Consolation
Wordlessly, Hijau handed his captain a beaker of ale, and watched as he downed it. A second followed, then Radittsu rubbed his hand across his eyes.
"You hungry?"
The older Saiyan shook his head. Hijau frowned.
"Have you eaten today?"
"No."
"Then you're hungry. Come on..."
Radittsu raised his head wearily.
"I'm staying here."
"Good. Now let's go and find somewhere to eat."
"I mean I'm staying here now."
Hijau stared at him for a moment, then sighed.
"Very well. I'll go get something we can eat here. Make yourself at home while I'm gone. Take a shower, have a nap."
Radittsu nodded, and Hijau turned to the door before his captain could see the look of anticipation and pleasure in his face.
Returning an hour later he found Radittsu had taken him at his word: showered and in a borrowed bodysuit, he was staring into another beaker of ale when his subordinate dumped provisions - in the form of ready-seared meat and a bag of mixed fruit - on the table, then seated himself opposite the captain.
"Help yourself."
Radittsu reached for a haunch automatically, chewing at the flesh for a moment then putting it aside. Hijau frowned.
"Bad day?"
The captain stared at him.
"What do you think?"
Well, it was common knowledge that the captain was wholly committed to (obsessed with, said some, although Hijau put that down to jealousy) his alien mate. He must be feeling... lost. Very lonely. In need of comfort... And Hijau had to admit he'd seen the big male looking better. Dark shadows and stress lines around his eyes, skin pale with fatigue - and the bruised bitemarks on his neck and across his shoulders didn't do anything to help either. Hijau reached over to touch one, sighing when Radittsu jerked away.
"Sorry. I got a bit carried away..."
The captain shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
Hijau frowned.
"Uh, Rad-san? You sure you want to stay?"
Radittsu slammed the beaker onto the table, sloshing ale over the sides, and glared at his subordinate.
"No I don't want to stay! I want to go home. But since I'm no longer welcome there, I'll take whatever's on offer. And you'd better be clear about that. I'm not here from choice."
Hijau nodded. "I know, sir. I don't care. You're my superior officer. I serve under you - any way you want."
The captain regarded him narrowly.
"Why?"
"Why what, sir?"
"Why are you being so... easy about this? You should be insulted, given the way we parted. Why aren't you insulted? You understand I won't let you take advantage of this - so if you were expecting preferential treatment later you can think again."
Hijau tried to look indignant but ended up smiling.
"Yes, I know." He sighed. "Fuck it, 'dittsu - can't I offer my own captain hospitality?"
"But you expect sex to be part of it."
"Expect, no. Hope, yes." He swallowed, licking suddenly dry lips, remembering last night and that morning. "I've missed you. Really missed you."
Radittsu lowered his gaze, trying not to remember. Hijau watched him sadly
"I'm not asking for anything, 'dittsu. I'm not expecting anything. You don't belong to me. You never have, you never will. I'm just trying to help."
The captain slowly raised his head. Hijau's expression was impassive - but there was a world of longing in his scent...
But any harm had already been done.
"Very well." Radittsu took a long pull of the ale, gazing at his second in command over the rim of the beaker, bleakly reflecting that sex was in any case probably the best way to take his mind off his own misery, at least for a little while...
I woke feeling cold and distinctly queasy, shivering in Vejiita's arms: he stirred and cradled me closer to his own warmth, but it didn't help, and moments later he sighed irritably and pulled himself upright.
"Get dressed. I'll take you to Vinas."
I bit my lip. This was the fifth time I'd woken up feeling ill and he'd had to carry me to the lab for tests. He'd stopped complaining about it, but it was still a bloody pain in the arse - literally, since that was the safest and easiest place for Vinas or Zh'leet to inject me with the powerful cocktail of nutrients and whatever other magic solutions they decided I needed each time. This time Vinas insisted I rest in the lab for a few hours: he wanted to run a series of blood tests.
While I was half-lying on the examination table, bored out of my mind, Tamata arrived, little Pasunippu in her arms. The infant squealed on seeing me and insisted on clambering onto the bed, twining his tail around my arm and patting at my belly - almost as if he knew there were future playmates in there.
Tamata gave me a careful hug.
"How're you feeling?"
"I'm fine. I'll be glad when this is over though."
She grinned. "Oh, you've a long way to go yet! Wait 'til they start kicking you awake and jumping on your bladder!"
I grimaced. "Thanks. I really didn't want to hear that..."
She chuckled. "Anything to help a friend! So, what's Radittsu doing with Hijau?"
I blinked, my mouth dropping open. "What?"
She inclined her head. "He's in Hijau's quarters. What happened - he have a fight with his lizard?"
I frowned. Well, at least I now knew he was safe...
"Not exactly. How'd you know where he is?"
"You know you can't keep anything secret in the barracks."
"But you're not in barracks any longer." It was true: Baadakku had arranged a small private dwelling for the little family, not far from the military compound.
"Yeah, but Kakarotto still spends quite a bit of time there, especially now, with the next operation being planned. He told me." She smirked. "Seems there's a lot of people wondering just what's so special about Hijau! So c'mon - tell me all the juicy details..."
I tickled Pasunippu, avoiding Tamata's eyes. "I don't know any."
"You must know! You spend most of your time with them."
I sighed. "Radittsu and Zha'haabron arrived back while I was here. By the time I got to the suite the king was in the pool with his kin and Radittsu had gone - they didn't know where. I do know that the king killed his brother while they were on R'ren'nkh'ia, and it hit him hard."
"Why'd he do that?"
She was wincing by the time I'd finished the story.
"Poor Zha'haabron! He really has a hard time of it, doesn't he." She frowned. "But that doesn't explain why Radittsu left. I mean, I'd have thought he'd want to be there to give comfort."
"I know. It doesn't make sense - Radittsu adores Zha'haabron. There's got to be more to this than there seems."
"Can't you ask them? The lizards, I mean?"
I sighed. "Yes - when Vinas lets me leave this bloody lab!"
"And that will not be until tomorrow at the earliest." The Feeodoreean appeared in the doorway, glancing up from a sheaf of notes, frowning slightly.
I glowered. "Why's that?"
"I'm unhappy with these test results. You will be kept under observation overnight while we try to determine the problem and devise a way to correct it."
I slumped. I knew what that meant - a night of being woken every hour or so for them to take another blood sample and give me another injection of some concoction or other. I gazed up at Tamata's sympathetic face.
"I really hope the end result is worth all this..."
She grinned and ruffled my hair. "I'm sure it will be. Well, I'd better be going. If I can, I'll come back tomorrow morning, but I can't promise. Kakarotto's got a few days leave..."
I grinned. "It's fine. You enjoy yourselves!"
"Oh, we will! Anything you want me to do for you in the meantime?"
I wondered for a moment about getting her to deliver a message to the suite, telling them where Radittsu was - then changed my mind. Sod it, if they couldn't be bothered to make sure that he was all right then they deserved to worry for a while - and I was sure Zha'haabron would, once he came to his senses! I shook my head.
"Not that I can think of. Thanks for dropping in." I gave the giggling Pasunippu a hug and handed him back. "I'll see you soon."
She grinned and made her way out, and I resigned myself to another long, uncomfortable and boring night...
"How you feeling?"
Radittsu growled. "Will you stop asking me how I'm feeling!"
"Sorry..."
Hijau grinned behind his captain's back. Radittsu was always so fucking bad-tempered first thing in the morning...
He bit one strong broad shoulder and slid his tail over the captain's hip, teasing the already-hard shaft, feeling the shiver that ran through the big, powerful body. Radittsu turned to him.
"You never satisfied?"
"Just can't get enough of you, 'dittsu. Never could..."
Grinning mirthlessly, the captain flipped him onto his stomach and shoved into him, biting the back of his neck, ignoring the younger male's cry of pain as he thrust fast and came quickly, collapsing onto Hijau's back.
The smaller Saiyan tried to wriggle, then growled.
"Get off - I can't breathe."
Smirking, Radittsu moved to lie to one side as Hijau rolled slightly, propping his head on his fist and gazing at the big male. He was still erect: Radittsu lazily reached a hand down and gripped him firmly, pumping as Hijau gasped and shuddered, his eyes closed, teeth gritted, as he fought off his climax for as long as possible, memorising the feel of his captain's hand working him - then pulling himself tightly against the other's hard, strong body as he came.
"...ahhhhh..." Hijau sighed, feeling his body loosen, beginning to feel the bruises from the night before. Grinning to himself he grabbed handfuls of Radittsu's mane and dragged the beautiful face down to his - then kissed him, hungrily, tongue invading the hot mouth.
Radittsu responded, hands sliding around the younger officer, burying strong fingers in the deep fur of his tail, stroking, stimulating, feeling Hijau grow erect again - feeling empty inside. As Hijau caught hold of his tail he sighed, relaxing, rolling onto his stomach and spreading his thighs as the younger male slicked semen from his own belly to use as lubricant, searching fingers probing gently, persistently.
It was strange, thought Radittsu, distantly, minutes later as Hijau positioned himself, that the younger officer had no compunction about using his teeth savagely, and didn't seem to mind being entered dry, but always insisted on preparing his partner. There was a certain - tenderness to that. Though where this liking for rough play had come from Radittsu had no idea, and wasn't sure he wanted to know...
He'd been right - sex did make him forget, for a little while. And Hijau was as skilful as ever, and his stamina was impressive. He just wasn't who Radittsu wanted...
Then he shivered as Hijau penetrated, pressing in slowly, angling himself, and Radittsu groaned as the rigid organ slid over that spot again and again as the young officer began to thrust...
Zha'haabron stirred, reaching for his beloved...
His hand met cool silky skin, and he frowned for a moment, then half-opened tired eyes. Ti'aasaan was gazing down at him.
"How are you feeling, my Ssii'iin?"
The king sighed and considered the question. He felt... empty. But no longer filled with that devastating, unbearable anguish. He smiled and pulled the little zn'hre to him, kissing his forehead.
"Tired. But... healing. Thank you." He twisted to Zha'haarak, reaching a hand to his host-sib. "Both of you."
Zha'haarak nestled behind him, holding him close. "We are simply grateful we could help."
Zha'haabron sighed and closed his eyes - only to open them a moment later.
"Rhoi'i'dat'hzziu?"
Ti'aasaan bit his lip. "He's - not here, my Ssii'iin."
Zha'haabron struggled to sit up, only to collapse back onto his elbows as the room spun dizzily. Zh'leet bustled over from where she'd been trying to make sure the little princes each had their fair share of the afternoon meal - Zha'raadiin had a habit of pinching all the choicest cuts and leaving the less favoured for his siblings, which always led to squabbles - and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"You, my Ssii'iin, are half-starved." She pulled a handful of pillows closer and settled the king more comfortably. "You are not to try to move until you've had something nutritional." She nodded at Ti'aasaan, who obligingly collected a beaker of juice from the cooler for her. Handing it to Zha'haabron, the ko'ish'n scowled.
"Drink."
Moments later, handing back the emptied beaker, he rubbed a hand across his eyes.
"Where is Rhoi'i'dat'hzziu?"
Zh'leet hesitated, then grimaced.
"We don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly that, my Ssii'iin. We don't know where he is."
Zha'haabron's eyes widened as he pulled himself up, instinctively *calling* for his bondmate - but there was no reply. Fighting down incipient panic, he tried to trace the Saiyan's ki, gasping as dizziness forced him to lie back. He was too weak, didn't have the energy to *reach* any appreciable distance. He stared at the ko'ish'n.
"What happened?"
Zh'leet seated herself on the sleeping platform and told him what she knew. Zha'haabron's eyes closed as he groaned.
"He must have thought I blamed him after all..."
"Blamed him for what, my Ssii'iin?"
Grimly, the king explained what had happened at Gh'grigon's enclave. At the end of the account Zh'leet's shaking hands were clasped over her mouth, the zn'hre trembling as they held Zha'haabron tightly.
**Oh, my love... And we just let him walk away... Our beloved Ssii'iir...!**
Zh'leet looked distraught.
"We have to find him."
"How?"
She bit her lip. "I don't know - ask Vejiita?"
Zha'haabron shook his head. "If we ask anyone, it must be Leteetza. I do not wish for anyone outside the family to know what has happened until we can put it right - if then. Where is the little warrior?"
The biogeneticist had contacted Zh'leet late last night to discuss his findings: she smiled tiredly, pleased that she could offer the information.
"With Vinas. Oh, she's fine," she hastened to reassure the king, who'd jerked upright, eyes wide with alarm. "Just a few minor problems judging how far and fast to increase the nutrient solution. We are taking very good care of her, believe you me. Give me a moment and I'll ask him how she's faring."
The brood tapped the lab's code into the console and drummed her fingers for a moment or two while the connection was made. Vinas greeted her cordially - then the zn'hre 'switched off' as the conversation became technical. But a few minutes later the brood turned from the unit and sighed.
"All is well, and she is on her way here..."
Zha'haabron was sitting up when I entered, Zha'haarak behind him, supporting him. I bowed my head.
"Your Majesty. I trust you're feeling a little better?"
"Indeed." He beckoned to me, but I held my place: I was still bloody annoyed with them for their behaviour and intended them to know it. The king sighed.
"Little warrior, please, be seated. We have explanations to make."
Reluctantly - and making sure they saw it - I sat on the edge of the sleeping platform. Silently, Zh'leet handed me a beaker of the fruity stuff: I drank as Zha'haabron detailed what had happened on R'ren'nkh'ia. At the end I glared at him.
"That'll teach you to do something as stupid as sharing such a bastard's persona with anyone!"
Golden eyes closed, hiding fear and pain, as his head fell forwards, and I realised suddenly how dreadfully frail he looked. I sighed, already regretting my 'told you so'. I heard my voice soften.
"And you were so... upset about your brother's death that you couldn't deal with it? And you kept it from Radittsu so he didn't get hurt?"
The king nodded, his eyes still closed. I shifted closer and took his hand.
"Noble of you. If stupid. So now Radittsu thinks your - coldness was because you blame him for his betrayal."
"I believe so..." It was whispered.
"You want him back?"
The golden eyes were dark with soulfelt pain.
"How can you ask?"
There's a cruel streak in me somewhere - I wouldn't be Saiyan if there wasn't, I suppose. I wanted them to suffer just a little while longer.
"Why did he leave?"
"That was my fault." Zh'leet looked embarrassed and guilty. "I took him to task over the Ssii'iin's health when they returned." She closed her eyes and swallowed, lips quivering. "It was the first thing I did! I didn't even welcome him back..."
I scowled. "And you haven't tried to find him?"
Zha'haabron rubbed at his forehead with a trembling hand.
"I have *called*, but he hasn't answered. And I cannot track his ki - either because I am too weak or he is suppressing it. Or both."
"So he's out there somewhere," I gestured towards the windows, "loose in the city, possibly with Zha'geekaan's persona still in control, and you've done nothing else to try and find him. Isn't that just a tiny little bit irresponsible?"
Zha'haabron stared, his eyes widening hugely, a look of sheer horror on his face.
"I... I had not thought... Yes, it is. Not to mention cruel and unloving..."
He sank his face into his hands, eyes wide and appalled. I lay both hands on his shoulders.
"It's all right. I know where he is."
I thought he was going to faint, he went so white - but he glanced up at Zh'leet's angry intake of breath and hissed at her.
"Not one word!"
He gazed at me, such sorrow in those beautiful golden eyes.
"Is... is he well?"
I nodded. "I guess so. He's with Hijau. Want me to go round him up?"
He shook his head. "Thank you, but no. I caused this, I must correct it also."
Zh'leet dashed forwards as he tried to rise then slumped to hands and knees on the platform.
"Ssii'iin! You're far too ill..."
For a moment he knelt, head bowed, breathing deeply, then raised his head, gazing at the ko'ish'n, his expression calm but brooking no denial.
"I require something to give me sufficient energy to allow me to go to him. Do you have such a compound?"
"Ssii'iin..."
"Yes or no."
She sighed. "Yes. But it'll leave you very weak."
"I will worry about that later."
Defeated, Zh'leet turned and went to fetch her case.
"Are you sure about this?"
Zh'leet had injected the king with the drug half an hour ago, and he was now dressed and on his feet, horribly pale but very determined. He nodded. I bit my lip.
"You won't be angry at what you find, will you?"
His gaze flickered to me, frowning slightly. I swallowed hard.
"Hijau... Hijau is very fond of Radittsu, considers him a friend as well as his commanding officer."
Zha'haabron stared blankly for a moment, then smiled.
"And may have offered - comfort - to Rhoi'i'dat'hzziu."
I nodded, and he cupped my cheek with a hand that felt much colder than normal.
"I promise you I will not be angry."
His breathing ragged, muscles aching, Hijau was still shaking from his climax deep within his captain's body when the light tap came on the door. Groaning, he lapped quickly at the blood trickling from the latest bite on Radittsu's shoulder and pulled out gently, making his partner gasp and shudder. Padding over to the door, he threw it open.
"What do you w..."
His voice tailed off into silence, his scent changing to one of fear. Radittsu turned over, wincing - only to freeze, wide-eyed in shock.
Zha'haabron inclined his head politely. "May I come in?"
Belatedly Hijau dropped to one knee, his fist clenched over his heart.
"M... Majesty..."
Zha'haabron entered and closed the door behind him, then extended a hand to the young officer.
"Please, stand."
Not daring to take the proffered hand, Hijau pulled himself unsteadily upright. The High King gazed down into his face, a faint smile on his lips.
"I understand that you have cared for my bondmate while I have been - indisposed."
Hijau nodded, incapable of speech. Zha'haabron swung his attention to the bed.
**Zk'vissin... I have no real right to ask it, given how I have treated you, but... Will you come home? Please?**
Radittsu bit back a sob, his eyes flickering down to the ruin of the bed, across to Hijau, then returning to the king.
*Are you sure you want me? After... this?*
The beautiful golden eyes were soft, loving.
**This makes no difference. And in any case the fault is mine. I drove you away. You sought comfort - how could I blame you for that? I was selfish, thoughtless. Can you forgive me?**
The big Saiyan hauled himself from the bed, almost stumbling in his haste to take his beloved into his arms.
*... you have no idea how much I've missed you...*
**And I have caused you so much pain. I am sorry. It is the last thing I have ever wanted to do**
Radittsu stroked Zha'haabron's back, gently, feeling the tightly-reined quivering through the too-thin, too-cold body, suddenly aware of how close his king was to collapsing.
*You shouldn't be on your feet. You haven't recovered yet.* He pressed warm lips to his bondmate's forehead, then beckoned to Hijau to come closer - grabbing his hand and wrapping the startled Saiyan's arm around the king's waist.
"His Majesty has been ill and is very weak. Support him while I dress."
"Yes sir!" Hijau snapped to attention automatically, his arm tightening as Zha'haabron swayed. Radittsu disappeared into the bathroom, and the R'ren'nkh'ian gazed down at Hijau, eyes sombre but gentle.
"Thank you. Thank you for caring for him. For ministering to him."
"My pleasure, your Majesty."
Hijau could have sworn, later, that there was the tiniest hint of mischief in the golden eyes.
"I trust that the pleasure was mutual."
Hijau risked a quick grin.
"He's - quite something, your Majesty."
"Yes, he is, isn't he? I should treasure him more carefully."
Radittsu re-appeared, light armour over his bodysuit, the worst of the bruises and bites hidden, and Zha'haabron loosed his hold on the younger Saiyan's shoulder, standing unsteadily but unaided. The captain prowled to his bondmate's side, hesitating for just a moment - then yanked his second in command into a fierce embrace.
"Thank you."
Hijau buried his hands in the thick black mane, reaching up to kiss, tasting the smoky heat of his superior's mouth one last time.
"I'm going to miss you, y'know." he whispered. Radittsu's arms tightened around him.
"If it's any consolation, I'll miss you too. A little."
"It is. Some consolation, I mean."
Radittsu chuckled and pulled back, slapping the younger officer's shoulder.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. Or the day after that..."
Hijau grinned. "Yes - sir."
He watched from the door as his captain swept the flagging R'ren'nkh'ian into his arms, cradling him close, head bowed and shoulders shaking as he pressed kisses to his bondmate's throat, then strode towards the exit. Hijau sighed and closed the door, the tiniest twinge of envy snaking through his mind. To be loved that much...
He turned to the wreck of the bed, shaking his head. Blood and semen stains, torn sheets, leaking pillows... He sighed and sat cross-legged in the midst of the debris, breathing deeply, memorising the scents of the best sex he'd ever had, realising suddenly that it had been a little more than just sex. Radittsu had, once again - touched something, inside him. He hugged a shredded pillow to his chest, frowning. It was a kind of... kind of... belonging. It was - nice. No, it was far more than nice. He was missing it already. He wanted more of it.
If that was what being bonded to a lizard did to you - perhaps he should get to know them a little better himself.
In the meantime... He sighed and rose from the bed, dragging the ruined bedclothes with him. Better get the place cleared up.
It had been wonderful while it lasted...
© 2001 November 30th Joules Taylor
This chapter is dedicated to Carol: I promised her something light and fluffy to make up for the doom and angst of the previous few chapters!
For any of you not that familiar with DragonBall who might be wondering how Radittsu (at about 6' 8" - in my continuum anyway) can fit into a bodysuit borrowed from Hijau (who's around 6' and a whole lot smaller), bodysuits and armour are made from a fabric capable of stretching to fit Saiya-jin in ouzaru (great big ape) form. Thus it truly is 'one size fits all'!
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