Rest

At seventeen Watari Yutaka was often taken for a girl - a skinny girl with a boyish body and walk, and a surprisingly deep voice, but a girl nevertheless. Growing his hair long didn't help, of course, but he refused to cut it. It was 1970 and he was in love with the whole 'hippy thing' that was happening on the other side of the world…
      It caused papa-san no end of embarrassment, but Yutaka was independently-minded and irrepressible, and as long as his school grades were high - which they always were - neither mama-san nor papa-san were going to worry too much. Especially mama-san, from whom he'd inherited his pale skin and blond hair. (He never had quite managed to work out how mama-san, who was European and quite lovely, had fallen in love with papa-san, who was Japanese and really rather ordinary, the young rebel thought, comparing them. But they were in love, that much was very obvious.)
      Watari Yutaka was intelligent, and resourceful. He'd inherited his father's scientific bent, and was studying mechanical engineering, with chemistry as a secondary subject.
      And then he met Paul Davis.
      Paul had been an old friend of his mother's. She had explained how they knew each other, but Yutaka was too busy gazing into the deepest, warmest pair of brown eyes he'd ever seen, and her voice had faded into the background. Paul had shaken his hand in the Western fashion, taking the smitten teenager's thin, delicate fingers into his broad warm paw and squeezing very gently.
      "Pleased to meet you, Yutaka."
      He'd blushed scarlet like some silly little girl, hating himself for how… gauche it must have made him look. But Paul had used his given name. The informality of it was both shocking and thrilling. Those wonderful eyes had crinkled in a huge smile, then Paul's attention turned to his old friend…
      Yutaka had been silent over dinner, trying not to be too obvious as he watched the Briton from under long lashes. Paul, he vaguely remembered, afterwards, was some sort of civil engineer, sent here by his company to do something… His heart leapt when he heard papa-san suggest politely that his troublesome young son might increase his knowledge of his chosen field if it were permitted for him to accompany Davis-san for a day or two…
      Paul had frowned thoughtfully.
      "I'll have to clear it with my bosses, but I don't see why not." He grinned at Yutaka, who blushed furiously again and lowered his eyes. "Would you like that, young 'un?"
      "H… hai… Davis-san…"
      "Call me Paul. If you can." It was almost a challenge, and accompanied by a deep chuckle that made the teenager shiver slightly. He raised his eyes and offered a small, shy smile.
      "Paul-san."
      Paul laughed outright.
      "No, just Paul." He turned to mama-san. "He's a treasure."
      Mama-san smiled proudly.
      "We think so."
      Thoroughly embarrassed, Yutaka bowed his head, but Paul left soon afterwards, promising to see what he could do about 'work experience' for the youngster…
      That night was sleepless for Yutaka.

Two days later, in coat, helmet and reinforced boots that were slightly too large for him, he found himself trailing around a massive building site with Paul. It was all so far removed from the safe warmth of the classroom that Yutaka felt completely disorientated. It didn't help that half the people they met seemed to look at the teenager speculatively and grin at Paul, muttering something in which the word 'peece' seemed to figure largely - at which Paul had chuckled in a slightly embarrassed way and introduced his young companion as Mr Watari. Which had a lot of Western eyes opening widely… Yutaka cursed his inability to understand English…
      But it was a very instructive day, and he learned a lot. Paul was treated with becoming deference by his Japanese colleagues, and with the oddest sort of respectful familiarity by his British ones, and took the time to explain, in Japanese, everything they saw on the site. By the end of the day Yutaka was exhausted, his brain swimming from the unfamiliarity of it all.
      Which didn't stop him being horribly disappointed when Paul escorted him home…

The following day was very similar, and at the end of it Paul asked him if he'd like to go somewhere to eat. Yutaka had grinned and nodded eagerly, tiredness forgotten in tingling pleasure at the thought of spending more time with the older man. Paul had eyed him narrowly, then smiled.
      "I know just the place."

It was small, clean and comfortable, and the food was good. And Yutaka tasted beer for the first time - not liking it very much, but he'd be damned if he let anyone know! He felt… so grown-up… And Paul was so easy to talk to. Yutaka had asked him about his home, then listened happily for two hours as the older man told him all about England, only stopping when he realised his companion's eyelids were drooping. He stopped himself with a small grimace.
      "I'm sorry, Yutaka. I'm afraid my tongue runs away with me! Time we got you home - your parents will be sending out a search party."
      The teenager smiled.
      "Na, they knows Ay'm with you. They won' worry."
      Paul looked sceptical.
      "Yes, well, we have an early start again tomorrow. You need your beau… your sleep."
      Yutaka sighed regretfully, lowering his eyes.
      "S'pose so. Sankyu, Paul-sa… Paul."
      The engineer grinned affectionately.
      "You're welcome."

Yutaka woke from a disturbed night with a sense of dread. Today was his last day at the site.
      The last day he could spend with Paul.
      He couldn't face breakfast. Instead, he stood gazing at himself in the mirror. For the first time ever wishing he was a girl.
      If he was female, Paul might want him… want him physically…
      He covered his mouth with his hands as he whimpered, his eyes filling with tears.
      … kuso…

"You're very quiet today, 'taka. You OK?"
      Yutaka's head jerked up, eyes wide … taka? Paul called him a hawk?... that was so beautiful… Then he realised it was nothing more than the odd Western habit of shortening names… He nodded, his doleful expression giving the lie to the action. Paul laid a hand on his shoulder, frowning.
      "Watari-san, what is the matter?"
      Yutaka swallowed hard, biting the inside of his cheek to prevent tears.
      "Is nothin', Davis-san…"
      Paul half-grinned ruefully.
      "And pigs might fly…"
      Yutaka blinked, the strange phrase not making any sense, then sighed and lowered his head.
      "Ay'm very sorry t'have delayed yew in yer work, Davis-san. Shall us continue?"
      Paul had eyed him, concern glowing in those lovely brown eyes, but - respecting Yutaka's spoken wish - pulled back a little and led him onwards…

It was mid-afternoon when it happened. Yutaka had been making his way dispiritedly across the site when he suddenly became aware of activity - and noise - around him. He gazed at the gesticulating figures in bewilderment, then one voice sounded above all the others.
      "TAKA!!"
      He turned.
      The defective crane's swinging arm smashed into him, lifting and throwing him a good thirty feet to land heavily on fractured concrete. As the world started to spin, he dimly saw Paul's face gazing down at him, tears in warm brown eyes…

"…taka…"
      Everything was muffled, as though his head was wrapped in cotton. He struggled to open his eyes, gazing blearily up into the face above him.
      "No'… much 'f a… bird… not get out… of t'way…"
      Paul gingerly stroked his face.
      "I'm so sorry…"
      It was a struggle to keep his eyes open. The left side of his body felt… strange… too heavy, numb… He tried to turn his head, yelping quietly when a shaft of pain speared down his back. Paul shook his head.
      "Don't try to move, chibi. You were hurt."
      Yutaka could feel himself paling.
      "How…" There was no sound. He swallowed and tried again. "How much?"
      Paul looked devastated.
      "Your left arm and leg are broken. There are other smaller injuries, but those are the main ones."
      Yutaka sighed, his eyes closing despite his efforts to keep them open.
      "Oh… s'not so bad then…"

When he next awoke it was to pain… He whimpered. A strong broad hand stroked his hair back from his face.
      "I'm here, Taka. If you can bear it for a moment, I'll have a nurse give you more pain relief."
      Paul? But it was dark outside… Must be… he had no idea how long he'd been here…
      "Davis-san?"
      Paul grinned mirthlessly.
      "I deserve that, Watari-san."
      Yutaka gazed at him for a long moment, forcing his eyes to stay open and wincing as the summoned nurse jabbed a hypodermic into his unbroken arm. Then he sighed.
      "No' much 'f a bird if Ay can't fly 'way from an accident…"
      Paul stared at him, lips parted, then managed a choked laugh.
      "You are quite extraordinary, Watari Yutaka."
      As the anaesthetic took effect and his eyes started closing, the teenager smiled. It was, thought Paul, probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
      "love yew too, Paul-san…"

"Taka, I can't. Kuso, I'm more than twice your age!"
      Yutaka, leg in plaster from thigh to toes, arm similarly restricted from shoulder to palm, glared at the older man.
      "Do this look like t'face of someone who cares what other people think?"
      Paul shook his head in frustration and bemusement. How the hell were you supposed to argue with someone like this? He sighed and seated himself on the bed, reaching for Yutaka's unbroken hand, suddenly and breath-takingly hurting when it was snatched away.
      "Taka…"
      Yutaka awkwardly turned away, but not before Paul saw the tears in his eyes. He moaned and sank his head into his hands.
      "This… it would be against both our cultures… I'm old enough to be your father…"
      A slender hand stroked his wiry dark hair.
      "Bu' yew aren't papa-san. An' Ay don' care about the rest."
      Beautiful amber eyes filled with soft glints of gold… eyes full of love… Knowing he shouldn't but unable to resist, Paul lowered his face to Yutaka's, eyes closing, brushing soft virgin lips with his own, oblivious to the hand suddenly clenched in his hair…

Oddly, it was papa-san who was least bothered by the affair. Mama-san had shouted and raged and told Paul she never wanted to see him again, but papa-san… papa-san was resigned, as though he'd expected this all along. Not that he gave them his blessing, of course, but he also didn't object…

Yutaka wrapped his arms tightly around Paul's neck as the older man carried him into the apartment… almost like a Western bride, he thought, gleefully - although this was actually occasioned by his only having been out of plaster for an hour. It was going to take quite a while for him to get back the full use of his limbs.
      … Don't need to be able to move to make love… Lips gentle on Paul's neck, Yutaka grinned to himself as the older man set him very carefully down on the bed - a Western style bed, he noted. He lay back with a sigh, legs relaxed and slightly apart, hands to either side of his head on the pillow, and smiled.
      "Ta…"
      Paul was sombre, running fingers hesitantly through soft honey-blond hair.
      "Taka…"
      Yutaka took his hand, kissing the fingers.
      "Paul…" He paused, gazing up into deep, warm brown eyes. "love yew. Please…"
      Paul sighed and kissed him gently.
      "I can't refuse you anything, little hawk…"
      "Then…" Yutaka blushed, lowering his eyes. "Make love to me?"
      Paul groaned, then shrugged out of his sweater, reaching to pull the shirt from his young lover's body.
      "Oh… yes…"

And it had hurt, and it was the best pain in the world, thought Yutaka triumphantly to himself, as Paul moved within him, the older man covering his body as he panted, and kissed, and thrust gently, one hand buried in long soft hair, the other supporting his weight...
      He grunted quietly as he came, quivering, body tensed, face buried in the crook of Yutaka's neck, then swiftly but carefully pulled out, gazing down into wide eyes golden in the evening light.
      "Are you OK, chibi?"
      Yutaka sighed and wriggled, grimacing slightly at the unfamiliar ache from his backside and the tickling semen trickling from him, then smiled dreamily.
      "Aa, Paul…"
      The older man grinned - then to Yutaka's startlement slid down the bed, coming to rest between his thighs, a finger gently stroking at the erection there. The teenager whimpered. Well yes, of course he knew how good it could feel - he'd just… never thought… expected… GODS it felt… felt so… wonderful when it was someone else doing the touching…
      Then Paul lowered his face and took Yutaka's erection into his mouth…

"Watari-san?"
      Watari groaned, trying very hard to stay in the dreamed memory, but the strong, gentle hand on his shoulder was insistent, he blinked his eyes open, disorientated, then blearily glanced up over his shoulder into rich blue eyes…
      Oh shit. Tatsumi…
      He dragged himself more or less upright, groaning as various muscles protested, and rubbed a hand over his eyes.
      "Tats'mi-san… sorry…"
      The Secretary fixed him with a stern look.
      "Watari-san, might I suggest that you try sleeping in a horizontal position? It is far better for one's health than this… slumping over a desk."
      Watari lowered his head and nodded.
      "Ay… lost track o' time… wun't happen again…"
      Tatsumi eyed the top of Watari's bowed head and sighed. Of course it would. Until the scientist was… happy? satisfied?... he'd continue to work himself until he passed out from exhaustion. It was counter-productive, if not actually dangerous.
      Watari needed a partner. Tatsumi had known it for quite a while. The problem was there was no-one available, and he had no leverage: Watari's cho was quiet, relatively untroubled, and Watari himself - despite all the teasing - a good and efficient worker…
      Tatsumi rested a hand gently on warm golden hair, the action softening the severity of his words.
      "Sleep now, Watari-san. Proper sleep. We cannot afford to have you make mistakes, not in your tasks."
      The head under his hand moved slightly in a nod.
      "Aa. Ay will, Tats'mi-san. Promise…"
      "Very well." Tatsumi pulled his hand away reluctantly. "I do not expect to see you until mid-day tomorr… later today."
      "…Kay…"

Watari stripped, leaving his clothes where they fell, and crawled into the makeshift bed in a quiet corner of his lab, sighing. He spent so much time here it would make more sense to organise something a little more comfortable, a little more permanent, than this…
      He rubbed a hand over his eyes. Heh, it didn't matter, really.
      As he drifted into sleep he saw eyes…
      Warm brown eyes… desire… closeness… companionship… understanding… love… closeness…
      Oriya.
      Oriya, who was hurting so much, who deserved so much better… Who deserved to be loved.

He suddenly jerked upright, chilled to the core.
      Oriya was alive. Was in Chijou.
      He was dead. A shinigami. In Meifu.
      Something Paul used to say shoved its way brutally up from his subconscious.
      "And never the twain shall meet…"




© 2004 March 27th Joules Taylor





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Watari was born 18th April 1953, and was apparently 24 when he died (which would have been 1977).

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The theria.net translation says he has a Batchelor's in mechanical engineering, so I'm assuming a BSc. What the equivalent is in Japan - especially Japan of the 70's - I have no idea, and while I probably could find out, there actually is a limit to my thoroughness, especially when I have so much else I'm supposed to be writing!

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District. Watari is responsible for the Kyoto/Osaka area.

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