrayne's child isn't viable?"
Tella and Astolan looked at each other and relaxed fractionally, they nodded in unison.
"But what if it is viable?" Marldus asked.
Uncertain now, and disbelieving, Mahrayne's parents looked at each other again, helplessly this time - where was this leading?
"I suggest a compromise." Marldus said. "Mahrayne will go to G'geckah for tests. If the child is healthy, she can keep it, if not, then the pregnancy will be terminated. Is this agreeable to you?" he asked Mahrayne.
Agreeable? Considering she already knew her baby was perfect?
Mahrayne nodded, struggling not to let her relief show.
"She can't go to G'geckah on her own!" Astolan spluttered, "and there's no one free to go with her - "
"I'll go." Nonnia interjected softly coming to stand beside Mahrayne.
"What?" Astolan glared at the nervously defiant female.
"I'll go with Mahrayne to G'geckah."
Mahrayne gave her tertera a tremulous smile of gratitude and inched closer to the older female.
"That's settled then." Marldus said before any more protests could be raised. "Was there anything else?"
Astolan huffed. "The child is one thing, but I cannot allow Mahrayne to return to Vejiitasei."
The Lead Speaker smiled a little sadly.
"I'm afraid that, my friend, is beyond my control. Mahrayne's presence is required by the Saiya-jin-no-Ou and the R'ren'nkh'ian High King."
"We could refuse – " Astolan said half-heartedly.
Marldus shrugged apologetically. "You know we cannot, Astolan, we are members of the Empire now and we cannot refuse a request from our allies."
Leaving the male to chafe silently, Marldus turned to Mahrayne.
"I think it would be advisable to have these tests done as soon as possible, daughter," he said quietly, "I will contact G'geckah immediately, and organise your transport there."
"Thank you, Lead Speaker," Mahrayne all but whispered; she looked over at Nonnia and managed another small smile.
"Could you pack us some clothes, please? I need to contact R'ren'nkh'ia."
Marldus accompanied the two females to where they would pick up the supitso.
"I wish you had told me about this earlier, Mahrayne," Marldus murmured, "it could have saved a lot of distress."
"I'm sorry, Lead Speaker," Mahrayne whispered through threatened tears, "I didn't know what to do..."
He touched her shoulder briefly and smiled. "I assume the father is looking forward to your return after FullMoon?"
"He is – " Mahrayne smiled softly, then stopped as something in Marldus's tone caught her attention.
"You knew, didn't you?" she accused him.
The Lead Speaker had the good grace to look a little embarrassed.
"I did, yes. My friends on G'geckah thought I should be informed, and yes - " he forestalled her next comment, " – I know there is nothing wrong with the child."
Mahrayne was annoyed and pathetically grateful all at once, and well aware of Nonnia listening intently at her side. She looked up at her Household head.
"Thank you for intervening."
"Would you have let them kill your child?" Marldus said seriously.
Mahrayne bared her teeth in a purely Saiyan expression, and the Lead Speaker chuckled.
"I didn't think so."
The supitso settled noiselessly in front of them. Marldus opened the door and ushered the females in with a smile. Mahrayne turned back to him.
"Why do you intervene on my behalf, Lead Speaker? Why do you protect me?"
Marldus regarded her steadily.
"Because you are exceptional." he said softly.
"'Exceptional'?" Mahrayne's mouth twisted into a bitter smile, "and all this time I thought I was merely a freak."
He smiled again. "Travel safely." he said, and closed the door.
© 2002 May 29th Amanda Mullane
The daughter of one of a male's other females.
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